Forums / Fun! / Memeory Lane

Welcome sports fans to RRSN's coverage of no fap september. Where nerds try to prove their worth as human beings by pretending that masturbation is not an important part of their lives.

The average competitor is the type of person who never achieved very much in their life that other people cared about. They weren't good at sports, never had a large group of friends and preferred a mostly solitary lifestyle due to "social anxiety" a.k.a. "I don't know how to have a regular conversation with another human being because I am afraid of them". So basically the biggest pussies on the planet meet via the internet so they can be Olympians of denying biological urges. They have to meet online so they don't have to see the sad, dejected look on everyone's faces when they see the kind of person that participates in this activity.

Also the rules are still that "sex is allowed" which is good because of how many nerds feel bad about masturbating because they think they are too ugly, stinky or too much of a nice guy to get laid. And society has been pressing them like a vice with all these sexual image they see in the media and online, and they feel bad because they can't think for themselves and don't love themselves the way they are. Of course nerds can get laid just as easily as anyone else, it's just they would need to find someone who was as ugly and stinky as them with a similar sex drive. Ssh… don't tell them.

The other virtue in this awful activity is honesty. Which by all accounts is a legitimate thing to want in any competition. But it's kind of silly in an online community where everything is lies anyway. Why would coolfella55 be honest about his masturbatory habits (which are extremely personal things that no one needs to know about) when he isn't even honest about his own name and instead goes by an alias and has an anime woman as his visual representation of himself? Basically, the idea that the time to be honest when posting online is only that you said you wouldn't masturbate, then you did masturbate is inane.

Also there are the "villains" who add to the ecosystem of how pathetic this whole thing is. People who actively try to make people look at pornographic media and that they will masturbate to it. Actively looking at pictures and saying "yeah, this picture possesses the mystic qualities that will make the participant break down and masturbate. For a competitor to sign up for this treatment so they can look at a drawing of some boobs and not jack off (which is something the majority of people do without any trouble) is lunacy. Somehow that will make them "stronger" and "less of a loser if not only can they not jack off, they can look at porno and not jack off.

It was suggested that "Those who fail shall be shamed in a Riff-Raff thread dedicated to their collective failure." So this is the thread, for that due to fact the the "collective failure" is not the act of breaking No Fap September, but the act of participating in the first place.

Well, here I good!

Competitor #1, TheBrainJemin, aka, CrunchGunner!

I'm gonna fucking die.

this reads like a serial killer's diary.

These nights… I can't resist… the dreams… they… they are getting clearer…

i like this post a lot. all the emphasis and thought that got put into this post is great. It's like if mel gibson in braveheart was talking about keeping his hands off his pecker.

He talks of "preparing" for this event, so it must mean a lot to him. I guess he took last year's failure at a meaningless internet contest to heart. Also all his advice is essentially obvious information.

1. If you get horny think of something you don't find sexually attractive, obviously. I've heard the joke to "think about baseball" instead but this guy, as a heterosexual male who is not a gay, he thinks of giving someone else a handjob when he is horny because that disgusts him as a heterosexual who would never give a handjob to another man ever.

2. Don't look at porn, obviously. Porn was invented for you to be sexually stimulated. So if you look at it, it will try to do it's job.

3. Do something else, which is the most obvious advice of all. Because regular people aren't masturbating all the time, not because they are supreme masters of sexual urges, but because there are things they'd rather do then masturbate. Masturbation is not the issue, it has never been the issue. Nerds simply don't understand that it is untrue that they are unproductive because they masturbate, they masturbate because they are unproductive.

also the last paragraph is complete nonsense, but i think he's trying to say that you should cum so much before september so that when you get really horned up, you can drink the cum you have stored up from before.

NFS participants are braver than soldiers, and trutfully are superiour.

just by not touching their peepee they are completely able to fix every last mistake they have made in their pathetic lives (which is NOT caused by their own mistakes mind you, masturbation just made them like that)

some of us wish we could be as succesful in life as them

Protip: Whenever you get the urge to fap, just think of Blubber, and your dick will tear itself off in disgust and commit suicide in the nearest fireplace! It's foolproof!

i wish i could be as brave as them, openly announcing my masturbating schedule for the rest of the month

truly the voice of a whole generation

I look forward to seeing more from this guy.

I read this post and thought, "oh wow. two people are going to pretend to be pokemon who don't masturbate. which is weird because i don't think they ever mention pokemon masturbation in any of the official pokemon games or shows".

BUT

If i understand correctly (this person's brain has obviously been polluted by video games) "an NPC i control" means "a fictional character i made up". So one person will pretend to be two pokemon who will abstain from their regular poke-masturbation. Will they both win? will one win and one lose? will they both lose at the same time or different times? stay tuned!

This just in folks, a group calling themselves the "No Fap September Elite" (bolded and italicized to emphasize on their fiery hardcoreness) just popped up into the competition. It is likely that they'll put a whole new level of effort into not touching their dicks in such a way that it gives them the title of "elite".

Upon closer inspection, the three members are all familar faces from the roleplayer faction of KYM. As seen above, roleplayers seem to be attracted to this particular challenge, especially considering all of the intense roleplay opportunities.

With a flaming background, a militaristic logo, and badass anime avatars, I expect some no less than some heated competition from the No Fap September Elite, spicing up the thread with fitting and hardcore anime and JRPG OST.

Pssh. Not masturbating for a month is no challenge. Mormons do it all the time.

Normally, I'd be extremely upset and embarrassed that you found this, but hey; You guys are on Riff-Raff. You can act however you wish. I won't hold any grudges. ;)

dives through a window unnecessarily
FREEZE NO-FAPPER SCUM!!

I'm here looking NFSE members, tell me where they are so I can take them to Gay Baby Jail where they belong

I need to stop drinking so much…

Truly I have never felt more connected with my fellow memers than with my own dick.
What could've been a relatively boring challenge, it has turned into somewhat of a spiritual escape from the burdens of masturbation.
Instead of feeling helpless, we have fellow brethren that make inspiring messages to keep moving forward.

You're under arrest~

You'll never take me alive, bitch!

(Instant Transmissions away from this thread.)

dead works too

Here we are spotting a new development in the series: Roleplaying in this very thread.

These people inarguably take their fake roles on their fake meme accounts serious. However, upon closer inspection, there seems to be a link between the No Fap September Elite and this so called LEWD SQUAD.

Are we dealing with a snitch here, is someone double crossing? Whatever it is, I'm sure their parents are proud at their achievements in life. Find out more soon.

this guy gets it, fucking preach dude, not masturbating fucking fixes everything in your life

"clearer skin" dude, if you dont beat it you totally become part of the aryan master race

deeper appreciation of BEAUTY, you become a patron of the arts if you JUST STOP SHAKING YOUR WEINER

>meek mills will not make it trough this challenge

poor meek, after drake dissed him he was never the same.

"I get so much more sexual attention from women, I stopped jacking off and now my hamster wants to fuck me."

sweet jesus i'm popular now

These guys are desperate to prove how honest they are

Pros and Cons of NFS

Pros;

Epic erotic dreams where I'm a big titties whore with a gigantic veiny cock and i fuck so many hot sluts!!! I blow hot loads all over their sexy asses!!!

Cons:

I pissed myself in my bed, in real life.

One day in and it appears that fapping is an absolute necessity for a few users.

A moment of silence for our fallen brothers ;;;_;;;

In other news, Twisty/Early Man attempts to reason with a nofapper. The situation has yet to escalate, although it is hopefully unlikely to.

The Nofap administration recently released these promotional images in order to promote No Fap September.

Personally, they've almost convinced me to join myself.

ya'll being called out in the NFS2k15 forum.

This is genuinely the weirdest thing the internet does every year.

By calling out on us they're failing on their own advice of ignoring us. That's the best part.

Im ready for my daily dose of being laughed at!

The hole gets deeper still. And remember this is the 1st-2nd day it's barely begun. #hype

But this is like the most solemnester thing we could ever do as humans! Think about how many potential people we killed in our still short lifetimes! Certainly more than those people killed in abortion clinic bombings… 9 trillion divided by 2 multiplied by 365 multiplied by 8 is 1314000000000 potential people. And if you don't think that's tight shit, you can get the fuck out of my face.

You know I would say we are making fun of the rpers but they're kind of making fools of themselves

meta intensifies

Feels good to be part of the off-KYM RPer master race :^)

I'm conflicted. I'm taking part in NFS, but this thread (or at least the promotional image mocking) is actually pretty funny

Even his fellow RPer friends have thought that this was too honest.

Even his fellow RPer friends have thought that this was too honest.

I'm going to need a folder for this shit:

"Fucking weenies who can't even take a real challenge"

"Regular masturbators correlate to little sex so no masturbate=lotsa sex because someone on the internet said so"

No caption needed

Change thread to good ffffriggin nfs when?

@Monos89

Think what you want if it's funny laugh if it's not don't. Personally I have nothing against the challenge itself if you want to go nuts and I don't hate the people we're making fun of but if someone's being silly I will point it out quickly.

Silly Sam, not fapping is literally the hardest and most couragous thing to do.

Such fearless souls, truly an example of how amazing the internet is ;^(

It is being taken too seriously, but silliness is fun in its own way. At any rate, lurking both threads seems like a good laugh for now

lol I love that I got my thread post here. I never thought anyone would actually care about it. A lot of guys wanna do it for real, and I want to give support. Thank you guys for paying us so much attention ;D

Hello class, welcome to KYM101.

Today's lesson is Anatomy of a Riff-Raff Parody Thread

Step 1: Initiation

A parody thread begins it's life cycle when a user (perhaps a dashing canadian beer connoisseur) starts a thread parodying a forum thread someone else had made. They are doing it for the sweet, sweet karma that comes from pretending you are better than your fellow memesite users.

Step 2: Participation

Soon after Step 1 a couple of irc goons, who are so weak willed they must make fun of others for their strength and determination, start to post. They will find other comments and posts that are worth a few cheap upvotes (which are heroin for irc goons, they love karma).

Step 3: Propagation

Eventually one of the people involved in the parodied thread will catch wind of the parody thread (often because the thread will trend due to how it's for the lowest common denominator and not for ubermensch) and tell everyone else about it. Most will say "yeah, okay. let them do their thing and we'll do ours, this is just the internet, let's not take this as some sort of personal assault". But some be too strong to heed this warning…

Step 4: Retaliation

(See Fig. 1.1 above)

The strongest of the strong, not those with easily bruised egos, mind you, will strike back against the oppressive weakling jokers. They will always make the same argument (this user is using the ever popular tongue-in-cheek, "i'm actually above this sort of thing", kermit sipping the iced tea black people love, method) the argument is as follows:

"Hello users, I bet you think that what we are doing is very silly. I know this despite my crippling autism because I saw someone post the words "lol" so that indicates laughing out loud. Have you guys ever thought that making fun of someone online is actually just as silly? That following the activities of people you do not like is a silly thing to do? I bet you have not. I will let you all sit with this revelation I have given you. Winky face."

In this particular case, the Riff-Raff cretins who read threads and make posts on an internet forum (quick primer for those who don't know, internet forums were invented so you could read threads and make posts) are said to be as bad as people who think that girls are like bumblebees, and will smell the pollen of testosterone and fuck them regardless of their poor hygiene and lack of a personality. People that it was their frequent masturbatory habits that kept them from going slam-daddy on some bimbo. This is of course untrue, the people in Riff-Raff are worse, because they are sadists.

Step 5; I fucking own this fucking guy!!!!!

haha yeah what good bitch. get bodied you fuck.i wrote this long ass post owning your ass you fag. i had an interesting theme, and i stuck to it and it worked great. i'm gonna get like 80 upvotes and you'll get like 3 at most if i don't get my boys to downvote your shit like what. i'm a mod bitch i could ban you like [snaps fingers] that, bitch. you don't even know i run this shit. yo better back the fuck off or i'll get don to delete your fcking account. don't front. word is bond.

no this will not be called "good fffriggin" anything i'm so very tired of that title

Best watch out, the Fapcops are watching.

I should definitely start going to Riff-Raff more.

Well, it's nice to know that you guys are having fun this month.

Some people might be offended by your constant parodying of things that happen on this site, but I personally don't mind. Riff-Raff is where you're supposed to be a jerkass, so your behavior is completely justified. And besides, I don't want to have another (cough) incident, if you recall what happened to me before in Riff-Raff.

Overall, just keep doing what you're doing. I'll just watch you as I participate in the challenge. To be honest, despite your behavior, I think that you guys are Actually Pretty Funny. Your complete disregard for respecting others is hilarious!

Thank you for finally accepting our existence, now we can finally rest.

Fav part of the latest events is people being like "no one sent me lewds. they must be going through my laundry list of fetishes and they are gonna send me lots of hot pics" when in reality no one sent them pictures because no one cares about them.

No-Homo guy wrote:

In regards to Riff Raff, I personally never come to the forum so I don’t care if they’re laughing at us

Horny nerd #334 wrote:

Well they’re only making fun of a few of us….cough No Fap “Elite”..cough

Dude obsessed with huge dicks on girls wrote:

it appears that a lot of people in Riff-Raff, including a few mods, are having a hell of a time making fun of us.

RP dude wrote:

Rather than masturbating I just go and see Riff Raff pathetic thread about us. I replaced my boner for a rage boner, it feels good.

Another RP dude wrote:

Guys, do I lose if I stick a dildo up to my ass? Does it count as "masturbation"?

Someone who thinks no-masturbating-month is important wrote:

I was unaware of this thread’s existence. I have yet to fap at all within the past 24 hours. May I join in?

Da faq is a Riff Raff? In any case, let them laugh. People need something to laugh at, especially those who can’t challenge themselves.

Dude, you don't know how much I'm laughing right now. I mean, a bunch of horny 15 year olds on the internet, more specifically, on knowyourmeme, are sharing their "no masturbating" stories.

There is nothing more amazing than sharing stories with all your highschool friends about how you are able to not touch your dick for a month.

I'm pretty sure this will lead to an increase in male users giving each other their skype accounts to have "online sex". No homo.

^ I knew there was a reason Don wrote that brojob entry now of all times. What a thoughtful gesture during these hard days.