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Anon wants to be /fit/ | /r/Greentext

File: annoy pepe.png (130 KB, 360x360) Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)19:28:16 No.62666743 >>62666920 >>62668226 >>62668277 >>62668318 >>62668412 >>62668413 >>62668417 >>62668526 >>62669309 >Try to lose weight >mom cooks my favorite food >dad buys my favorite beer Isit even possible to lose weight if you don't live alone? O Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)19:41:11 No.62666883 Just eat a smaller portion and don't drink the beer
File: annoy pepe.png (130 KB, 360x360) Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)19:28:16 No.62666743 >>62666920 >>62668226 >>62668277 >>62668318 >>62668412 >>62668413 >>62668417 >>62668526 >>62669309 >Try to lose weight >mom cooks my favorite food >dad buys my favorite beer Isit even possible to lose weight if you don't live alone? O Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)19:41:11 No.62666883 Just eat a smaller portion and don't drink the beer

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Anon is sus | /r/Greentext


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Anon has intentions | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)00:09:11 No.64651866 GTA V has messed me up >Driving down freeway >Notice motorcyclist >Get behind him and start going full speed >Snap out of it a fair distance away from him 204 KB JPG >I think people saw me and knew of my intentions 2 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)00:09:11 No.64651866 GTA V has messed me up >Driving down freeway >Notice motorcyclist >Get behind him and start going full speed >Snap out of it a fair distance away from him 204 KB JPG >I think people saw me and knew of my intentions 2 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Chadanon goes to the grocery store | /r/Greentext

File: b3b9e29f70ae2b7451ece3dac6db55.jpg (43 KB, 513x600) O Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)00:25:30 No.859398128 >be me at the grocery store >ask the cashier why do they sell all of this stuff, I dont need it >leave without any explanation
File: b3b9e29f70ae2b7451ece3dac6db55.jpg (43 KB, 513x600) O Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)00:25:30 No.859398128 >be me at the grocery store >ask the cashier why do they sell all of this stuff, I dont need it >leave without any explanation

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Anon has a fetish | /r/Greentext


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Anon saves money | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/22/21(Thu)01:29:48 No.859414685 >be me, trying to lose virginity >go on escort site and see the prices >"I can't afford this" >cheapest w---- is $250 for 30 minutes 45 KB JPG >l get an idea >after some e-savvyness I find her socials >I contact her and we somehow hit it off >after weeks of talking we meet up for dinner at a restaurant >things go good so we head back to her place and things get steamy >l bust in 10 minutes and can't get it back up again so she disappointedly lets me spend the night >leave after taking a shower and never see her again and she blocks me >l get home and total up my expenses from courting this escort >$4.93 for data,$213.67 for dinner, $20 for uber totalling $238.60 >mfw when I saved $11 and still got to have sex with the escort
: Anonymous 07/22/21(Thu)01:29:48 No.859414685 >be me, trying to lose virginity >go on escort site and see the prices >"I can't afford this" >cheapest w---- is $250 for 30 minutes 45 KB JPG >l get an idea >after some e-savvyness I find her socials >I contact her and we somehow hit it off >after weeks of talking we meet up for dinner at a restaurant >things go good so we head back to her place and things get steamy >l bust in 10 minutes and can't get it back up again so she disappointedly lets me spend the night >leave after taking a shower and never see her again and she blocks me >l get home and total up my expenses from courting this escort >$4.93 for data,$213.67 for dinner, $20 for uber totalling $238.60 >mfw when I saved $11 and still got to have sex with the escort

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Lactose Intolerant | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)16:27:38 No.64646556 >go for a walk >walk into a store >get a carton of milk >go outside and open milk >walk around while drinking it >enjoying life >everyone starts looking at me >few people start laughing 76 KB JPG >keep drinking milk what the f--- is wrong with people can i not drink milk?
: Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)16:27:38 No.64646556 >go for a walk >walk into a store >get a carton of milk >go outside and open milk >walk around while drinking it >enjoying life >everyone starts looking at me >few people start laughing 76 KB JPG >keep drinking milk what the f--- is wrong with people can i not drink milk?

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Anon is a menace to society | /r/Greentext

File: ony.gif (1.06 MB, 200x200) Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)18:33:23 No.4617848 >>4617951 >>4617973 >SIR YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR YOUR MEAL!!! >SIR YOU CAN'T LEAVE WITHOUT PAYING >WHY?!?! BECAUSE.... YOU JUST CAN'T!!! IT'S A CRIME!!!! >YOUR BILL IS $158.91 SO PAY IT OR ELSE!!!! >SIR GET BACK HERE YOU CAN'T LEAVE YOU AREN'T ALLOWED TO LEAVE WITHOUT PAYING FOR THE MEAL WE WORKED SO HARD TO COOK FOR YOU!!!! >SIR YOU CANNOT STEAL TIPS OFF OTHER CUSTOMERS' TABLES GET BACK HERE!!!!!
File: ony.gif (1.06 MB, 200x200) Anonymous 06/30/21(Wed)18:33:23 No.4617848 >>4617951 >>4617973 >SIR YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR YOUR MEAL!!! >SIR YOU CAN'T LEAVE WITHOUT PAYING >WHY?!?! BECAUSE.... YOU JUST CAN'T!!! IT'S A CRIME!!!! >YOUR BILL IS $158.91 SO PAY IT OR ELSE!!!! >SIR GET BACK HERE YOU CAN'T LEAVE YOU AREN'T ALLOWED TO LEAVE WITHOUT PAYING FOR THE MEAL WE WORKED SO HARD TO COOK FOR YOU!!!! >SIR YOU CANNOT STEAL TIPS OFF OTHER CUSTOMERS' TABLES GET BACK HERE!!!!!

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Anon learns | /r/Greentext


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Anon gets depanted | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)20:28:00 No.859382879 >Be me,16 in highschool >Talking to girl at summer camp >Friend pants me and my underwear come down >girl runs away at sight of my d--- >considered suicide after that one 22 KB JPG
: Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)20:28:00 No.859382879 >Be me,16 in highschool >Talking to girl at summer camp >Friend pants me and my underwear come down >girl runs away at sight of my d--- >considered suicide after that one 22 KB JPG

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Anon has a drink gater | /r/Greentext

File: 20210720_235217.jpg (3.03 MB, 4128x3096) O Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)22:58:22 No.62669131 ► >62669210 >>62669280 >>62669329 >My GF got me a Drink Gater >Bring Drink Gater to the gym >Struggling to get my last rep in >See Drink Gater >Drink Gater reminds me of GF, smile and complete last rep Thanks, Drink Gater :)
File: 20210720_235217.jpg (3.03 MB, 4128x3096) O Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)22:58:22 No.62669131 ► >62669210 >>62669280 >>62669329 >My GF got me a Drink Gater >Bring Drink Gater to the gym >Struggling to get my last rep in >See Drink Gater >Drink Gater reminds me of GF, smile and complete last rep Thanks, Drink Gater :)

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Persona non grata | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)15:28:23 No.64646087 >gf gets kicked out from the pyramid scheme she was part of for not moving enough product >all those daily positivity posts about loving one's self and taking care of our bodies stop >mfw you realize none of those posts were genuine 300 КВ PNG >she never cared about those overweight single mothers she sold her products to >her whole online persona was fake Never trust women, anon.
: Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)15:28:23 No.64646087 >gf gets kicked out from the pyramid scheme she was part of for not moving enough product >all those daily positivity posts about loving one's self and taking care of our bodies stop >mfw you realize none of those posts were genuine 300 КВ PNG >she never cared about those overweight single mothers she sold her products to >her whole online persona was fake Never trust women, anon.

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Anon loves mosquitoes | /r/Greentext

#1, No. 64650595 7/20/21 9:24:03 PM 445-4455013_see-you-later-vir gins-pepe-png-download-see PNG 860x858 752.6 kB >be me >sleep naked with the window ioen because it's hot as f--- >wake up, ass hurts >find a mosquito bite on my ass cheek >tfw all mosquitos that drink blood are women >tfw I basically got my ass ate by s girl Later virgins.
#1, No. 64650595 7/20/21 9:24:03 PM 445-4455013_see-you-later-vir gins-pepe-png-download-see PNG 860x858 752.6 kB >be me >sleep naked with the window ioen because it's hot as f--- >wake up, ass hurts >find a mosquito bite on my ass cheek >tfw all mosquitos that drink blood are women >tfw I basically got my ass ate by s girl Later virgins.

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Anon is on godmode | /r/Greentext


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Anon has a funny name | /r/Greentext


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Anon is an Anarchist | /r/Greentext


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Anon becomes a ghost buster | /r/Greentext


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Foreigners Hate Anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)20:16:37 No.16426145 >be me >go to Italy >ask for macn cheese >they don't have it and laugh at me Has this s--- happened to anyone else? It's like foreign countries don't know how to make their own food. 10 KB JPG : Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)20:36:40 No.16426205 >>16426145 (OP) # (OP) That's because you didn't ask them in their own language. Next time, say "macron du fromage" >>16426226 #
: Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)20:16:37 No.16426145 >be me >go to Italy >ask for macn cheese >they don't have it and laugh at me Has this s--- happened to anyone else? It's like foreign countries don't know how to make their own food. 10 KB JPG : Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)20:36:40 No.16426205 >>16426145 (OP) # (OP) That's because you didn't ask them in their own language. Next time, say "macron du fromage" >>16426226 #

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Anon gets a mental coach | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)11:36:31 No.859348001 This is a short story about never trusting mental coaches >be me >nervous about upcoming presentation >speak to mental coach >'just imagine everyone in the room is naked for the lulz' >feel better equipped with this technique Presentation day arrives >ladies and gentlement please welcome Anon >applause >step up to the podium >look into the audience >just imagine everyone in the room is naked >instantbonerbulge.gif >get fired for sexual intimidation f------ mental coaches man
Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)11:36:31 No.859348001 This is a short story about never trusting mental coaches >be me >nervous about upcoming presentation >speak to mental coach >'just imagine everyone in the room is naked for the lulz' >feel better equipped with this technique Presentation day arrives >ladies and gentlement please welcome Anon >applause >step up to the podium >look into the audience >just imagine everyone in the room is naked >instantbonerbulge.gif >get fired for sexual intimidation f------ mental coaches man

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Anon asks a question | /r/Greentext

peaher.jpg (56 KB, 640x426) google iqdb Anonymous (ID: WNdy4bK5 ) 1 hour ago No.550424805 >>550425229 Teacher Stories: Ed >First day of high school >Have 8/10 female english teacher in her mid 20s >Says she wants us to get to know her >Asks each kid to write down a question for her and drop it in box >Don't need to sign name if you don't want >l write "Do you swallow?" >Drop paper in box >She opens box and starts answering questions >Gets to my scrap of paper >"Tm not going to read this one out loud. But the answer is yes." >buckets thinking about that for months Anonymous (ID: eXiSUst ) 1 hour ago No.550425229 >>550425453 >>550424805 (OP) 10/10
peaher.jpg (56 KB, 640x426) google iqdb Anonymous (ID: WNdy4bK5 ) 1 hour ago No.550424805 >>550425229 Teacher Stories: Ed >First day of high school >Have 8/10 female english teacher in her mid 20s >Says she wants us to get to know her >Asks each kid to write down a question for her and drop it in box >Don't need to sign name if you don't want >l write "Do you swallow?" >Drop paper in box >She opens box and starts answering questions >Gets to my scrap of paper >"Tm not going to read this one out loud. But the answer is yes." >buckets thinking about that for months Anonymous (ID: eXiSUst ) 1 hour ago No.550425229 >>550425453 >>550424805 (OP) 10/10

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