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Owen Carry

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Philipp Kachalin

Philipp Kachalin • 8 months ago

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Greentext Stories - Images (46,677 results)

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semen demon wants the D | /r/Greentext

File: 1359320914256.png-(848 KB, 589x590, cap1.png) GO Anonymous 01/27/13(Sun)13:08:34 UTC-8 No.17321605 Replies: >>>17321783 Hey anon you sure look strong, why don't you give me the D? Replies: >>17321783 Anonymous 01/27/13(Sun)13:09:09 UTC-8 No. 17321618 File: 1359320949936.png-(323 KB, 421x476, cap2.png) GI Icmon anon give it to me Anonymous 01/27/13(Sun)13:09:54 UTC-8 No. 17321642 File: 1359320994800.png-(242 KB, 536x562, cap3.png) Anonymous 01/27/13(Sun)13:10:42 UTC-8 No. 17321663 File: 1359321042757.png-(112 KB, 630x570, cap4.png) anon give me the f------ D Replies: >>17321783 G Anonymous 01/27/13(Sun)13:10:45 UTC-8 No. 17321664 Replies: >>17321724 File: 1359321045938.jpg-(69 KB, 525x633, not sure_about_this_feel.jpg) G Anonymous 01/27/13(Sun)13:11:32 UTC-8 No. 17321687 File: 1359321092047.png-(60 KB, 665x577, cap5.png) G the D Replies: >>17321783 G
File: 1359320914256.png-(848 KB, 589x590, cap1.png) GO Anonymous 01/27/13(Sun)13:08:34 UTC-8 No.17321605 Replies: >>>17321783 Hey anon you sure look strong, why don't you give me the D? Replies: >>17321783 Anonymous 01/27/13(Sun)13:09:09 UTC-8 No. 17321618 File: 1359320949936.png-(323 KB, 421x476, cap2.png) GI Icmon anon give it to me Anonymous 01/27/13(Sun)13:09:54 UTC-8 No. 17321642 File: 1359320994800.png-(242 KB, 536x562, cap3.png) Anonymous 01/27/13(Sun)13:10:42 UTC-8 No. 17321663 File: 1359321042757.png-(112 KB, 630x570, cap4.png) anon give me the f------ D Replies: >>17321783 G Anonymous 01/27/13(Sun)13:10:45 UTC-8 No. 17321664 Replies: >>17321724 File: 1359321045938.jpg-(69 KB, 525x633, not sure_about_this_feel.jpg) G Anonymous 01/27/13(Sun)13:11:32 UTC-8 No. 17321687 File: 1359321092047.png-(60 KB, 665x577, cap5.png) G the D Replies: >>17321783 G

Greentext Stories

Anon goes on a tangent | /r/Greentext

- File: 1742413504656316m.jpg (65 KB, 1024x576) COREY HARRISON BREAKING NEWS Anonymous 06/30/25(Mon) 14:37:44 No.936454236 [Reply] >>936454329 >>936454387 >>936454822 >>936455912 Heaven gained an angle today. -Showing all replies. Anonymous 06/30/25(Mon) 14:39:11 No.936454259 >>936454329 File: 1723157154867314.png (40 KB, 346x258) tez, M A father should never have to berry his sine
- File: 1742413504656316m.jpg (65 KB, 1024x576) COREY HARRISON BREAKING NEWS Anonymous 06/30/25(Mon) 14:37:44 No.936454236 [Reply] >>936454329 >>936454387 >>936454822 >>936455912 Heaven gained an angle today. -Showing all replies. Anonymous 06/30/25(Mon) 14:39:11 No.936454259 >>936454329 File: 1723157154867314.png (40 KB, 346x258) tez, M A father should never have to berry his sine

Greentext Stories

Anon gets haunted by Velma | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/01/17 (Mon)11:05:37 No.18955485 218955500 >>18955756 >>18955859 File: 13454628398.png (57 KB, 315x289) not exactly spooky but definitely cursed, and pretty disgusting >be 5 or 6 >lucid dream for the first time >lucid dream quickly turns into wet dream >little babby ass mind has no idea how sex actually works Screate all members of the scooby doo gang >all of them including the men had p------ >create giant machines to suck the pee and the poop out of them >mystery inc is screaming and crying agony >insanely f------ aroused for some ungodly reason >all members get melted into this weird goo mixed with their piss/feces >somehow trigger sleep paralysis >wake up to ghost of velma dinkley hovering over my body >im terrified but aroused >lay like this keeping eye contact with my hallucination for what feels like hours because scared if i move it will murder me >end >always reminded of this experience every time I see anything scooby doo related Anonymous 05/01/17(Mon)11:12:34 No.18955500 >>18955485 That probably has to be the most f----- up, and terrifying dream I've ever heard of and at the same time it's the most hilarious thing I've ever read on /x/. Goddamnit, anon, you glorious bastard. Anonymous 05/01/17 (Mon) 13:24:01 No.18955756 >>18955855 >>18955862 >>18955485 Velma ghost isn't that threatening. She like a t-rex, don't move and she can't see you (haha wer muh glasses) Anonymous 05/01/17 (Mon)14:29:47 No.18955855 >>18955756 it's that what velma was scary, it's that she was grey and white kinda like char and ash and she had no eyes behind her glasses Anonymous 05/01/17 (Mon)14:31:55 No.18955859 >>18955485 >im terrified but aroused this is the best case, the last thing a spoop is expecting is you r----- it
Anonymous 05/01/17 (Mon)11:05:37 No.18955485 218955500 >>18955756 >>18955859 File: 13454628398.png (57 KB, 315x289) not exactly spooky but definitely cursed, and pretty disgusting >be 5 or 6 >lucid dream for the first time >lucid dream quickly turns into wet dream >little babby ass mind has no idea how sex actually works Screate all members of the scooby doo gang >all of them including the men had p------ >create giant machines to suck the pee and the poop out of them >mystery inc is screaming and crying agony >insanely f------ aroused for some ungodly reason >all members get melted into this weird goo mixed with their piss/feces >somehow trigger sleep paralysis >wake up to ghost of velma dinkley hovering over my body >im terrified but aroused >lay like this keeping eye contact with my hallucination for what feels like hours because scared if i move it will murder me >end >always reminded of this experience every time I see anything scooby doo related Anonymous 05/01/17(Mon)11:12:34 No.18955500 >>18955485 That probably has to be the most f----- up, and terrifying dream I've ever heard of and at the same time it's the most hilarious thing I've ever read on /x/. Goddamnit, anon, you glorious bastard. Anonymous 05/01/17 (Mon) 13:24:01 No.18955756 >>18955855 >>18955862 >>18955485 Velma ghost isn't that threatening. She like a t-rex, don't move and she can't see you (haha wer muh glasses) Anonymous 05/01/17 (Mon)14:29:47 No.18955855 >>18955756 it's that what velma was scary, it's that she was grey and white kinda like char and ash and she had no eyes behind her glasses Anonymous 05/01/17 (Mon)14:31:55 No.18955859 >>18955485 >im terrified but aroused this is the best case, the last thing a spoop is expecting is you r----- it

Greentext Stories

Anon encounters a Phantom Kangaroo | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/08/18(Fri)19:16:00 No.20901726 has anyone here encountered a phantom kangaroo? Anonymous 06/08/18(Fri)19:58:03 No.20901863 >be me >drinking beer in the bush alone at night >feel a presence next to me >"oi white c---" >turn to see aboriginal spirit phantom kangaroo >>20901948 >"give us a tinnie ay or I'll have those f------ shoes of yours" >vanishes right in front of me >nope.jpg outta there
Anonymous 06/08/18(Fri)19:16:00 No.20901726 has anyone here encountered a phantom kangaroo? Anonymous 06/08/18(Fri)19:58:03 No.20901863 >be me >drinking beer in the bush alone at night >feel a presence next to me >"oi white c---" >turn to see aboriginal spirit phantom kangaroo >>20901948 >"give us a tinnie ay or I'll have those f------ shoes of yours" >vanishes right in front of me >nope.jpg outta there

Greentext Stories

Anon Likes Jonathan Blow | /r/Greentext

File: 55a5842d5b44110fad7da1e72(...).jpg (159 KB, 540x690) ☐ Anonymous 06/09/25(Mon)19:14:49 No.712106645 ►>>712110145 >>712111074 >>712119076 File: 330ba7e740c116719cbeebca9(...).png (7 KB, 720x720) Jai ☐ Anonymous 06/09/25(Mon) 18:01:12 No. 712102362 >>712102448 >>712105751 >>712105938 >>712106017 >>712106220 >>712106371 >>712106419 >>712106609 >>712107051 >>712107154 >>712112760 >>712112815 >>712113260 >>712115673 >Jonathan Blow was frustrated with the weak reception to the launch, saying Braid Anniversary Edition "sold like dogshit" and that Thekla could not afford to pay any of its employees. Why didn't you buy his game? He's broke now ☐ Anonymous 06/09/25(Mon) 18:02:58 No.712102467 ►>>712102826 >>712106645 this lazy f--- should have made a new game instead ☐ Anonymous 06/09/25(Mon) 18:04:46 No.712102584 ► That game wasn't any better than a average newgrounds flash game on its launch, why the f--- would I buy it in 2025 for any price when I can just launch flashpoint x. ☐ Anonymous 06/09/25(Mon) 19:03:05 No. 712105994 File: 1747758196200697.png (236 KB, 680x847) IT'S BLOWVER this game stupid as hell mayne >>712102467 He's apparently working on a new programming language, because C++ is too hard. ☐ Anonymous 06/09/25(Mon) 19:22:30 No. 712107051 ► >>712102362 (OP) I did buy his game, back in 2008. Anonymous 06/09/25(Mon) 19:24:29 No. 712107154 ► >>712102362 (OP). Why hasn't he released a new game in 9 years ☐ Anonymous 06/09/25(Mon)20:20:06 No. 712110145 ►>>712119176 >>712106645 In 2025 c++ still can't stringify enums ☐ Anonymous 06/09/25(Mon)20:35:31 No. 712111074 ► >>712106645 More like C++ is too retarded and only gets more retarded which each committee change. Frankly his programming language views are way more palatable than his game dev ones. Couldn't care less about his games but his programming hot- takes are refreshing in contrast. >> ☐ Anonymous 06/09/25(Mon)21:12:49 No. 712113260 >>712113773 >>712115136 >>712102362 (OP). Is this the guy who was quaking like a leaf onstage holding some kind of weird puppet >> Anonymous 06/09/25(Mon)21:42:15 No.712115136 >>712113260 No, that's Schafer. ☐ Anonymous 06/09/25(Mon)22:44:33 No.712119076 >>712106645 >Not just using C NGMI
File: 55a5842d5b44110fad7da1e72(...).jpg (159 KB, 540x690) ☐ Anonymous 06/09/25(Mon)19:14:49 No.712106645 ►>>712110145 >>712111074 >>712119076 File: 330ba7e740c116719cbeebca9(...).png (7 KB, 720x720) Jai ☐ Anonymous 06/09/25(Mon) 18:01:12 No. 712102362 >>712102448 >>712105751 >>712105938 >>712106017 >>712106220 >>712106371 >>712106419 >>712106609 >>712107051 >>712107154 >>712112760 >>712112815 >>712113260 >>712115673 >Jonathan Blow was frustrated with the weak reception to the launch, saying Braid Anniversary Edition "sold like dogshit" and that Thekla could not afford to pay any of its employees. Why didn't you buy his game? He's broke now ☐ Anonymous 06/09/25(Mon) 18:02:58 No.712102467 ►>>712102826 >>712106645 this lazy f--- should have made a new game instead ☐ Anonymous 06/09/25(Mon) 18:04:46 No.712102584 ► That game wasn't any better than a average newgrounds flash game on its launch, why the f--- would I buy it in 2025 for any price when I can just launch flashpoint x. ☐ Anonymous 06/09/25(Mon) 19:03:05 No. 712105994 File: 1747758196200697.png (236 KB, 680x847) IT'S BLOWVER this game stupid as hell mayne >>712102467 He's apparently working on a new programming language, because C++ is too hard. ☐ Anonymous 06/09/25(Mon) 19:22:30 No. 712107051 ► >>712102362 (OP) I did buy his game, back in 2008. Anonymous 06/09/25(Mon) 19:24:29 No. 712107154 ► >>712102362 (OP). Why hasn't he released a new game in 9 years ☐ Anonymous 06/09/25(Mon)20:20:06 No. 712110145 ►>>712119176 >>712106645 In 2025 c++ still can't stringify enums ☐ Anonymous 06/09/25(Mon)20:35:31 No. 712111074 ► >>712106645 More like C++ is too retarded and only gets more retarded which each committee change. Frankly his programming language views are way more palatable than his game dev ones. Couldn't care less about his games but his programming hot- takes are refreshing in contrast. >> ☐ Anonymous 06/09/25(Mon)21:12:49 No. 712113260 >>712113773 >>712115136 >>712102362 (OP). Is this the guy who was quaking like a leaf onstage holding some kind of weird puppet >> Anonymous 06/09/25(Mon)21:42:15 No.712115136 >>712113260 No, that's Schafer. ☐ Anonymous 06/09/25(Mon)22:44:33 No.712119076 >>712106645 >Not just using C NGMI

Greentext Stories

Anon deserves a Nopebel Prize | /r/Greentext

>be me >be noping about like nope-bodies business >notice nothing >NOPE NOPE NOPE >I noped out of there like a knee high narwhal >later that night, i tell myself nope a few times as i drift away > wake up and NOPE is written on my wall >oh nayith! >turns out the gnomeps were on nope patrol last night, noping to worry about.
>be me >be noping about like nope-bodies business >notice nothing >NOPE NOPE NOPE >I noped out of there like a knee high narwhal >later that night, i tell myself nope a few times as i drift away > wake up and NOPE is written on my wall >oh nayith! >turns out the gnomeps were on nope patrol last night, noping to worry about.

Greentext Stories

Anon is Guy Fieri | /r/Greentext

anthony bourdain guy fieri.jpg (139 KB, 1024x1024) google yandex iqdb wait Anonymous 06/30/25(Mon)04:21:33 No.21437218 >be guy fieri >2007 >driving to food network studios >feel rumbling down below >no time, must stop somewhere >pull up to this funky little joint >go to bathroom >take violent s--- >dinersdriveinsanddiarrhea.mp4 >surprised there were no air raid sirens >leave restroom, sit down and order some grub >h-------- this is lights out >it's funky fresh fantastic >these dudes are culinary gangsters >they kick me out because of the smell >get idea to make show where i do this every week >violent s---- are always edited out >mfw
anthony bourdain guy fieri.jpg (139 KB, 1024x1024) google yandex iqdb wait Anonymous 06/30/25(Mon)04:21:33 No.21437218 >be guy fieri >2007 >driving to food network studios >feel rumbling down below >no time, must stop somewhere >pull up to this funky little joint >go to bathroom >take violent s--- >dinersdriveinsanddiarrhea.mp4 >surprised there were no air raid sirens >leave restroom, sit down and order some grub >h-------- this is lights out >it's funky fresh fantastic >these dudes are culinary gangsters >they kick me out because of the smell >get idea to make show where i do this every week >violent s---- are always edited out >mfw

Greentext Stories

It's all so tiresome | /r/Greentext

: 1472256280887.jpg (37 KB, 400x386) Its all so f------ tiresome I am so f------ tired bros Anonymous (ID: KIS2QfMD) [+] >>509093608 >>509093618 >>509094397 >>509094465 >>509094697 >>50 >>509098176 >>509099396 >>509100588 >>509101320 >>509104224 >>50 I have >n----- fatigue >jeet fatigue >lgbtqia+++ fatigue >idiot coworker fatigue >guilt tripping boomer parents fatigue >selfish wife fatigue >neighbor fatigue >social fatigue >brown people fatigue >idiot leftists fatigue >woman fatigue Anonymous (ID: epljc5pg) 06/30/25(Mon)06:05:20 No.509093113 >>509103400 >>509093069 (OP). Join the club
: 1472256280887.jpg (37 KB, 400x386) Its all so f------ tiresome I am so f------ tired bros Anonymous (ID: KIS2QfMD) [+] >>509093608 >>509093618 >>509094397 >>509094465 >>509094697 >>50 >>509098176 >>509099396 >>509100588 >>509101320 >>509104224 >>50 I have >n----- fatigue >jeet fatigue >lgbtqia+++ fatigue >idiot coworker fatigue >guilt tripping boomer parents fatigue >selfish wife fatigue >neighbor fatigue >social fatigue >brown people fatigue >idiot leftists fatigue >woman fatigue Anonymous (ID: epljc5pg) 06/30/25(Mon)06:05:20 No.509093113 >>509103400 >>509093069 (OP). Join the club

Greentext Stories

Cool cow facts for friends | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/22/21(Mon)11:40:59 No.66255363 >Does anyone else think cows are cool? >Give me some interesting cow facts, fellow tards 90 KB JPG : Anonymous >>66255363 (OP) # 11/22/21(Mon)11:42:30 No.66255372 Cows have best friends and they get sad if they dont see them or get to talk to them : Anonymous >>66255363 (OP) # pros: >cows are nice to pet 11/22/21(Mon)11:45:31 No.66255387 >they have big eyes >love being brushed cons: >they s--- liquid >if they moo near you you basically go deaf >their breath reeks to high hell >they always stampede towards me >has 537 mosquitoes surrounding their eyes at all time >can and will kill me if they wanted to they can also sleep while standing : Anonymous 11/22/21(Mon) 11:49:00 No.66255405 Cows are very curious animals but also very timid. If you go into a field of cows, they may swarm over to investigate you, which can be frightening because they're large powerful animals, but if you shout and wave a stick they will run away. >66255525 #
: Anonymous 11/22/21(Mon)11:40:59 No.66255363 >Does anyone else think cows are cool? >Give me some interesting cow facts, fellow tards 90 KB JPG : Anonymous >>66255363 (OP) # 11/22/21(Mon)11:42:30 No.66255372 Cows have best friends and they get sad if they dont see them or get to talk to them : Anonymous >>66255363 (OP) # pros: >cows are nice to pet 11/22/21(Mon)11:45:31 No.66255387 >they have big eyes >love being brushed cons: >they s--- liquid >if they moo near you you basically go deaf >their breath reeks to high hell >they always stampede towards me >has 537 mosquitoes surrounding their eyes at all time >can and will kill me if they wanted to they can also sleep while standing : Anonymous 11/22/21(Mon) 11:49:00 No.66255405 Cows are very curious animals but also very timid. If you go into a field of cows, they may swarm over to investigate you, which can be frightening because they're large powerful animals, but if you shout and wave a stick they will run away. >66255525 #

Greentext Stories

Soldiers of the emperor | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/30/25(Mon)01:56:48 No.81664803 ITS CALLED AURA BRUH dude you need to get the f--- out of my house you smell like pure unfettered ass GV1hhk6WAAAfS_7.png 1.44 MB PNG INAQARU >be me >used to play warhammer >stoped playing because I have too many hobbies and its too expensive >steam sale comes and space marine 2 is on the front page >watch the trailer videos and get the urge to get back into 40k >check my local game store I used to go to >owner got arrested for paying an 18 year old for sex with coke and other drugs >what the f--- Now that I think about it its not that surprising he was a fat balding Jewish guy whos discord pfp was a Pepe also literally everything at that store was under market price somehow? Real weird looking back on it
Anonymous 06/30/25(Mon)01:56:48 No.81664803 ITS CALLED AURA BRUH dude you need to get the f--- out of my house you smell like pure unfettered ass GV1hhk6WAAAfS_7.png 1.44 MB PNG INAQARU >be me >used to play warhammer >stoped playing because I have too many hobbies and its too expensive >steam sale comes and space marine 2 is on the front page >watch the trailer videos and get the urge to get back into 40k >check my local game store I used to go to >owner got arrested for paying an 18 year old for sex with coke and other drugs >what the f--- Now that I think about it its not that surprising he was a fat balding Jewish guy whos discord pfp was a Pepe also literally everything at that store was under market price somehow? Real weird looking back on it

Greentext Stories

Anon gives advice | /r/Greentext

Anonymous >19 12/30/21(Thu)10:10:54 No.66776022 >never had a friend >never been in a relationship >never kissed a girl >never had sex >cant drive 77 KB JPG >never had a real job Its too late for me. I cant fix myself 7 Replies Anonymous >>66776022 (OP) # View Thread 12/30/21(Thu)10:19:25 No.66776104 You're 19 your life has just begun and youre already giving up. Have you tried not being a pathetic bitch? If not I hear it helps.
Anonymous >19 12/30/21(Thu)10:10:54 No.66776022 >never had a friend >never been in a relationship >never kissed a girl >never had sex >cant drive 77 KB JPG >never had a real job Its too late for me. I cant fix myself 7 Replies Anonymous >>66776022 (OP) # View Thread 12/30/21(Thu)10:19:25 No.66776104 You're 19 your life has just begun and youre already giving up. Have you tried not being a pathetic bitch? If not I hear it helps.

Greentext Stories

The Man Upstairs | /r/Greentext

Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect ▼ Settings Mobile Home Anonymous (ID: 28PAh03L) 06/30/25(Mon)03:59:53 No.509092814 Birmingham Live B Man who built house instead of garage finally relents after six-year battle Birmingham Live 83K views • 1 month ago image_2025-06-30_035739368.png 284 KB PNG KING REE 1:04 >Housing shortage >Government does f--- all >Build your own house >Government does everything they can to stop you Why are they so good at doing the things nobody ever asked them to do? Why does bureaucracy work like that?
Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect ▼ Settings Mobile Home Anonymous (ID: 28PAh03L) 06/30/25(Mon)03:59:53 No.509092814 Birmingham Live B Man who built house instead of garage finally relents after six-year battle Birmingham Live 83K views • 1 month ago image_2025-06-30_035739368.png 284 KB PNG KING REE 1:04 >Housing shortage >Government does f--- all >Build your own house >Government does everything they can to stop you Why are they so good at doing the things nobody ever asked them to do? Why does bureaucracy work like that?

Greentext Stories

anon has an existential crisis | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/29/25(Sun)17:52:40 No.81661072 >work image.jpg 3 KB JPG >sleep >repeat for 50 years >sit and do f--- all while your body is useless for its last 10 years (but at least you don't have to work) >die Why do people do this? : Anonymous >>81661072 (OP) # Rache you clog your toilet too. this can't be my life. 06/29/25(Sun)17:53:49 No.81661086
: Anonymous 06/29/25(Sun)17:52:40 No.81661072 >work image.jpg 3 KB JPG >sleep >repeat for 50 years >sit and do f--- all while your body is useless for its last 10 years (but at least you don't have to work) >die Why do people do this? : Anonymous >>81661072 (OP) # Rache you clog your toilet too. this can't be my life. 06/29/25(Sun)17:53:49 No.81661086

Greentext Stories

anon doesn't wanna be a wizard | /r/Greentext

: Negative SMV Day 1 of hitting on girls 06/29/25(Sun)17:18:08 No.81660747 SEPHORA Beauty STUDIO NEWand TRENDING NEWandTRENDING SEPHORA COLLECTION IMG_2679.jpg 1.68 MB JPG NEWandTRE SEPHORA FAVORITES NEWand TREN HUDA BEAUT >be me >27 khv (kissless handholdless virgin) >decide to stop being one and do something >plan: hit on one girl in public every day for a year >also undergoing full looksmaxx protocol >jaw still looks like a soggy biscuit >went to local mall armed with cologne and misplaced confidence >see 7/10 girl near Sephora >rehearsed opener 42 times in mirror last night: >"Hey, I thought you looked cool, what's your name?" >heart pounding like I'm about to defuse a bomb walk up to her >voice cracks so hard a nearby dog flinches >she says "sorry I have a boyfriend" without even looking up from her phone >blackpill kicks in like fentanyl >remember I'm wearing elevator shoes 3 inches >they squeak when I turn around to leave >hear faint giggle behind me >tfw 364 days left Anonymous 06/29/25(Sun)17:19:56 No.81660766 Brutal Imao, I could never subject myself to such humiliation. I think I'd rather stay incel for life >>81660795 # : Anonymous >>81660766 # 06/29/25(Sun)17:23:19 No.81660795 I've committed to trying for at least a year, might as well try before I turn 30.
: Negative SMV Day 1 of hitting on girls 06/29/25(Sun)17:18:08 No.81660747 SEPHORA Beauty STUDIO NEWand TRENDING NEWandTRENDING SEPHORA COLLECTION IMG_2679.jpg 1.68 MB JPG NEWandTRE SEPHORA FAVORITES NEWand TREN HUDA BEAUT >be me >27 khv (kissless handholdless virgin) >decide to stop being one and do something >plan: hit on one girl in public every day for a year >also undergoing full looksmaxx protocol >jaw still looks like a soggy biscuit >went to local mall armed with cologne and misplaced confidence >see 7/10 girl near Sephora >rehearsed opener 42 times in mirror last night: >"Hey, I thought you looked cool, what's your name?" >heart pounding like I'm about to defuse a bomb walk up to her >voice cracks so hard a nearby dog flinches >she says "sorry I have a boyfriend" without even looking up from her phone >blackpill kicks in like fentanyl >remember I'm wearing elevator shoes 3 inches >they squeak when I turn around to leave >hear faint giggle behind me >tfw 364 days left Anonymous 06/29/25(Sun)17:19:56 No.81660766 Brutal Imao, I could never subject myself to such humiliation. I think I'd rather stay incel for life >>81660795 # : Anonymous >>81660766 # 06/29/25(Sun)17:23:19 No.81660795 I've committed to trying for at least a year, might as well try before I turn 30.

Greentext Stories

A broken melody | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 1.99 MB PNG 06/29/25(Sun)21:16:17 No.81658654 >talking to a female >I like her >I show her my favorite song >she doesn't like it Onto the next one bros
: Anonymous 1.99 MB PNG 06/29/25(Sun)21:16:17 No.81658654 >talking to a female >I like her >I show her my favorite song >she doesn't like it Onto the next one bros

Greentext Stories

Anon has undiagnosed heart condition | /r/Greentext

ܩܘ 8:45 5G63 Anonymous 24 KB PNG 06/29/25(Sun)07:50:20 No.76317730 >Be 280lb fat guy >Turn 26 and realize I spent half of my best decade as couch potato >Try to lift on and off over years but can never keep routine due to ADHD and Autism >Suddenly get desire to not be fat >Stop eating any kind of candy, ice cream, or potato chip >Do pushups every morning >On first day my pecs fail and hurt after 3 pushups >Just keep doing sets of 5 over and over whenever the pain isn't too bad >Do sets of 100 foot jogs because that's as far as I can go before my heart hurts literally just 8 days later >Can now do sets of 10 pushups easily and max set is 15 >Can now jog quarter mile without heart pain >No longer getting winded walking to kitchen after playing vidya >Lost 10 lbs What the f--- Has getting /fit/ always been this easy? I know this is just noob gains but being a fat guy was more work than this. I just do pushups any time I die and at this point it would be harder to stop the habit than it was to start it. Anonymous >>76317730 (OP) # 06/29/25(Sun)07:53:45 No.76317736 good, just make sure you take a break every day or two so that you don't injure your joints after inactivity. you still need to physically adjust. Anonymous >>76317730 (OP) # >26 years old 06/29/25(Sun)08:45:00 No.76317888 >Heart pain after low intensity activity Anon... |||
ܩܘ 8:45 5G63 Anonymous 24 KB PNG 06/29/25(Sun)07:50:20 No.76317730 >Be 280lb fat guy >Turn 26 and realize I spent half of my best decade as couch potato >Try to lift on and off over years but can never keep routine due to ADHD and Autism >Suddenly get desire to not be fat >Stop eating any kind of candy, ice cream, or potato chip >Do pushups every morning >On first day my pecs fail and hurt after 3 pushups >Just keep doing sets of 5 over and over whenever the pain isn't too bad >Do sets of 100 foot jogs because that's as far as I can go before my heart hurts literally just 8 days later >Can now do sets of 10 pushups easily and max set is 15 >Can now jog quarter mile without heart pain >No longer getting winded walking to kitchen after playing vidya >Lost 10 lbs What the f--- Has getting /fit/ always been this easy? I know this is just noob gains but being a fat guy was more work than this. I just do pushups any time I die and at this point it would be harder to stop the habit than it was to start it. Anonymous >>76317730 (OP) # 06/29/25(Sun)07:53:45 No.76317736 good, just make sure you take a break every day or two so that you don't injure your joints after inactivity. you still need to physically adjust. Anonymous >>76317730 (OP) # >26 years old 06/29/25(Sun)08:45:00 No.76317888 >Heart pain after low intensity activity Anon... |||

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