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Weird movie ideas.

Last posted Nov 03, 2020 at 02:27AM EST. Added Oct 31, 2020 at 06:06PM EDT
3 posts from 3 users

Share any interesting ideas for movies you've had, no matter how bad they might be.

I had this idea for a James Bond movie that would work best for whenever Daniel Craig retires where 007 (Daniel Craig) is lamenting about how he's getting old for his job when he is sent on the usual mission to apprehend an especially dangerous insurgent group run by rogue MI6 Agents that have successfully stolen highly confidential MI6 files without being noticed until recently. 007 eventually reaches their hideout and is confronting the insurgents leader when he asks the leader's identity, to which he responds "007" and turns around to reveal that he's Sean Connery. Craig 007 repeats his demand but is then surprised and incapacitated by Roger Moore. Craig 007 wakes up strapped to a table with Connery 007 and Moore 007 watching him for a few solid minutes, wondering when they're going to start interrogating him, Craig asks if they're just going to sit there when Pierce Brosnan and George Lazenby walk through the door with a cart full of the stolen MI6 files. Connery says "I presume this is what M sent you for?" and then asks Craig 007 what year he was born, to which he initially expresses confusion at but then answers 1968 (Daniel Craig's actual birth year). The other 007s chuckle and Connery then asks him something along the lines of "So you were born already having completed 5 highly important missions?" and then shows him some of the stolen MI6 files, detailing the events of the first 5 Bond films and stating that they took place in the years they were released. Craig then remarks that the documents are clearly fake and that he wants to know where the real stolen files are. Lazenby then comments that "Perhaps you did your first mission when you were only a year old, quite an impressive feat if you did Mr. Bond!" and then shows him a file documenting the events of Diamonds Are Forever. The other Bonds then each show him more and more files detailing the events of past films that conflict with Craig 007's memory. Upset and slowly becoming confused, he passive-aggressively asks: "Well, then why don't you tell me what happened?" to which Connery 007 then informs him that he and the other James Bonds are all genetically engineered super-spies that have randomized appearances to prevent any outside suspicion. He then goes on to tell him that they're not out to acquire power or wreak havoc, butt that their main motive is to get revenge on MI6 for creating them, treating them as less-than-people and attempting to execute them whenever they get too old and that Craig 007 is probably going to be disposed of when he returns from this mission. Some other stuff happens that convinces Craig 007 that Connery and the other Bonds are telling the truth and decides to ally with them. They go to confront M at the MI6 headquarters only for it to be a trap that quickly devolves into a chaotic gunfight. The other bonds are either critically injured or killed in the ensuing chaos until only Craig 007 is left. He eventually gets to M and nearly forces a truce until he's suddenly killed by an MI6 agent. M then congratulates the agent and calls them by their name and code number: Bond, James Bond, 007.

This would probably piss off a good chunk of the fanbase if it were made solely because of the greater implications of the story and I totally understand why and I wouldn't blame anyone for not liking it on that basis. It kind of turns some fundamentals on their head and in all honesty, I just came up with this because I thought it was weird how the Bond films kind of just seem to take place whenever they were made and none of them really seem to canonize of de-canonize each other. It would honestly work best as a shitpost/parody but part of me kind of wants to see it become a real thing just because of how absurd my plot is. It almost assuredly never will for previous reasons and the fact that Sean Connery's no longer with us.

Anyone else?

I've had this retardedly stupid idea in my head for a film or possibly a series for about a month now, so I'll happily share it because it might make people more happy to discuss their own ideas, because I doubt it will seriously be as pants-on-head retarded as mine.

So, the whole thing starts off at the end of a generic fantasy series, with the Mary-Sue protag of the setting battling the big bad dark lord. The protag is as sickeningly noblebright and perfect as you can imagine, the kind of hero you just want to stab.

Now whilst all this is happening, the scene will occasionally cut to a destitute Serbian youth living on the border of Bosnia. We see him get into fights with Bosnians, do dull and uninteresting work which he get's paid tuppence for and an unsuccessful attempt at hunting for dinner that day.

After this goes back and forth for a bit, we stick with the Mary-Sue for a few scenes where she kills the Dark Lord, get's a big parade and then proudly boasts how she has bested every challenge the gods have set and beaten every Dark Lord that has ever risen.

After the celebrations have ceased, we then cut to a scene where the Mary-Sue is having an argument with the gods and goddesses of the realm, as she is bored with all the challenges and quests they have set for her, and she demands they do better.

During the most heated part of the argument, a small, soft voice cuts its way through the crowd. The crowd of mighty deities part to reveal a small, old man in a faded, brown suit with a tattered, red fez on his head.

The stranger introduces himself as Bog and says that he may have a solution to the Mary-Sue's problem. He explains that his people are in dire need of help and that it would be a challenge the like that this world has never seen.

Naturally the Deities of the realm know trouble when they see it and refuse to have anything to do with this stranger, but the Mary-Sue says she'll gladly take any challenge Bog has, as she can do anything. Bog in response to all of this, simply laughs.

We then cut back to an aerial view of the Balkans of our world. A faint shimmering light starts to surround Croatia, Bosnia and Serbia, before all three countries vanish with a sharp pop. This naturally leads to Slovenia launching an invasion of Bulgaria whilst they are distracted in a war with Albania over who gets the island that is now Kosovo.

We then see the three countries materialise in the sea off the coast of generic noblebright fantasy land, causing tidal waves and sudden storms from the rapid changes in air pressure.

After this, we then zoom back into the Serbian youth from before as everyone is running around in a panic and trying to work out what the hell is going on. Slowly, people start to realise that they are no longer on Earth, there's no one outside to help and there are god damn Bosnians in our backyards.

We then cut back to Mary-Sue, who after waiting a few days for the explosions and gunshots to die down (They don't), she embarks on an exhibition to the new land of Serbo-Bosno-Croatia to deal with the challenge that Bog has brought to her land.

However, she soon becomes very frustrated, as the Slavs simply don't give a shit about her and her noblebright ideas. After being told "Yeah, yeah, peace and love is great, but WE have to deal with those bastards over there first" for the seventy billionth time, she decides to try and be more forceful to get the Slavs to comply with her demands.

This works on getting all three groups to pay attention, which is incredibly unfortunate for the Mary-Sue, because the Slavs quickly realise three things. There are hostiles entities in this new world, they don't have modern weaponry and they are all godless heathens.

The Mary-Sue gleefully retreats back to the mainland to come up with a plan to deal with this new threat, whilst the Slavs form an uneasy truce and begin to pool together all of the knowledge of this new land they have.

They find that they know painfully little, so the elders of the combined council pick the Serbian youth, as well as a Bosnian and Croatian one, and send them off on a reconnaissance mission to find out what they can.

The story then splits into two, where we have our merry band of Slavs start off as being antagonistic to one another, but slowly forming a close friendship over their travels when they realise they have more in common than they initially thought. It should be really heart-warming stuff.

This is undercut by the effect they have on the locals, which is largely unintentional corruption and the spread of anarchy.

Meanwhile, the Mary-Sue is getting more and more paranoid, as Slav Land has stopped exploding and she is sure that an invasion is coming any second. This causes cracks to start appearing in her noblebright persona, as the Slavs "aren't playing by the rules".

Eventually, she snaps and decides that if the "Evil" army won't invade her, then she will invade them.

Cue hilarious montage of proud knights and regiments of foot getting mowed down by an old .50 Cal and some battered AKs. Mighty Dragons get SAM spammed out of the sky. The glorious naval fleet gets devastated by a Bekrija with an RPG because he got bored and thought they would make good target practice.

Upon hearing that the Motherland has come under attack, our three young heroes hurry back home, evading army patrols and stealing a fishing boat to make their way back home.

Once they reach the shores of Slav Land, they relay all they have learned to the combined council before taking up arms to join in the defence of their homes.

This all culminates in a pitched battle for survival from the Fantasy Land army as they try to deal with the onslaught of Slav Shit that is bearing down on them with the fury of a thousand suns. Soon, it's just the Mary-Sue left; deflecting bullets, casting spells, the usual anime bullshit.

However, neither the Serbs, Bosnians or Croats falter in this battle, for they know their fellow Slav brothers will stand with them, no matter what.

And it is in this moment, that their is a blinding flash of light and Slav Land disappears, leaving Mary-Sue to fall into the sea, where she desperately clings to a piece of driftwood to stay afloat.

Slav land returns back to our world, and acting upon the lessons they have been taught, overwhelm their weakened neighbours and once again reunite into Yugoslavia; bringing peace and stability to the Balkans.

The ending scene shows the broken and battered Mary-Sue washing up on the shore whilst the capital burns in the back ground and it all ends with her trudging back home whilst Bog laughs gently in the background.

And that's that. It could probably be pulled off well if you either went completely ham with every single part of it; or used a balance of seriousness coupled with a tongue in cheek tone; but it would be very hard to do.

Some of my movie ideas:

  • Odyssia Papadopoulos and the Princess of the Skies – A Greek college student in Italy gets mugged in her hotel room by an American woman. She goes to the nearest American airbase to complain, meets up with a druggie mechanic who happens to be a CIA agent, and they both end up going behind Russian lines during the Cold War. They get captured and end up in a Russian jail cell with the woman who mugged her. They are rescued when the Russian base is attacked by an ancient god of war and they escape on a CIA drug plane piloted by a veteran of the Battle of Midway who credits the American woman with training a team of women pilots. She does not remember any of this, and all three try to figure out what the hell is going on while they run from the KGB and while the leaders of Russia and the USA come close to starting World War 3. As for that ancient god of war, the druggie mechanic mainly relies on information from an Amazing Stories comic book but he also gets in touch with his archaeologist father Indiana Jones for any insight the old man might have.
  • Van Stoller – An FBI agent is fatally wounded while tracking an organized crime ring. Mad scientists at the hospital transplant his brain into the body of a brain-dead teenage girl who was in a car accident. Since no one expects the girl to be a threat, he uses her body to spy on the criminals and destroy them with bombs and bullets.
  • Space Nazis – 300 years in the future, a combination of high population and ecological constraints have forced humanity to accept a rigid control structure out of necessity. Extraordinary discipline is expected of anyone planning to work in space colonies where food is grown up there because they ran out of room on Earth. It's a social experiment as a story showing the upsides, downsides, and sideways through the experiences of a couple of space cadets, the 'good guy' who is the main character and his screwup friend who gets by on his wealthy parents bribing people. There are plenty of flaws, for example the leader that they glorify from 200 years ago wouldn't fit into their society.
  • Smash TV – a movie adaptation of the video game. A soldier comes home from the war to a terribly overpopulated New York City. Life is cheap, murder is tolerated if the victim is not important, race riots are encouraged by the government. He cannot find a way to make a living and is persuaded to join Smash TV, a "game show" where armed contestants search a building for prize coupons while fighting off a mob of commoners who try to attack them to take their coupons. After surviving a few rounds and becoming a popular contestant, he leads the mob in a revolt against the show itself. It's like Soylent Green with more murder.
  • Transformers: A Line in the Sand – A band of Canadian recruits of Middle Eastern descent is sent to Europe and the Middle East to infiltrate the terrorist organization al-Fuqtup. The terrorists are hosted by the small and insignificant country of Carbomiya which is hoping to get aid from the Americans to ask them to leave. After seeing news footage of the Decepticon attack on Chicago, the leader of Carbomiya makes a deal with the Decepticons to mine a deposit of high quality Energon on his land. Ultra Magnus leads a team of Autobots to keep the Decepticons from obtaining this strategic resource, and the Canadians get caught up in the middle of the fight.
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