Forums / Fun! / Just For Fun

Granted.

• The robot crab is an STI.
  • The laser eyes cause itching with the influence of the industrial revolution.
• Missiles are heat seeking
  • The first thing they seek is the heat from the friction of you scratching the Industrial Revolution.
• Chain guns are going off properly.
  • However, your fingers are scratching the Industrial Revolution, and the guns are following suit.
    • To your detriment. And to your kids' preemptive death.
• Giant pincers are no longer functional.
  • The sandwich dispenser happens to be a woman, and the woman takes offense to her role as a homemaker on an STI.
    • She makes use of the pincers to end the Industrial Revolution and to ensure abortion of any children you may have.

I wish for a basketball.

Done, but then a couple of guys who are up to no good start making trouble in your neighborhood. You get in one little fight and your mom gets scared and sends you off to live with your uncle in Bel-Air. You're killed on the way there in a freak taxicab accident.

I wish I had a sandwich.

Done, but the Heavy ate half of it, and the other half went bad when the fridge wasn't closed:

I wish I had an idea for something to wish for.

You get an idea! You want to wish for Muffinator to secure his rightful spot as Supreme Dictator of the world.

I wish I wasn't dead in the KYM Mafia game.

You get revived in the KYM Maffia Game, but to celebrate it, you are waaaaaaaaay too many muffins, causing you to become fat and unable to move for the rest of your life.

Wish granted. Muffinator gets killed in the KYM Mafia game again, so that means you get the spot. But then, just as you were about to claim your throne I came out of nowhere and used my stare to get to the throne. You got killed by my stare, one third of all of Earth's population are Weegees and/or a part of Weegonymous and ponies no longer dominate the internet.

I wish warcraftnerd never came to KYM.

Warcraftnerd is wiped from existence. But as always; another troll just like him simply takes his place.

I wish people would stop talking about Warcraftnerd since that was his ultimate goal from the beginning: to be remembered as KYM's worst troll…then again, it seems he already won.

GRANTED THEY START TALKING ABOUT CREEPYPASTA
i wish i had every pokemon card

You have every Pokémon card.

Including Missingno. So…yeah…

I wish I was Missingno.

You become Missingno, however you discover that it is not all that great. You don't get used by many trainers, you never win any battles and only the real hardcore poke-geeks seem to have any interest in you.

A very lonely Missingno are you

I wish for chocolate chip cookies

Granted, but they turn out to be transforming robots that eat you inside out
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I wish Cartoon Network Australia didnt suck as much as it does… fuckin take forevs to play new pokemon series… assholes…

It doesn't suck anymore, but they now use subliminal messages to make everyone give them all their money, so you end up as an addict, poor and alone on the streets.

Granted, but a Time Travelling Hipster stoped you… again.
I wish I could visit the universe of Rule 63.

You are taken into the gender-flipped world of Rule 63. Zelda is, in fact, a girl, and your why boners are even more why. You also begin to understand the discrimination towards women based solely upon their perceived gender, and you become confused as to how your attraction to a person is based solely upon their perceived nether regions and the existence of teh boobehs.

When you return, you become a radical feminist activist (nothing wrong with feminism, as I subscribe to it myself, but your extremism renders many of your arguments null,) and you are now sexually confused. Your get the Poor Health Outcome multiplier of x 2.5. You also get a feral monkey who likes clawing on your ear for no apparent reason.

I wish I had a cute monkeh.

You get it, but it brutally kills you.
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I wish to have an infinite money bag.

The bag gets stolen.

I wish for better flamethrowers

Granted, but the flamethrower burns you.
I wish for a force field.

Granted, but it blocks out oxygen. You suffocate.

I wish I could fly.

Granted, while flying, an airplane instantly kills you.
I wish I had immortality.

You get immortality, but it causes you to die.
Problem, reality?

Granted, but you have a debt of $1000000 from Games you didn't know are paid.

I wish to have a robot dog that won't excrete anything.

You now have a robot dog but it has rabies and it has a very bad habit of biting you.

I wish i had lazer beam eyes.

Here ya go ^^


Just a small note: he'll get killed as soon as you grow attached to him.

And then Root was Thomas Nair.

I wish I was the president of Antarctica.

Done, but then all of the penguins rebel and start a new socialist penguin government.

I wish I was a male model.

Yes you are a manwhore but at a terrible cost…you are now FRENANDO THE MALE MODEL MANWHORE!

I wish i could spit supa hot fire!

You being a Spy, catch yourself and your fellow Spies on fire, leaving Pyros like me to not even bother having to Spy Check.

I wish I had an old NES in working condition with all the Classic Megaman games in working condition.

You get them and they are working, but explode after playing 5 minutes.

Nice wish. I got the collection of NES games for that reason. Too bad it's on the Gamecube.

Unfortunately, you need time to play those games. And as you get older in school, you begin to focus more on getting into college by doing extracurriculars, actually trying to make sure you get good grades, and finding decent letters of recommendation for your applications. You get to college and realize that you need to put in some effort in studying and you begin to make friends with brains that you actually want to make relationships with instead of just passing the time with.

And after you get out of school, you're just working most of the time. You'll never have a lot of time to play through all of the games like you want without the constant threat of being interrupted by life.
 
*Speaking from experience.

Leaving that there for Pyro.

@Root

…It turns out that eyes can dry out. It's actually rather painful.

I wish I had the lack of responsibility I had when I was in high school for about a month.

Congratulations, you are now free! Unfortunately, you spend all your time screwing around on KYM. Who needs a social life anyways?

I wish this PC wasn't such a piece of s***.

It's piss instead. Happy?

I wish that all my work for today was done so I wouldn't be procrastinating by sitting here.

You're still procrastinating.

I wish I could play tf2 more

You are teleported into the TF2 universe where you are killed over and over again by Pyro.

I wish I could count to potato.

The number 3 is changed to "potato"

Computer systems around the world run into NaN errors and crash as a result. The entire economy collapses

I wish the music I listen to was easily found in stores so I don't have to suck up to iTunes.

Granted, but its 500 times more expensive than buying them on iTunes, also the audio sucks.

I wish for a Shin Cosplay (Hokuto Musou Version)

I have no idea who this Shin dude is, so I just search it on Google and leave this here…

I Wish I could understand the Touhou Project.

You get to understand it, but it's so weird that it destroys your sanity, and you are imprisoned for trying to murder every Japanese you meet.

Granted, but it crashes and breaks your console/computer.
I wish for a house that wouldn't get trespassed and destroyed.

It was the previous residency of a hoarder, and you get trapped between piles of half eaten cheetos bags, issues of Time magazine stacked 3 metres high, and a constantly squishy feeling with each step which may or may not have something to do with the fact that the previous owner kept about 5 dogs in here.

I wish, I wish, with all my heart, to fly with dragons, in a land apart.

You jump off a cliff and pretend you're flying with dragons. You fall to your death.

I wish that I had a fuck to give.

You try to give it to a little girl, and are promptly arrested for attempted sexual assault of a minor.

I wish the Electoral College exploded.

It explodes, but you were standing next to it to watch its destruction.

It's G3. Thanks a lot, f*cktard.

I wish that Chris Hansen didn't pop up at every CP thread on 4Chan.

He doesn't, but now 4Chan is renamed 5Chan and /b/ is twice as bad.

Shade, that's a bad thing to happen to /b/ how?

They all kill you on sight when you get there.

I wish I had enough money to make it rain, like Lil Wayne.

it rains acid.
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I wish For a black hole to appear

Tag CO Powers suck.

I wish I had a theme song.

It sucks and people hate all that is associated with it. Ergo, you.

I wish for another Shotgun that ISN'T for the Soldier as well.

You get your own shotgun. The tf2 community then proceeds to call it unfair and overpowered. Everyone hates you much more now, and medics refuse to heal you altogether.

I wish I had a new battery for my laptop.

You do now but the second you grab it it spits out battery acid and burns your hand.

I wish i could fly.