Overview

Komesarj Leaves the Incel Community refers to the reactions and backlash after Komesarj, a moderator for incels.is and looskmax.org, announced that he would be leaving the incel community in April 2023. Following Komesarj's announcement, Twitter user @lameypilled shared several screenshots of users, assumedly incels, criticizing Komesarj's decision, which subsequently went viral. According to Komesarj, the Twitter post is what caused backlash and many members of incels.is were happy with his decision to leave.

Background

Komesarj is a former moderator of incel.is, one of the top forums for discussions surrounding the involuntary celibate community. He is also a moderator at looksmax.org, another incel-heavy forum made to discuss looksmaxxing and lookism practices like bonesmashing and mewing. In his Twitter bio, he refers to himself as "the 'Lebron James' of incels."

On April 24th, 2023, @Komesarj announced on Twitter^[1] that he was leaving the community, writing, "I feel a lot of mixed feeling about leaving the incel community. While it feels good to no longer be incel. I'm going to miss all the friends and connections I've made. To all of you who have supported me over the years, thank you. I start a new chapter in my life, albeit late," garnering over 280 likes in two days (shown below). Komesarj also made a post announcing his departure on incels.is, but it was deleted after going viral according to DMs between Know Your Meme and Komesarj. It has been archived by the Wayback Machine.^[8]

Developments

Komesarj received some backlash from Twitters users the day he made his post. For example, on April 24th, 2023, Twitter^[2] user @AJ09269661 commented on the post, "It’s honestly disgusting that you betray your community when some chick finally settles for you." Komesarj responded, writing, "We’ll enjoy being a virgin for some weird cause. No one wants to be incel lol. We’re not Jedi (shown below).

On April 25th, 2023, Twitter^[3] user @lameypilled started a thread sharing several quote-tweets to Komesarj's post from users criticizing his decision to leave the community, writing, "🚨 BREAKING: The Incel community is having a nuclear meltdown because one of their leaders finally got laid," garnering over 85,500 likes in a day. The user updated the thread three more times that day with new screenshots, including images of Komesarj and AJ09269661's argument, Komesarj replying to other users dogpiling him and Komesarj claiming his girlfriend knows about his prior incel status (shown below).

Online Reactions

As @lameypilled's post went viral, Twitter users began quote-retweeting it with memes about Komesarj ascending from inceldom (examples shown below). That day, a thread was started on incel.is^[7] discussing his departure titled, "Why are some of ya'll mad that Komesarj ascended and left?" The OP criticizes people for giving Komesarj a hard time over leaving the community, writing, "He changed himself for the better and thus reaped the fruit of his labor. I understand that some of you are also trying to change for the better and I think that is great. I think their may be some hypocrisy caused by jealousy."

Komesarj also began defending himself against Twitter users posting at him about his decision. For example, on April 25th, 2023, he responded^[4] to a user who posted,^[5] "lmfao at this incel leader having to leave 'the community' after getting laid a single time," writing, "Stay in community BAD. Leave the community BAD. No winning for incelkind." On April 26th, he quote-retweeted^[6] a post sharing the alleged account of his girlfriend, writing, "Roasties seething at my enlightened and pure of heart gf" (examples shown below).

Interview With Komesarj

On April 26th, Know Your Meme spoke with Komesarj over DM to learn more about leaving the incel community and the backlash. Komesarj told us that he has been an incel for about four years and modded incel.is for one year, also running their Discord channel. During the exchange, Komesarj told us that the "dogpiling" only started after @lameypilled made her post and that the community at incels.is were happy for him:

There were three people who I didn't even know who said super weird things. She just turned it into a thread for clout. I’ve been in the community for years and never heard of these randoms. Most incels wished me very good luck. A bunch of people outside the community however found out and then started dogpiling.

He writes that he got into the community when he was ill for many years, leaving him "bedridden and mostly alone" (quoted below).

I was very ill for many years. Bedridden and mostly alone and before that I had no romantic luck. So being essentially homebound I reached out to a community where I could find people who understood my situation.

When asked why he left, he wrote that he "graduated" from the community, meaning he got a girlfriend. When asked his opinion on the incel community, he wrote:

It’s a mixed bag. Like everywhere. There are some good people, most are neutral, and some are bad. I tried to make friend with the good, and those people will be my friends for life. Many are suspicious of people who advocate for improving your life, cause they’re snake oil salesmen, but I hope saying that I made it can motivate some to do things to improve the idea. Society beats up on a lot of these guys and they lose motivation. They feel effort is not worth it.

Search Interest

External References