Advanced Search Protips

Greentext Stories Images

Browsing all 44,192 images

Sorted by: Newest Oldest Comments Favorites High Score Low Score Views

File: unamused.jpg (12 KB, 251x242) | Anonymous 10/28/21(Thu)16:44:52 No.865678759 >>865678852 >be me >coding a project at home >uses desktop >ffw about a week >go visit someone far away, stay for a few days >brings laptop to continue project >mfw forgot to git push at home Anonymous 10/28/21(Thu)16:48:58 No.865678852 File: 1628247134030.jpg (176 KB, 1024x958) >>865678931 >>865678759 (OP) >project on desktop >work on project totally offline >copy project onto USB stick >bring USB with me on vacation >work on project away from home without ever needing Internet access CEO of Bathroom

Greentext Stories
Uploaded by Reddit Moments

: Anonymous 10/28/21(Thu)06:38:15 No.865677854 Why are tattooed people scumbags, /b/? >at the beach >enjoying some chips at a takeaway shop >look across the street 133 KB JPG >good-looking woman in a bikini >erection intensifies >she turns around >tattoo on her shoulder >welp, there goes the erection Comment too long. Click here to view the full text. 30 Replies / 8 Images View Thread

Greentext Stories
Uploaded by Reddit Moments

: Anonymous 08/10/18(Fri)16:05:21 No.776783830 Interesting stories? >work as barista at club >19yo eurofag, drinking age 18 here >150 people, big majority are underaged >theres this pipe in the ceiling that's like 7- 8 feet off the ground in one corner, a 234 KB JPG manlet can reach it >14-16yo druggie delinquents dancing like apes >one of them accidentally hits pipe >pipe disconnects from wall, hits another kid in the head >same kid turns around and punches first guy behind him >fight erupts, more idiots join in >shitstorm.mp4 >20 kids f------ fist fighting for a good 5 minutes, music stops >at one point they stop and realize the pipe started the brawl >they tell DJ everything is OK >music starts again, party continues >all of them continue dancing like nothing happened >mfw witnessing all that happen from behind the bar f------ slav parties man

Greentext Stories
Uploaded by Reddit Moments

: Anonymous 10/29/21(Fri)00:05:29 No.865682999 >be me >see 2 flies on my wall >they broke into my home, where my family is. Unforgivable. >I draw my weapon >right beforeI go up to the wall me and my brother notice... >they're f------ >2 young flies, in each other's embrace, in love >tears stream down me and my brother's faces | 125 KB JPG >"do it..." >in one swift strike, they collapse unto my weapon >they're still holding each other, even in death them a quick, painless and unexpected >| gave death >this was the best way for them to die >may your souls find each other in fly heaven

Greentext Stories
Uploaded by Reddit Moments

: Anonymous (ID: VCWHFD/5 ) 10/28/21(Thu)21:13:59 No.42471031 >Finally graduate undergrad >Start lifting / cardio >Move in with frens, no longer alone >Get hired at comfy graduate student job >Interact with cute grill at work and frens at home 124 KB PNG >No longer have uncontrollable urge to fap 3 times a day Whats going on lads

Greentext Stories
Uploaded by Reddit Moments

: Anonymous 08/26/21(Thu)10:03:09 No.65138040 stay hydrated >exercise for the first time in five or six years >can't move this is a threat >actually can't move and it isn't a joke >pleadingly look at the people around the gym and squirm on the floor 624 КВ PNG >blood sugar is low >l faint >l wake up a half hour later in the same spot >barely get on my feet >stumble out of the gym

Greentext Stories
Uploaded by Reddit Moments

1x1ik8.jpg 1x1ik8.jpg (72 KB, 709x765) google yandex iqdb wait Anonymous 10/28/21(Thu)19:55:02 No.865711241 v > be in club > girl 'faints' on me > ask if she wants medical help > she walks away > female friend tells me that she was hitting on me Why do I have autism?

Greentext Stories
Uploaded by Reddit Moments

| Anonymous 08/26/21(Thu) 11:56:54 No.861816402 IMG 20210824_170741448~3.jpg 952 KB JPG >be me >go to river >pic related :D

Greentext Stories
Uploaded by Reddit Moments

: Anonymous 01/08/19(Tue)12:30:34 No.789444903 >be me 3 years ago >16 years old >Not many friends. >Feel alone as hell, see everyone partying and s--- and I'm sitting around at home. >Classmate at school talking about going out for a drive with friends. 38 KB JPG >Looks at me >"Hey anon! Your a funny dude, how about you join us" >Heart skips a beat, this is all I have ever wanted. >We go out eat some chipolte, go too Walmart and f--- around there. Buy like 15 king sized kit Kats for s---- n giggles. >Finally they dropped me off at home >l hate home, mom is terrible. >Obvious frown >Friendo looks at me "hey.. we'll see you around anon. You fit right in. >Smiled and nodded >Walked inside room and cried happiness cry.

Greentext Stories
Uploaded by Reddit Moments

Anonymous 10/28/21(Thu)02:27:26 No.65929564 File: 19BC6F56-D3CC-4C4C-ADCF-A(...).jpg (30 KB, 292x290) >>65929627 >>65929703 >>65931297 >>65931498 000O >>65924809 (OP) >be me. mentally ill virgin neet girl >dad decides to invite over old friend i used to crush on years ago because i "need more social interaction" >he comes over >we watch netflix >he attempts to touch my hand and thighs >dont know how to react and feel grossed out >never talked to him again after >could have had sex that day but avoided it because i liked a schizo boy online who ended up leaving the internet

Greentext Stories
Uploaded by Reddit Moments

Greentext Stories
Uploaded by Reddit Moments

File: Nervous pepe.jpg (7 KB, 231x218) Anonymous 03/12/17(Sun)15:57:54 No.35478083 >Playing air hockey with sister's friend. >She's pregnant >Accidentally knock the puck into her stomach >Joke that I used my secret baby killing technique >She has a miscarriage.

Greentext Stories
Uploaded by Reddit Moments

: Anonymous 10/26/21(Tue)09:35:15 No.16892248 Who /risktaker/ here? >making chicken stock >the chicken bones have been in the fridge for 4 days >get hungry while cooking >eat a 5 day old chicken parmy Be honest with me anons, will this stock give me l-be-s------- disease? Or do you guys take similar risks with 30 KB JPG your food?

Greentext Stories
Uploaded by Reddit Moments

Greentext Stories
Uploaded by Reddit Moments

Greentext Stories
Uploaded by Reddit Moments

Anonymous 1 hour ago Snape.png (188.5 KB, 1024x556) 135391818 >Potter, a moment of your time, please. >Someone has been stealing ingredients that could be used to make polyjuice potions. >l know, I know. "It wasn't me professor, I would never transform into a girl and masturbate to find out how it feels", I've heard this little song and dance before. >When I was your age I was the same. Did I ever tell you I stole your mother's hair regularly? I became quite adept at stealth and potions for this precise reason. To transform into your mother and pleasure myself. There is this mirror... or there was, at any rate, I can't seem to find it anymore, that showed you your fondest wish. I would transform into your mother, look into that mirror and watch myself make love to her while your father watched, helpless to change anything >Those were the best orgasms of my life, Potter >One day things went wrong, however >Before I could find my way to a safe spot, your father found me, and thinking me Lily proceeded to fondle me >lt felt good, Potter >Forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest > You know that polyjuice potion doesn't change your voice, of course. Yet James Potter never suspected a thing when I didn't speak. He smiled and said I was learning. >Oh I learned alright. I learned never to touch polyjuice potion again. Not because I feared such a thing would happen again, but because I feared I would want it to. That l'd seek it out. >Polyjuice potion and it's ingredients are restricted for a reason, Potter. The very recipe is not available to students. >Keep that in mind, won't you?

Greentext Stories
Uploaded by Reddit Moments

Anonymous 10/28/21(Thu)08:14:03 No.65930789 Am i stupid >Be me first post on 4chan >Always lurk on r/greentext >Whant to post funny greentext to >Wright funny story >fail captcha 6 times >every time I fial story gets deleted 53 KB PNG >dont know story anymore >mfw i finallt gets to post my s----- greentext >anons w-- i thought everybody on this site was retarded htf you get past the captscha? pic related

Greentext Stories
Uploaded by Reddit Moments

: Anonymous 10/28/21(Thu)01:40:06 No.65928027 >camping with my family as a little girl >bike around campground and stop at gazebo >teenage girls doing karaoke run by one old guy das it mane 26 KB JPG >sit down and stare at them >guy running karaoke asks if I want to sing >pick "Don't Worry Be Happy" >sing it in a full Jamaican accent >girls watch in silence >get on bike and go back to campsite afterwards in shame >>65928839 #

Greentext Stories
Uploaded by Reddit Moments

Sitting at home, alone in the house, i feel actually kind of peacefull, typing this up. I have already accepted my fate. I was diagnosed with cancer a week ago, and the doctors gave me 2 months to live, and right now i just really want to share the story of how i got 7 KB JPG cancer. So here it is. First, a bit of backstory. >Be me, 14 years old >Freshman year >On second day of school, make a friend who we will call Mike >Mike was a few years older than me >Get really close with mike >At the time, kissless virgin >Terrified with girls >Desperate for a girlfriend >Mike tells me that it's easy to talk to girls >Just don't be nervous and talk to one >lv'e always been too nervous to even approach a grill >One day, he literally pushes me infront a girl i like >"Hey this is anon." >Walks away >I panick, and she kind of giggles >We end up talking >Shes actually kind of nice >Me and female become friends Fastforward 2 years later >Me and female end up dating >Dating for a year and a half >We become known as the Lily and Marshal of my highschool >We do everything together >Mike is having a party at his house >Me and female go >l have a few drinks, but gf has alot more than i do >She gets some cigaretts and starts smoking with some guy >Drunkenly tries to make me smoke too >i try it, but have a coughing fit and don't do it again >She starts to get anoyed that i won't smoke with her >"Whatever" she says and walks off visually frustrated >Kept partying with Mike and make a few new friends. >Later, i can't find gf >Start asking around for her >One girl says she saw her go upstairs with >smoker guy Ohfuckno >Mike sees me run upstairs and follows me >Open a bedroom door and see her with her top off, making out with smokerfag >l'm stunned. Speachless >Mike grabs guy and throws him off the bed >Female starts crying and saying sorry >Runs over and hugs me Not gonna ask if i can continut because im not a Cont?c--- : Anonymous 07/27/15(Mon)23:25:05 No.630890540 Cont pleeease : Anonymous 07/27/15(Mon)23:27:19 No.630890983 >Few days later, feel an urge to smoke >Decide "what's the harm" >l end up having one maybe once a week. >Not 19 yet (legel smoking/drinking age in canada) so i have to bum them off of people >turns out female kept on talking and seeing eachother once in a while behind my back Long story short, female dumps me for smokefag >Start smoking to cope with it > I was in love with female, and i still am >l dont know how to deal this. She was my everything >i get super depressed >cry almost every night for 6 months >contemplate suicide >decide i dont want to live without female >decide to get super drunk and give myself alcohol poisoning. Just kind of, fade away peacefully > ive always told mike everything, but i didnt tell him how hurti was by female. > tell him i want to drink > mike lives alone now, so we do it at his house >get super drunk. I cant really remember any of what happened that night >aparently i passed out and he turned me on my side so i wouldnt choke on my own vomit >Wake up and see him sitting in a chair >start crying uncontrollably >tell mike what i tried to do Mike really helped me deal with all the pain, but my smoking habbit stayed >be me >2 weeks ago > lungs feel strange. Sharp pains when i take deep breaths > go to doctor to get it checked out >take some tests > few days later, i get a call from doctor >nervouse as f--- >turns out im completly fine > suicide attempt was a month ago >Still a little depressed, but not suicidal anymore > mike calls or texts me everyday to makesure in ok >one day, mike texts me a link of a funny picture to try and cheer me up >its a link to a picture on 9gag >9gag opens >get cancer

Greentext Stories
Uploaded by Reddit Moments

Legal Information: Know Your Meme ® is a trademark of Literally Media Ltd. By using this site, you are agreeing by the site's terms of use and privacy policy and DMCA policy.
© 2007-2024 Literally Media Ltd.