J.D. Vance Did Not Have Sexual Relations With That Couch: The Viral Hoax About Vance, A Glove And A Sofa Explained

In what is either a testament to the gullibility of political Twitter / X, the unpopularity of newly minted Republican Vice Presidential candidate J.D. Vance, or the gross overstatement of the popularity of Hillbilly Elegy, a decent chunk of social media has believed that the Ohio senator and Hillbilly Elegy author admitted to masturbating into a latex glove sandwiched between two couch cushions in the hit memoir for a week.

Despite the humorous aspects of the viral rumor, this is a load of spunk, pun very much intended. Here's how this lurid tale found its way into the public imagination so quickly.

Did J.D. Vance Admit To Having Sex With Couch Cushions In Hillbilly Elegy?

No.

On July 15th, Twitter user @rickrudescalves tweeted, "can't say for sure but he might be the first vp pick to have admitted in a ny times bestseller to fucking an inside-out latex glove shoved between two couch cushions (vance, Hillbilly Elegy, pp. 179-181)."

This is not accurate. No such tale appears in Hillbilly Elegy. In fact, @rickrudescalves signaled that he had made the story up by replying to a tweet with the iconic Go On the Internet and Tell Lies meme — though that did little to dispel its spread.

Why Do People Think J.D. Vance Had Sex With A Sofa Using A Latex Glove?

J.D. Vance is not exactly a popular figure among the left, and many online who encountered the "couch cushion" tweet seemed to figure that it sounded plausible enough to be true. Hillbilly Elegy does have some anecdotes about Vance's life growing up, and a lurid tale from one's youth could reasonably appear in a memoir (though how Vance could have stretched the situation in the "couch cushion" tweet to three full pages is best left to the imagination).

It seemed to first course through #Resistance Twitter types, culminating in getting spread by one of the faction's ultimate goobers, Ed Krassenstein.

It also inspired memes, including a real Craigslist prank ad for "J.D. Vance's used couch."

The story is a familiar tale of liberals willing to buy ridiculous stories about the other side, even if the stories are obviously jokes. The way the hoax unfolded is very similar to the rumor about a Capitol rioter getting tased to death via his testicles that spread in the wake of the January 6th insurrection at the Capitol in 2021.

Just as in the "J.D. Vance couch cushion" hoax, a jokester on Twitter came up with a ludicrous story about a January 6th rioter and, since the whole situation was surreal, people were willing to buy it, even though it was a complete fabrication.

For the full history of the J.D. Vance Couch Cushion Hoax, be sure to check out Know Your Meme's encyclopedia entry for more information.