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But did he receive thy recipe for thy secret sauce? | /r/Greentext

413531-CosmicBrownies.jpg (195 KB, 800x600) google igdb Little Debbi COSMIC Brownies NTAINS 12 SQUARES CHOCOLATE C Anonymous 11/24/13(Sun)13:00:34 No.28470756 [♥]>>28470782 >>28470790 >Last Night's D&D session >DM decides to reveal that he's actually a bit of an amateur chef >Spends ten minutes puttering around in the kitchen, and we hear the constant churning noise of a blender >Comes back with large mugs filled with a thick, brown liquid >"It's my cosmic brownie shake. Just try it." >Try it >It tastes like sex with an angel >Everyone drains their mugs >"Don't worry, there's plenty left! You can drink as much as you want! And, the best part is, its actually really healthy for you!" >We start playing, continuing to drink the tasty shakes the entire time >About an hour in, I start to feel funny. >One guy dashes off to the bathroom, and a few seconds later we hear him screaming >"IT'S LIKE SNAKES. IT'S LIKE SNAKES ARE IN MY GUTS AND ARE TEARING APART MY A------." >No one has any idea what he's talking about. >One minute later >Everyone knows what he's talking about. >I manage to reach one of the three bathrooms >Pain >Agonizing pain >Like my liver is strangling my stomach while my intestines tie themselves into knots >I am s------- and crying and occasionally screaming >Hear screaming coming from outside the window >One guy didn't manage to get into a bathroom >He's screaming and crying and s------- outside in the backyard >Neighbors walk out of their house to see what's going on >Guy in the backyard is pleading with them to kill him >Everyone spends the entire night just s------- and crying I just got back home and I think I lost thirty pounds. Gaming food thread? [-] Anonymous 11/24/13(Sun)13:02:47 No.28470782 [♥]>>28470798 >>28470804 >>28470828 >>28470756 (OP) Did you get the recipe?
413531-CosmicBrownies.jpg (195 KB, 800x600) google igdb Little Debbi COSMIC Brownies NTAINS 12 SQUARES CHOCOLATE C Anonymous 11/24/13(Sun)13:00:34 No.28470756 [♥]>>28470782 >>28470790 >Last Night's D&D session >DM decides to reveal that he's actually a bit of an amateur chef >Spends ten minutes puttering around in the kitchen, and we hear the constant churning noise of a blender >Comes back with large mugs filled with a thick, brown liquid >"It's my cosmic brownie shake. Just try it." >Try it >It tastes like sex with an angel >Everyone drains their mugs >"Don't worry, there's plenty left! You can drink as much as you want! And, the best part is, its actually really healthy for you!" >We start playing, continuing to drink the tasty shakes the entire time >About an hour in, I start to feel funny. >One guy dashes off to the bathroom, and a few seconds later we hear him screaming >"IT'S LIKE SNAKES. IT'S LIKE SNAKES ARE IN MY GUTS AND ARE TEARING APART MY A------." >No one has any idea what he's talking about. >One minute later >Everyone knows what he's talking about. >I manage to reach one of the three bathrooms >Pain >Agonizing pain >Like my liver is strangling my stomach while my intestines tie themselves into knots >I am s------- and crying and occasionally screaming >Hear screaming coming from outside the window >One guy didn't manage to get into a bathroom >He's screaming and crying and s------- outside in the backyard >Neighbors walk out of their house to see what's going on >Guy in the backyard is pleading with them to kill him >Everyone spends the entire night just s------- and crying I just got back home and I think I lost thirty pounds. Gaming food thread? [-] Anonymous 11/24/13(Sun)13:02:47 No.28470782 [♥]>>28470798 >>28470804 >>28470828 >>28470756 (OP) Did you get the recipe?

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Anon is Problematic | /r/Greentext

File: stabler.jpg (48 KB, 1280x720) Anonymous 01/20/25(Mon)16:56:57 No.208033011 >>208033032 >>208033115 >>208033127 >>208033174 >>208033461 >>208033703 >>208033935 >>208034663 >>208034832 >>208035006 >>208035107 >>208035164 >>208035220 >>208035460 >SHE WAS 18 AND YOU WERE 28, YOU SICK F---! ☐ Anonymous 01/20/25(Mon) 17:04:24 No.208033127 ► >>208033011 (OP) >SHE STILL HAD SOME EGGS LEFT, YOU SICK F--- ☐ Anonymous 01/20/25(Mon)19:45:22 No.208035076 ► >She was born on a leap year, February 29th. She's only had 4 birthdays you sick f---! ☐ Anonymous 01/20/25(Mon)20:22:14 No.208035484 ► File: p---.jpg (193 KB, 1080x1835) @Igota_dig_bick "SHE WAS ONLY 18 YOU SICK F---" AF AF Post @AFpost • 8h 22-year-old Massachusetts man beat by college students after going to meet 18-year-old woman he met on dating app in "To Catch a Predator”-esque setup. Tinder FAMILY ACADEMIC CENTER big yikes thankfully zoomers don't allow pedos to thrive anymore ☐ Anonymous 01/20/25(Mon)20:45:29 No.208035736 >>208035754 Straight age gap relationships are the only relationships left where it's socially acceptable to look down on them and shame them. Notice how leftoids never have anything negative to say about some 50 y/o muscle daddy pounding 19 y/o twink bussy. ☐ Anonymous 01/20/25(Mon)20:47:10 No.208035754 >>208035790 File: 1491411086352.png (56 KB, 1149x722) >>208035736 it's brave and beatiful chud
File: stabler.jpg (48 KB, 1280x720) Anonymous 01/20/25(Mon)16:56:57 No.208033011 >>208033032 >>208033115 >>208033127 >>208033174 >>208033461 >>208033703 >>208033935 >>208034663 >>208034832 >>208035006 >>208035107 >>208035164 >>208035220 >>208035460 >SHE WAS 18 AND YOU WERE 28, YOU SICK F---! ☐ Anonymous 01/20/25(Mon) 17:04:24 No.208033127 ► >>208033011 (OP) >SHE STILL HAD SOME EGGS LEFT, YOU SICK F--- ☐ Anonymous 01/20/25(Mon)19:45:22 No.208035076 ► >She was born on a leap year, February 29th. She's only had 4 birthdays you sick f---! ☐ Anonymous 01/20/25(Mon)20:22:14 No.208035484 ► File: p---.jpg (193 KB, 1080x1835) @Igota_dig_bick "SHE WAS ONLY 18 YOU SICK F---" AF AF Post @AFpost • 8h 22-year-old Massachusetts man beat by college students after going to meet 18-year-old woman he met on dating app in "To Catch a Predator”-esque setup. Tinder FAMILY ACADEMIC CENTER big yikes thankfully zoomers don't allow pedos to thrive anymore ☐ Anonymous 01/20/25(Mon)20:45:29 No.208035736 >>208035754 Straight age gap relationships are the only relationships left where it's socially acceptable to look down on them and shame them. Notice how leftoids never have anything negative to say about some 50 y/o muscle daddy pounding 19 y/o twink bussy. ☐ Anonymous 01/20/25(Mon)20:47:10 No.208035754 >>208035790 File: 1491411086352.png (56 KB, 1149x722) >>208035736 it's brave and beatiful chud

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Ancient poetry | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/24/13(Sun)19:45:44 UTC-5 No.6215899 ! Replies: >>6215917 >>6214437 (OP) >Eating sandwich at beach >Skipping stones >Watching the sunset and thinking about life >Throw sandwich into ocean >Bite rock people saw
Anonymous 03/24/13(Sun)19:45:44 UTC-5 No.6215899 ! Replies: >>6215917 >>6214437 (OP) >Eating sandwich at beach >Skipping stones >Watching the sunset and thinking about life >Throw sandwich into ocean >Bite rock people saw

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Anon won, but at what cost? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 68 KB JPG 03/04/23(Sat)21:37:39 No.72452175 >Currently 20 years old >Not a single cell of facial hair >Hate my genetics, my dad has a full on beard >My mom's side has almost no facial hair on their men, guess | got her side on that one >Get desperate and buy creams n s---, obviously doesnt work but want facial hair so freakin bad >Lurk on internet forums for anything >After searching i get an idea >Go to reddit >Create my account >Subscribe to r/atheism, r/whitepeopletwitter, r/politicalhumor, and r/twoxchromosomes >The hair comes rushing in >Feel up my luxurious locks of neck and side facial follicles >I knew it would be a lot of neckbeard hair but I figured I would learn to trim it >Starts growing faster and faster >ohfuck.png >I get up from my chair to get a razor from the bathroom >Almost get a heart attack, look down and see i've gained an extra 100 pounds >Crave weed to smoke and make it half my personality >My brain starts to rot and I believe anything left wing media tells me >My parents hate me and think I'm a loser >gf dumps me and i can't get p---- to save my life anymore Don't do it anons, it's not f------ worth it
: Anonymous 68 KB JPG 03/04/23(Sat)21:37:39 No.72452175 >Currently 20 years old >Not a single cell of facial hair >Hate my genetics, my dad has a full on beard >My mom's side has almost no facial hair on their men, guess | got her side on that one >Get desperate and buy creams n s---, obviously doesnt work but want facial hair so freakin bad >Lurk on internet forums for anything >After searching i get an idea >Go to reddit >Create my account >Subscribe to r/atheism, r/whitepeopletwitter, r/politicalhumor, and r/twoxchromosomes >The hair comes rushing in >Feel up my luxurious locks of neck and side facial follicles >I knew it would be a lot of neckbeard hair but I figured I would learn to trim it >Starts growing faster and faster >ohfuck.png >I get up from my chair to get a razor from the bathroom >Almost get a heart attack, look down and see i've gained an extra 100 pounds >Crave weed to smoke and make it half my personality >My brain starts to rot and I believe anything left wing media tells me >My parents hate me and think I'm a loser >gf dumps me and i can't get p---- to save my life anymore Don't do it anons, it's not f------ worth it

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Anon discovers women | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 69906983 Πριν από 56 λεπ. ... I think I'm into femboys with vaginas, how do you call that? 1,1 MB PNG 6 REPLIES 2 IMAGES REPLY Πριν από 55 λεπ. Anonymous 69906994 >>69906983 (OP) that's called a woman you dumb m-----------. you stupid f------ ape
Anonymous 69906983 Πριν από 56 λεπ. ... I think I'm into femboys with vaginas, how do you call that? 1,1 MB PNG 6 REPLIES 2 IMAGES REPLY Πριν από 55 λεπ. Anonymous 69906994 >>69906983 (OP) that's called a woman you dumb m-----------. you stupid f------ ape

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Anon has issues. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 1.32 MB PNG premature 01/20/25(Mon) 14:10:33 No.80118342 Is there a certain thing you keep fapping to but always feel shame afterwards? >Be a deranged 5'6 swarthy and autistic anglocel >Had stunted growth due to abuse in the womb >From my dad who is now in jail overseas >Mum nearly miscarried and I was born >Mum is a way too hot Anglo-Danish rose >Like super pale and very feminine even today >Have taken creepshots of her feet >Still masturbate to them today >Often consider posting them hear as part of my kink I know I'm going to hell. I know I'm sick in the head but I can't help it. I really can't. My brain chemistry is all f----- up and mummy sort of encouraged my perverse ways even if indirectly. 18 Replies / 3 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 1.32 MB PNG premature 01/20/25(Mon) 14:10:33 No.80118342 Is there a certain thing you keep fapping to but always feel shame afterwards? >Be a deranged 5'6 swarthy and autistic anglocel >Had stunted growth due to abuse in the womb >From my dad who is now in jail overseas >Mum nearly miscarried and I was born >Mum is a way too hot Anglo-Danish rose >Like super pale and very feminine even today >Have taken creepshots of her feet >Still masturbate to them today >Often consider posting them hear as part of my kink I know I'm going to hell. I know I'm sick in the head but I can't help it. I really can't. My brain chemistry is all f----- up and mummy sort of encouraged my perverse ways even if indirectly. 18 Replies / 3 Images View Thread

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The great filter | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/19/25(Sun)19:06:39 No.700698580 TSUKIHIME A piece of blue glass moon collects the two tales that make up the "hear Side of the Mour portion of the original Tukihime: Arcad's scenario, "Moon Princess, and C's scenarie, "Midnight Rainbow." Basic reading ability is needed ABC to fully enjoy this game. 1.39 MB PNG >game has a high skill ceiling
Anonymous 01/19/25(Sun)19:06:39 No.700698580 TSUKIHIME A piece of blue glass moon collects the two tales that make up the "hear Side of the Mour portion of the original Tukihime: Arcad's scenario, "Moon Princess, and C's scenarie, "Midnight Rainbow." Basic reading ability is needed ABC to fully enjoy this game. 1.39 MB PNG >game has a high skill ceiling

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Anon boos is a memer | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 775720450 704.8 KB JPG >be me 1 min ago >dispatch manager for a small company >bunch of 18 year olds start working in the shipping dept >start using the most current memes, yet, ligma etc, just general s--- from 4chan/reddit to see if they get it >kids get really into it >everything is a meme to them >boss walks into the dispatch room just as I chuck some packing tape to one the kids screaming yeet as I do it >boss takes one look at me and says "looks like you've got a case of updog" >one of the kids replies "what's up dog?" >MFW my boss is the biggest memer in the office
Anonymous 775720450 704.8 KB JPG >be me 1 min ago >dispatch manager for a small company >bunch of 18 year olds start working in the shipping dept >start using the most current memes, yet, ligma etc, just general s--- from 4chan/reddit to see if they get it >kids get really into it >everything is a meme to them >boss walks into the dispatch room just as I chuck some packing tape to one the kids screaming yeet as I do it >boss takes one look at me and says "looks like you've got a case of updog" >one of the kids replies "what's up dog?" >MFW my boss is the biggest memer in the office

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Anon had enough. | /r/Greentext

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1765434598764.jpg, 64KB, 711x718 Anonymous Wed 23 Dec 2020 13:27:24 No.59011713 View Report happened last year, but i'll greentext it >be me, work at a big tech company >leftist ultra-woke usual corporate nonsense etc >i'm 6'2 and lifting for 2.5 years, working up to 2/3/4/5 >wear polo shirts to work bc comfy and collared/professional, downside is everyone can see my physique >i outright refuse to talk about weightlifting/fitness to my coworkers to avoid becoming a stereotype >always change the subject, or say "yeah I used to lift in the past but not anymore" >but i'm obviously very muscular, especially by normie standards >normie standards are so f-----, they think i'm mr olympia while to me i'm a work in progress >i can always feel the unspoken resentment from other ppl tho >thotty summer interns and vendor sales hoes always approach me, plenty of mires >some fat girl on a team adjacent to mine always making weird fitness jokes at my expense >not a landwhale (yet) but extremely overweight, massive feminist, white BLM activist >approaching the wall at warp speed and secretly knows it (they all do) >theres a disagreement on how to use engineering resources >"hey, i'll bet anon over there probably wants to settle the debate by arm wrestling lol" >constant weird annoying comments like that >one day i get to a meeting 5 minutes late bc i had to walk across two buildings to get there >"well well nice of you to join us there protein shake" >enough >"well I'm here now, sorry I'm late McFlurry" > room with a dozen people in it falls silent >everyone staring at me like i just murdered a child or something >literally 15 seconds of silence >fatty is in shock, doesn't say anything for the entire meeting >next day >manager requests a 10am meeting >walk into the room, its him and 2 HR people >assigned 4 weeks of sensitivity training >online courses on diversity in the workplace >mfw around fats never relax
View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1765434598764.jpg, 64KB, 711x718 Anonymous Wed 23 Dec 2020 13:27:24 No.59011713 View Report happened last year, but i'll greentext it >be me, work at a big tech company >leftist ultra-woke usual corporate nonsense etc >i'm 6'2 and lifting for 2.5 years, working up to 2/3/4/5 >wear polo shirts to work bc comfy and collared/professional, downside is everyone can see my physique >i outright refuse to talk about weightlifting/fitness to my coworkers to avoid becoming a stereotype >always change the subject, or say "yeah I used to lift in the past but not anymore" >but i'm obviously very muscular, especially by normie standards >normie standards are so f-----, they think i'm mr olympia while to me i'm a work in progress >i can always feel the unspoken resentment from other ppl tho >thotty summer interns and vendor sales hoes always approach me, plenty of mires >some fat girl on a team adjacent to mine always making weird fitness jokes at my expense >not a landwhale (yet) but extremely overweight, massive feminist, white BLM activist >approaching the wall at warp speed and secretly knows it (they all do) >theres a disagreement on how to use engineering resources >"hey, i'll bet anon over there probably wants to settle the debate by arm wrestling lol" >constant weird annoying comments like that >one day i get to a meeting 5 minutes late bc i had to walk across two buildings to get there >"well well nice of you to join us there protein shake" >enough >"well I'm here now, sorry I'm late McFlurry" > room with a dozen people in it falls silent >everyone staring at me like i just murdered a child or something >literally 15 seconds of silence >fatty is in shock, doesn't say anything for the entire meeting >next day >manager requests a 10am meeting >walk into the room, its him and 2 HR people >assigned 4 weeks of sensitivity training >online courses on diversity in the workplace >mfw around fats never relax

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Anon is a convict | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Namelets 04/20/18(Fri)07:58:56 No.44813803 >tfw black >first and middle names are Conrad Victor >got nicknamed 'Convict' in school 71 KB PNG 24 Replies/5 Images View Thread
Anonymous Namelets 04/20/18(Fri)07:58:56 No.44813803 >tfw black >first and middle names are Conrad Victor >got nicknamed 'Convict' in school 71 KB PNG 24 Replies/5 Images View Thread

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Bad Encounter. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/27/12(Thu)08:26 No.11685466 Replies: >>11685474 >>11685477 >>11685486 >>11685548 >>11685552 >>11685555 >>11685576 >>11685585 >>11685607 File: 1356614780491.jpg-(93 KB, 719x1278, Screenshot_2012-11-19-16-15-39.jpg) > Be Biologist > Be doing biologist s--- > Buddies are setting camtraps on trees while I'm at camp trying to get a fire going > Fire won't catch > Bill sits next to me > Feels cold, but since everything was cold never cared about it > "This f------ lint won't make a spark, s----- f--- equipment, where's Sam with the lighter?" > Keep complaining for a while > Realize the person next to me isn't talking > Feel a slight chill creeping up my spine > Slowly look ahead > Can see Sam's and Bill's flashlights in the woods ahead > Who the f--- is sitting next to me > Turn around, all I see is something black > NOPE > Wake up next day > Sam and Bill are standing on top of me, white as milk > I'm laying in the middle of the ground a little bit away from the camp > They said they heard screaming and when they came I was nowhere to be seen Anonymous 12/27/12(Thu)08:31 No.11685486 Replies: >>11685493 >>11685576 >>11685466 Where where you when this happened Anonymous 12/27/12(Thu)08:34 No.11685493 Replies: >>11685522 >>11685576 >>11685486 Ft Campbell, Tenesse > Had spent the whole night looking for me, shouting, yelling, all they got in response was a deep grunt. > Try to get up, pain everywhere >mfw this is what I looked like when they tore my shirt off >mfw I had torn both my pectoralis (as if trying to push/fight something away, to the point where the muscle tore) and broken 5 ribs and a clavique >mfw I'm never doing field trip work again >mfw everynight | NOPE at the slightest feel of something brushing agaisnt me Anonymous 12/27/12(Thu)09:00 No. 11685576 Replies: >>11685585 >>11685590 >>11685607 File: 1356616850348.jpg-(86 KB, 647x473, hornedman.jpg) >>11685466 >>11685486 >>11685493 >Ft Campbell, Tenesse This figure was captured on video in the same area by youtube user james jones. I named it Horned Man but it could be just a bunch of trees. Now that you told your story it made me think of it. Coincidence? Or do we have a real thing here? If it was a bear you wouldn't be here to post that story, just saying.
Anonymous 12/27/12(Thu)08:26 No.11685466 Replies: >>11685474 >>11685477 >>11685486 >>11685548 >>11685552 >>11685555 >>11685576 >>11685585 >>11685607 File: 1356614780491.jpg-(93 KB, 719x1278, Screenshot_2012-11-19-16-15-39.jpg) > Be Biologist > Be doing biologist s--- > Buddies are setting camtraps on trees while I'm at camp trying to get a fire going > Fire won't catch > Bill sits next to me > Feels cold, but since everything was cold never cared about it > "This f------ lint won't make a spark, s----- f--- equipment, where's Sam with the lighter?" > Keep complaining for a while > Realize the person next to me isn't talking > Feel a slight chill creeping up my spine > Slowly look ahead > Can see Sam's and Bill's flashlights in the woods ahead > Who the f--- is sitting next to me > Turn around, all I see is something black > NOPE > Wake up next day > Sam and Bill are standing on top of me, white as milk > I'm laying in the middle of the ground a little bit away from the camp > They said they heard screaming and when they came I was nowhere to be seen Anonymous 12/27/12(Thu)08:31 No.11685486 Replies: >>11685493 >>11685576 >>11685466 Where where you when this happened Anonymous 12/27/12(Thu)08:34 No.11685493 Replies: >>11685522 >>11685576 >>11685486 Ft Campbell, Tenesse > Had spent the whole night looking for me, shouting, yelling, all they got in response was a deep grunt. > Try to get up, pain everywhere >mfw this is what I looked like when they tore my shirt off >mfw I had torn both my pectoralis (as if trying to push/fight something away, to the point where the muscle tore) and broken 5 ribs and a clavique >mfw I'm never doing field trip work again >mfw everynight | NOPE at the slightest feel of something brushing agaisnt me Anonymous 12/27/12(Thu)09:00 No. 11685576 Replies: >>11685585 >>11685590 >>11685607 File: 1356616850348.jpg-(86 KB, 647x473, hornedman.jpg) >>11685466 >>11685486 >>11685493 >Ft Campbell, Tenesse This figure was captured on video in the same area by youtube user james jones. I named it Horned Man but it could be just a bunch of trees. Now that you told your story it made me think of it. Coincidence? Or do we have a real thing here? If it was a bear you wouldn't be here to post that story, just saying.

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Which one of you was responsible for this? | /r/Greentext

. 5h (2/21 2:02) · 589505954 JPG 13KB (525 × 584) 2 Replies >download rom >cmd opens up >several lines of code are inputted at FTL speeds >several error messages appear >screen flickers >pc locks up and ransomware screen appears >screen flickers and everything goes back to normal >custom error message appears >"just kidding :)" >game launches and runs normally :
. 5h (2/21 2:02) · 589505954 JPG 13KB (525 × 584) 2 Replies >download rom >cmd opens up >several lines of code are inputted at FTL speeds >several error messages appear >screen flickers >pc locks up and ransomware screen appears >screen flickers and everything goes back to normal >custom error message appears >"just kidding :)" >game launches and runs normally :

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Bob saves the day. | /r/Greentext

9 Anonymous Sat 02 May 2020 23:09:33 No.24864120 Quoted By: >>24864171 >>24836558 I've had repeated contact with an "alien" visitor or entity since I was a kid. I don't know any other way to explain what I've seen, or what I remember seeing. >be me, little kid >get a drink of water >see bob the builder digging around in my garden through the window >because im just a kid this doesn't phase me somehow, I pop outside to say hi >ask him what he's building >he smiles and says he's making a sandbox for me to play in >next day my dad says he's going to start building a sandbox in the backyard for me and my brothers to play in >thankyoubob.jpg >grow up a bit, don't see bob for many years >one day adults are very worried and all in the TV room talking, I think it was when 9/11 happened >go outside because bored/scared >It's f------ Zoboomafoo from the Kratt brothers swinging on my swingset >But I can tell it's based Bob >sit on the swing next to him, ask where he's been >he points up to the moon and give me a cheeky lemur puppet smile >ask why he's here now >said he wanted to check up on me because some stuff happened >thank him for the sandbox >he laughs and swings away into our tree like a retard until I can't see him anymore >>24864120 >Long time, many years pass with no visits from based bob >begin to think it was all a dream/my imagination >parents think it's a cute story when I tell them >Finally learning to ride a bike >I'm slow at learning things and I really should have learned years ago and I'm still bad at it >Dad always telling me to check both ways before I cross a street, keep forgetting >crossing street back to my house, hear a noise out of nowhere and all of a sudden I'm on the ground >Based bob is wearing an Iron Man suit (The silver one) and has gently lowered me to the ground >my bike is completely mauled to shreds under the car >thankyoubasedbob.jpg >>24864171 Okay, time for a little bit of sad s---. I was trying to keep it light but there's some not so fun stuff in here. My parents abused me and all my siblings when we were growing up. They were pretty religious and crazy about a lot of things, it changed in what aspects over time but they definitely followed the whole "spare the rod spoil the child" mentality. I somehow ended up being the black sheep of the family because I'm kinda slow and stupid and stubborn and I daydream too much. So I got beat way, way more than any of the other kids. Anyway, back to the story. >Dad finds out about accident and destroyed bike >asks if I looked both ways >lied and say I did >he knows I didn't >not sure if he's mad about me being in danger or the bike being f-----, but he's P----- >getting the ass beating of my life >hurts so f------ much and is going on forever, I'm just screaming at this point >Begin to scream and beg for jesus to help me >All of a sudden my dad stops hitting me >cry into the bed for a few minutes before looking back >My dad is frozen in place looking terrified as f--- >It's based bob, hovering in front of him, looking like his OG builder self again >The spoon my dad was using to beat me literally disintegrates into a million pieces >dad's eyes are bulging as his wrist begins to bend backwards >Snapcracklepop.jpg >Bob looks at me >Says he's sorry for not doing something sooner >can almost see tears in his eyes >he floats through the ceiling and f---- off >dad never beats me again If you're watching out there based bob, thanks for the help. come back and visit sometime.
9 Anonymous Sat 02 May 2020 23:09:33 No.24864120 Quoted By: >>24864171 >>24836558 I've had repeated contact with an "alien" visitor or entity since I was a kid. I don't know any other way to explain what I've seen, or what I remember seeing. >be me, little kid >get a drink of water >see bob the builder digging around in my garden through the window >because im just a kid this doesn't phase me somehow, I pop outside to say hi >ask him what he's building >he smiles and says he's making a sandbox for me to play in >next day my dad says he's going to start building a sandbox in the backyard for me and my brothers to play in >thankyoubob.jpg >grow up a bit, don't see bob for many years >one day adults are very worried and all in the TV room talking, I think it was when 9/11 happened >go outside because bored/scared >It's f------ Zoboomafoo from the Kratt brothers swinging on my swingset >But I can tell it's based Bob >sit on the swing next to him, ask where he's been >he points up to the moon and give me a cheeky lemur puppet smile >ask why he's here now >said he wanted to check up on me because some stuff happened >thank him for the sandbox >he laughs and swings away into our tree like a retard until I can't see him anymore >>24864120 >Long time, many years pass with no visits from based bob >begin to think it was all a dream/my imagination >parents think it's a cute story when I tell them >Finally learning to ride a bike >I'm slow at learning things and I really should have learned years ago and I'm still bad at it >Dad always telling me to check both ways before I cross a street, keep forgetting >crossing street back to my house, hear a noise out of nowhere and all of a sudden I'm on the ground >Based bob is wearing an Iron Man suit (The silver one) and has gently lowered me to the ground >my bike is completely mauled to shreds under the car >thankyoubasedbob.jpg >>24864171 Okay, time for a little bit of sad s---. I was trying to keep it light but there's some not so fun stuff in here. My parents abused me and all my siblings when we were growing up. They were pretty religious and crazy about a lot of things, it changed in what aspects over time but they definitely followed the whole "spare the rod spoil the child" mentality. I somehow ended up being the black sheep of the family because I'm kinda slow and stupid and stubborn and I daydream too much. So I got beat way, way more than any of the other kids. Anyway, back to the story. >Dad finds out about accident and destroyed bike >asks if I looked both ways >lied and say I did >he knows I didn't >not sure if he's mad about me being in danger or the bike being f-----, but he's P----- >getting the ass beating of my life >hurts so f------ much and is going on forever, I'm just screaming at this point >Begin to scream and beg for jesus to help me >All of a sudden my dad stops hitting me >cry into the bed for a few minutes before looking back >My dad is frozen in place looking terrified as f--- >It's based bob, hovering in front of him, looking like his OG builder self again >The spoon my dad was using to beat me literally disintegrates into a million pieces >dad's eyes are bulging as his wrist begins to bend backwards >Snapcracklepop.jpg >Bob looks at me >Says he's sorry for not doing something sooner >can almost see tears in his eyes >he floats through the ceiling and f---- off >dad never beats me again If you're watching out there based bob, thanks for the help. come back and visit sometime.

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Anon Misses His Local GameStop | /r/Greentext

File: GameStop.png (1.2 MB, 929x650) GameStop ORLD RCRAFT CLEVELAND 50% OFF 2K19 TH ANNIVERSARY EDITION PLAY DAYS EARLY SEPTEMBER 7 ☐ Anonymous 01/20/25(Mon)16:19:54 No.700719327 >>700721371 >>700721594 >>700722423 >>700722954 >>700723004 >>700723173 >>700724160 >>700724286 >>700725208 >>700726842 >>700727035 The GameStop that's been in my town for 15+ years permanently closed the other day without warning. Even though it was GameStop, I'm going to miss it. GameStop stories thread ☐ Anonymous 01/20/25(Mon) 16:57:53 No.700721590 >Can we interest you in a pre-order? >Would you like to sign up for the warranty protection? >Would you like to sign up for the rewards program? >>700722180 >>700723431 >PLEASE SPEND EXTRA MONEY GODDAMN IT I KNOW YOU HAVE MONEY ☐ Anonymous 01/20/25(Mon) 17:29:27 No. 700723431 ► File: 1734393090547475.jpg (31 KB, 250x251) >>700721590 >mfw told the clerk at the cashier to skip all dialog >he rings me up and goes on with his day >> Anonymous 01/20/25(Mon) 17:30:15 No. 700723465 ► One of the worst corporations to ever exist.
File: GameStop.png (1.2 MB, 929x650) GameStop ORLD RCRAFT CLEVELAND 50% OFF 2K19 TH ANNIVERSARY EDITION PLAY DAYS EARLY SEPTEMBER 7 ☐ Anonymous 01/20/25(Mon)16:19:54 No.700719327 >>700721371 >>700721594 >>700722423 >>700722954 >>700723004 >>700723173 >>700724160 >>700724286 >>700725208 >>700726842 >>700727035 The GameStop that's been in my town for 15+ years permanently closed the other day without warning. Even though it was GameStop, I'm going to miss it. GameStop stories thread ☐ Anonymous 01/20/25(Mon) 16:57:53 No.700721590 >Can we interest you in a pre-order? >Would you like to sign up for the warranty protection? >Would you like to sign up for the rewards program? >>700722180 >>700723431 >PLEASE SPEND EXTRA MONEY GODDAMN IT I KNOW YOU HAVE MONEY ☐ Anonymous 01/20/25(Mon) 17:29:27 No. 700723431 ► File: 1734393090547475.jpg (31 KB, 250x251) >>700721590 >mfw told the clerk at the cashier to skip all dialog >he rings me up and goes on with his day >> Anonymous 01/20/25(Mon) 17:30:15 No. 700723465 ► One of the worst corporations to ever exist.

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How did they? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous AMERICAN PSYCHO 138 KB JPG 06/09/22(Thu)18:43:54 No.169341828 >book written by a homosexual >movie directed by a woman >is the most popular movie among those who hate both of those groups How did they do it?
Anonymous AMERICAN PSYCHO 138 KB JPG 06/09/22(Thu)18:43:54 No.169341828 >book written by a homosexual >movie directed by a woman >is the most popular movie among those who hate both of those groups How did they do it?

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It's totally true. | /r/Greentext

amazon Anonymous No.703960114 20 minutes ago >be me >go on amazon to buy stainless steel popcorn machine (i love popcorn) >add my s--- to cart >see they have an upgrade to Amazon Prime called Amazon Prime X >claims to deliver your order i 10 minutes or less >think its b------- >free trial so i use it anyway >checkout >10 minutes go by >think "i knew it was too good to be true" >Knock knock, open up the door, it's real >With the non-stop, pop pop and stainless steel >mfw >X gonna give it to ya >F--- waitin' for you to get it on your own >X gonna deliver to ya 10 replies
amazon Anonymous No.703960114 20 minutes ago >be me >go on amazon to buy stainless steel popcorn machine (i love popcorn) >add my s--- to cart >see they have an upgrade to Amazon Prime called Amazon Prime X >claims to deliver your order i 10 minutes or less >think its b------- >free trial so i use it anyway >checkout >10 minutes go by >think "i knew it was too good to be true" >Knock knock, open up the door, it's real >With the non-stop, pop pop and stainless steel >mfw >X gonna give it to ya >F--- waitin' for you to get it on your own >X gonna deliver to ya 10 replies

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