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KYM Pony General V: We Just Don't Know What Went Wrong

Last posted Jul 01, 2012 at 04:43PM EDT. Added Feb 19, 2012 at 11:27PM EST
9926 posts from 193 users

What a welcoming mood everyone was in today.

Hi there, Zarathh! I’m the guy who links pictures to deviantART instead of the gallery here.
I'd introduce myself further, but that's not important right now. While the Death Battle between Dash and Starscream was indeed epic and correct, I have a slight adjustment for the title of best pony. Observe:

As you can see, the pwnage is undeniable.
Need more proof?

(Someone please tell me what artist drew this, because I have no idea.)

So there you have it. It was nice to meeting you, and remember,

Last edited May 03, 2012 at 04:18AM EDT

Twins the Serendipitous Serval wrote:

Read your fanfic. RARITY BELONGS TO APPLEJACK AND APPLEJACK ONLY You did a pretty good job there. I don't read many pony fanfics, or fanfics at all, but I can tell that yours was of rather high calibre.

Just work on your punctuation a bit. Explosive Lasers' comments seem to be spot on, except for this one thing: "so using more adjectives might help."

Yeah no. Don't fill up your story with random and unnecessary words. They're meaningless and impede readability. You can use more adjectives, but use them in a way that expands the narrative, instead of just being there to take up space.

II suggest adding more detail character development. Perhaps expand upon what is going upon in Rarity's mind. Also, Fluttershy was a bit out of character.

Other than that, a great start to what seems to be a cute little read.

@Zarathh
Welcome to KYM. We shall do our best not to smother you with love and friendship.

Noob.

Oh my, you read it?

Thank you. :D And yeah, I was so unsure of what Fluttershy would do in a situation like so. Oh well. ^^

Random picture time? Random picture time.

Zarathh wrote:

So how is everyone doing today?

Better tell this directly. This thread is not a chat. Small posts only asking others how they are doing or that you're going to bed or something similar aren't that appreciated.

Don't worry, you're new here, so it's normal that you make that post. I'm just sharing the info.

Besides that, I'm doing pretty good.

Last edited May 03, 2012 at 11:48AM EDT

RandomMan wrote:

Better tell this directly. This thread is not a chat. Small posts only asking others how they are doing or that you're going to bed or something similar aren't that appreciated.

Don't worry, you're new here, so it's normal that you make that post. I'm just sharing the info.

Besides that, I'm doing pretty good.

Alrighty! Thanks for the info, Random! Have some Rainbow Dash, everyone.

>best pony discussion
>not one mention of greatest and most powerful pony
>I shiggy diggy fo rizzle my nizzle
>suddenly pinecones falling out of my pockets
>OH MY GOD PINECONES EVERYWHERE



EDIT:
I saw somepony asking for the origins of Trixcones but they deledeted their post too quickly. For those curious, click here to get learned. It's tumblr, so start from the bottom post and go up.

Last edited May 03, 2012 at 01:34PM EDT

Jackal Lantern; "I saw somepony asking for the origins of Trixcones but they deledeted their post too quickly. For those curious, click here to get learned. It’s tumblr, so start from the bottom post and go up."

Oh yes, haha. That was me, I meant to click edit post, but I accidentally clicked delete. And thanks for the info.

Last edited May 03, 2012 at 01:41PM EDT

All of you are unlearnt, uncouth, unmannered philistines.
Rarity is, without doubt, the best poni.
Who else can rock out a Quarian suit?

Rarity

Who else can turn an abomination into a diabeetus inducer?

Rarity

Who else has one of the most adorable siblings?

The answer is the best pony.

I hate to start a spam filled thread of debating over who's best pony, buttttt…

It's on.

There's reliable links like this that can tell you why she's best pony.

Even Mr. Adolf thinks that she's best pony.

I think we know who's going to win here.

Last edited May 03, 2012 at 03:34PM EDT

PONY GENERAL PSA

It's really hard to link to funnyjunk for your images. It generally gives you that weird symbol meaning you dun goofed. I suggest uploading it to imgur or another image site like that or going to Ponibooru or another pony image board.

FunnyJunk links never work in embeds.

Explosive Lasers AKA Solaire AKA Sexiest wrote:

@Zarathh: That means me and Pinkie have the same birthday.

>MFW:

Anyways, y'all are being HILARIOUS and all, but I think it's high time you stop joking around.

I'm sure you can all agree that Applejack is best pont.

So I heard today was your birthday… Happy birthday!

Joe Amethyst wrote:

A Long Time Coming Part twooooooooo
For the few of you who probably care. :P

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EXPLOSIVEEEEE

If it goes the road I think it's going, I'm taking a swan dive out the window. Just sayin'.

Anyways, noticed a few errors. In the fifth to last paragraph, I think it should be 'they had eaten lunch', instead of 'ate'. In the last paragraph, I think it would fit the setting more to have 'By Celestia' in the place of 'By god'. Later in that same paragraph, the situation warrants 'due', instead of 'do', as in "she was having issues due to how heavy he was."

Other than that, I don't see too many errors. Overall, I'd say it's pretty good, if a bit fast-paced. But, again, that's just my opinion, and is by no means a problem with the story.

Explosive Lasers AKA Solaire AKA Sexiest wrote:

If it goes the road I think it's going, I'm taking a swan dive out the window. Just sayin'.

Anyways, noticed a few errors. In the fifth to last paragraph, I think it should be 'they had eaten lunch', instead of 'ate'. In the last paragraph, I think it would fit the setting more to have 'By Celestia' in the place of 'By god'. Later in that same paragraph, the situation warrants 'due', instead of 'do', as in "she was having issues due to how heavy he was."

Other than that, I don't see too many errors. Overall, I'd say it's pretty good, if a bit fast-paced. But, again, that's just my opinion, and is by no means a problem with the story.

It stays PG, don't worry. No eyeball stabbing or hair ripping will happen. I don't like to write anything too dirty anyway, and posting it to the internet on top of that would just be awkward and honestly a bit embarrassing. Sorry to the few grammar errors. I try to not mess it up as much as possible. Though I love proper grammar, I seem to have an issue here and there with stories and such.

Last edited May 03, 2012 at 04:41PM EDT

Joe Amethyst wrote:

It stays PG, don't worry. No eyeball stabbing or hair ripping will happen. I don't like to write anything too dirty anyway, and posting it to the internet on top of that would just be awkward and honestly a bit embarrassing. Sorry to the few grammar errors. I try to not mess it up as much as possible. Though I love proper grammar, I seem to have an issue here and there with stories and such.

"No eyeball stabbing or hair ripping will happen."
My gosh… I'm getting flashbacks from the Lil Miss Rarity tumblr. What I saw there, I don't want to see ever again. But I'll check the fanfic out, if I have time.

Joe Amethyst wrote:

It stays PG, don't worry. No eyeball stabbing or hair ripping will happen. I don't like to write anything too dirty anyway, and posting it to the internet on top of that would just be awkward and honestly a bit embarrassing. Sorry to the few grammar errors. I try to not mess it up as much as possible. Though I love proper grammar, I seem to have an issue here and there with stories and such.

You should add some porn.

@Joe Amethyst
I'll answer your fic with a few .gifs.
Before reading it:


After reading it:

I'm gonna leave it at that last part.

And btw, just a question. Did you have that idea in your head for a while? And do you constantly think of way of improving your story?
I say this because (and anyone else who's interested should see this too), Lunar Dawn is in the process of some big improvements. The basic outline of the story and major events are still the same, but I'm always thinking of the little parts I could add in. I've also considered new scenes for the other two (a prequel and sequel) throughout writing both of them.
All I'm gonna say with Lunar Dawn, is that once its done, it's gonna be:
-LONG (four chapters, each with a HUGE portion of text)
- Worth reading (hopefully; I'm starting to observe others (thanks Joe, and to other fic writers out there) and start to take hints on how to formulate an epic story by learning from others)

Somehow, for Joe, this seems relevant right now:

Last edited May 03, 2012 at 05:27PM EDT

@Unknown.

To be honest, I was bored after a test in history class last Thursday. I spent up until about Tuesday writing it, and now I'm finding difficulty continuing it.

Also, yes, I try to think of ways to improve it, all the time. Usually as I type it down, I'll rephrase a sentence or structure a paragraph differently so it sounds better than the thoughts I wrote into my notebook. (You don't even want to see what I wrote, it makes absolutely no sense at some points.)

And your welcome, I think? :P You shouldn't rely on my writings too much, I'm still fairly new at this.

And it seems to be random picture time again.

The more I look at my fan fiction, and the more Sparity I see, the more that Rarity is starting to become my favorite pony. Someone, please, help me. D:

Edit: No, no. It stays PG, mostly. MOSTLY. Them kissing scenes be pretty steamy. But yeah. I'd feel rather awkward writing one and posting it for all of Deviantart to see.

Last edited May 03, 2012 at 05:33PM EDT

Tyranid/zerg like Chrysalis!

Reminds me of the Zerg queen.
Have some mind bleaching cute!

Ontop of that; I am perfectly seeing Rarity to be in power armor and a hand cannon, in metroid!


Brace yourselves, Joe said "mostly".
'Mostly" means not-all-the-way-but-close-to

Anyway, I'm starting to try to analyze other people's fics if they want me to. You've got an interesting writing style to say the least. Sure, grammatical errors here and there, but other than that, it's:

I'm interested to see how the rest is gonna play out.

Last edited May 03, 2012 at 05:44PM EDT

@Unkown: Yeah, I think a lot of people write like that. I've had several stories laid out nearly entirely for a few months/weeks. I have major lines and all, and how the story progresses, but not the details, and it isn't all written down.

Which reminds me, I need to motivate my ass to post the fics I HAVE finished on fimfiction.net.

@Best episode:

This is still a debate? The finale episodes were the best, hands down.

@Some bomb-ass tunes I found!

It's actually a cover of another BOMB-ASS TUNE, made by d.notive.

And, on a hunch… I think d.notive likes Rarity…

@Joe:

So long as it stays PG I'll keep writing it and correcting grammar. I mean, it gives me an outlet for my pent-up Aryan rage English rage, so why the hell not?

Just work on proof-reading, and you're golden.

Edit: Speaking of Nazis and bomb-ass tunes…

A Russian gypsy singing a jazz song about another gypsy performing witchcraft.

TAKE THAT, HITLER!

Last edited May 03, 2012 at 05:59PM EDT

Explosive Lasers AKA Solaire AKA Sexiest wrote:

@Unkown: Yeah, I think a lot of people write like that. I've had several stories laid out nearly entirely for a few months/weeks. I have major lines and all, and how the story progresses, but not the details, and it isn't all written down.

Which reminds me, I need to motivate my ass to post the fics I HAVE finished on fimfiction.net.

@Best episode:

This is still a debate? The finale episodes were the best, hands down.

@Some bomb-ass tunes I found!

It's actually a cover of another BOMB-ASS TUNE, made by d.notive.

And, on a hunch… I think d.notive likes Rarity…

@Joe:

So long as it stays PG I'll keep writing it and correcting grammar. I mean, it gives me an outlet for my pent-up Aryan rage English rage, so why the hell not?

Just work on proof-reading, and you're golden.

Edit: Speaking of Nazis and bomb-ass tunes…

A Russian gypsy singing a jazz song about another gypsy performing witchcraft.

TAKE THAT, HITLER!

Regarding the music, the first song sounds a lot like Nightwish. I like Nightwish.
Regarding the second song, I can't understand anything he's saying but it's catchy and I like it.

EDIT: I also found some pretty good music by Aviators and Mandopony.

Last edited May 03, 2012 at 06:04PM EDT

Zarathh wrote:

Regarding the music, the first song sounds a lot like Nightwish. I like Nightwish.
Regarding the second song, I can't understand anything he's saying but it's catchy and I like it.

EDIT: I also found some pretty good music by Aviators and Mandopony.

Yeah, the comments said it was like Nightwish, and the people that made it were kind of aiming for that.

The reason you can't understand the second song is because it's in Russian. It's originally a song from Friendship is Witchcraft, which is a parody version of the show. Pinkie's a gypsy in it.

Explosive Lasers AKA Solaire AKA Sexiest wrote:

Yeah, the comments said it was like Nightwish, and the people that made it were kind of aiming for that.

The reason you can't understand the second song is because it's in Russian. It's originally a song from Friendship is Witchcraft, which is a parody version of the show. Pinkie's a gypsy in it.

I love Friendship is Witchcraft, I have that song on my Ipad. My favorite episode of it is Lunar Slander.

Skeletor-sm

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