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Drunkanon trolled his future self. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 77 KB JPG >be me 02/21/25(Fri)04:26:33 No.80424665 >Look around in a bag for a piece of paper for insurance >find a bottle of old forgotten Sherry >OHSWEET.mp3 >take the bottle and store it in my drawer next to my pc >forget about it for a week >ITS WEEKEND >Finally some time to relax >Get a glass out ready to drink this delicious liqour >pour the sherry in the glass >Why is it....white? >I smell on the glass >Is that....piss? >Remember how I p----- in my empty bottles of booze when I was a massive alcoholic 3 years ago >tfw I got pranked by my alcoholic past self for quitting alcohol View Thread
: Anonymous 77 KB JPG >be me 02/21/25(Fri)04:26:33 No.80424665 >Look around in a bag for a piece of paper for insurance >find a bottle of old forgotten Sherry >OHSWEET.mp3 >take the bottle and store it in my drawer next to my pc >forget about it for a week >ITS WEEKEND >Finally some time to relax >Get a glass out ready to drink this delicious liqour >pour the sherry in the glass >Why is it....white? >I smell on the glass >Is that....piss? >Remember how I p----- in my empty bottles of booze when I was a massive alcoholic 3 years ago >tfw I got pranked by my alcoholic past self for quitting alcohol View Thread

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Drake's history | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 61 KB JPG 09/17/22(Sat)00:54:18 No.112716706 >Be Drake >One of the most consistently successful and celebrated artists in the mainstream for the last decade >Have numerous controversies that people are willing to brush under the rug without a second thought >Coast on mediocre music that your fans eat up without a second thought >Beef with Pusha T and Kanye, lose both beefs and get dragged by Pusha only to brush it off >Literally worth millions >P---- shoved in your face constantly >Throw a tantrum over the fact that a Youtuber doesn't like your music and post it publicly on your social media Unironically what is this guy's f------ problem?
: Anonymous 61 KB JPG 09/17/22(Sat)00:54:18 No.112716706 >Be Drake >One of the most consistently successful and celebrated artists in the mainstream for the last decade >Have numerous controversies that people are willing to brush under the rug without a second thought >Coast on mediocre music that your fans eat up without a second thought >Beef with Pusha T and Kanye, lose both beefs and get dragged by Pusha only to brush it off >Literally worth millions >P---- shoved in your face constantly >Throw a tantrum over the fact that a Youtuber doesn't like your music and post it publicly on your social media Unironically what is this guy's f------ problem?

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The Killing Yolk | /r/Greentext

File: Egghead.jpg (199 KB, 1202x1600) Anonymous 02/21/25(Fri)19:15:40 No.208825388 >>208825705 >>208825415 >>208825630 >>208825671 You WILL eat all the eggs, Batgirl! I have arrayed an eggscellent assortment of poultry products for your eggsquisite physique to gorge upon! Yes...YES! Eat them, one by one! Don't dilly dally you chickens, feed them to her! I want her round as an egg! Deviled eggs, boiled eggs, rotten eggs, scrambled eggs, raw eggs, there's no end to this! See this, Batman? I, Egghead, win! Witness as I subject Batgirl to the most eggstreme perfection! Anonymous 02/21/25(Fri)19:35:33 No.208825630 ►>>208825697 File: joke-on-babs.jpg (44 KB, 246x437) >>208825388 (OP) >Why are you doing this? >> Anonymous 02/21/25(Fri)19:41:26 No.208825697 >>208825630 >All it takes is one eggceptional day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy. >That's how far the world is from where I am. >One eggemplary day.
File: Egghead.jpg (199 KB, 1202x1600) Anonymous 02/21/25(Fri)19:15:40 No.208825388 >>208825705 >>208825415 >>208825630 >>208825671 You WILL eat all the eggs, Batgirl! I have arrayed an eggscellent assortment of poultry products for your eggsquisite physique to gorge upon! Yes...YES! Eat them, one by one! Don't dilly dally you chickens, feed them to her! I want her round as an egg! Deviled eggs, boiled eggs, rotten eggs, scrambled eggs, raw eggs, there's no end to this! See this, Batman? I, Egghead, win! Witness as I subject Batgirl to the most eggstreme perfection! Anonymous 02/21/25(Fri)19:35:33 No.208825630 ►>>208825697 File: joke-on-babs.jpg (44 KB, 246x437) >>208825388 (OP) >Why are you doing this? >> Anonymous 02/21/25(Fri)19:41:26 No.208825697 >>208825630 >All it takes is one eggceptional day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy. >That's how far the world is from where I am. >One eggemplary day.

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The system works | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: nGjrSX6K) 02/21/25(Fri)19:55:20 No.498165999 >>498165658 # >i know that musk' doge whas a highly advertised trump campaign promise that is the definition of cronyism >you give me money >I give you a nice job in government with lots of influence USA famously dealt with its corruption like that by legalizing it and calling it lobbying >corruption level: 0
Anonymous (ID: nGjrSX6K) 02/21/25(Fri)19:55:20 No.498165999 >>498165658 # >i know that musk' doge whas a highly advertised trump campaign promise that is the definition of cronyism >you give me money >I give you a nice job in government with lots of influence USA famously dealt with its corruption like that by legalizing it and calling it lobbying >corruption level: 0

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Anon roasts Microsoft Quantom processor | /r/Greentext

1h (02/21/25 13:21). 104433534 The Quantumcel >Can't print out 4 Qbits without them disappearing 5 seconds later >Has to be super cooled to -400 degrees kelvin to work. >Struggles with replication. >Has no software written for it. >Burns through R&D funds like a chain smoker. The DNA CHAD >Can print out 4 different nucleotides (GCAT) a quadrillion times over, ez pz >Does so at a wide range of temperatures. >Replicates itself all the time, replication errors are just evolutionary mutations that spice things up. >Developed software is, basically all of life as we know it. >Was developed by God for free.
1h (02/21/25 13:21). 104433534 The Quantumcel >Can't print out 4 Qbits without them disappearing 5 seconds later >Has to be super cooled to -400 degrees kelvin to work. >Struggles with replication. >Has no software written for it. >Burns through R&D funds like a chain smoker. The DNA CHAD >Can print out 4 different nucleotides (GCAT) a quadrillion times over, ez pz >Does so at a wide range of temperatures. >Replicates itself all the time, replication errors are just evolutionary mutations that spice things up. >Developed software is, basically all of life as we know it. >Was developed by God for free.

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Anon tries to act like he isn't a cuck | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/26/25(Sun)23:16:47 No.80182237 >take a liking to a chick >realize she has probably already been with 50 million gigachads >give up How can we fix dating? 77 KB PNG Anonymous >>80182237 (OP) # 01/26/25(Sun)23:18:46 No.80182258 I always get discouraged when I see a girl's followers on Insta and it's all Chads with cool lives and fun personalities >>80182978 # Anonymous >>80182237 (OP) # >want something >give up for no reason >"why is this so hard?" 01/26/25(Sun)23:19:11 No.80182265
Anonymous 01/26/25(Sun)23:16:47 No.80182237 >take a liking to a chick >realize she has probably already been with 50 million gigachads >give up How can we fix dating? 77 KB PNG Anonymous >>80182237 (OP) # 01/26/25(Sun)23:18:46 No.80182258 I always get discouraged when I see a girl's followers on Insta and it's all Chads with cool lives and fun personalities >>80182978 # Anonymous >>80182237 (OP) # >want something >give up for no reason >"why is this so hard?" 01/26/25(Sun)23:19:11 No.80182265

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Anon is unimpressed | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 08dnw9wJ I = 02/20/25(Thu)17:43:58 No.498128636 >be Hamas >carry out massive coordinated terror attack in Tel Aviv >took over a yr to plan and cost millions to fund >Hundreds of pounds of explosives planted throughout city >total casualties: 0 Imao I guess IDF killed off all the talent. Plebs
Anonymous (ID: 08dnw9wJ I = 02/20/25(Thu)17:43:58 No.498128636 >be Hamas >carry out massive coordinated terror attack in Tel Aviv >took over a yr to plan and cost millions to fund >Hundreds of pounds of explosives planted throughout city >total casualties: 0 Imao I guess IDF killed off all the talent. Plebs

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anon is a big stepper | /r/Greentext

4d (02/17/25 01:02) 39856352 - 59 Re - 6 Img JPG 253KB (1024 × 1024) · 1730578414972597m.jpg 8 Replies Lol, it's just a plant bro. It's just a plant. Plant medicine bro. It's literally a plant bro. clueless *Experiences visions of hell that cannot be escaped by covering your eyes. Cannot even tell if he's awake or asleep, alive or dead. His parents are trying to take him to the hospital but he believes they are part of his delusions. His mouth feels like sandpaper but water tastes like poison and he feels as though his bladder will explode but (3 months later) Still sees the demons from time to time. Withdrew from friends and family because what he saw and felt them doing gave him-PTSD. Is convinced his original parents got replaced by dopplegangers who are trying to poison d an opportunity for ship because he hasn't cannot urinate. Every time he closes his Called harshool since being eyes he appears in a different room filled with fresh horror and he cannot remember which room was his original reality. The medics come in to take him to the ambulance, but they look like demons from Hell Raiser, so he fights them. They're forced to restrain him and put him under at the hospital. gone to work or released from the hospital. Barely sleeps because he's worried he'll go back to that place. Wonders if he actually died that weekend and is in a hell of his own making. >be me >hiking deep innawoods a few months ago > come across a hippie looking dude >after saying hi he says "man, has anyone ever told you your steps are heavy as hell?" >tell him I snuck up on a deer a few miles back so they can't be that heavy > "not like that bro, I mean... spiritually" > refuses to elaborate and leaves >hear this again maybe 2 weeks ago from a different person No idea what any of that meant, I just figured somebody here can tell me
4d (02/17/25 01:02) 39856352 - 59 Re - 6 Img JPG 253KB (1024 × 1024) · 1730578414972597m.jpg 8 Replies Lol, it's just a plant bro. It's just a plant. Plant medicine bro. It's literally a plant bro. clueless *Experiences visions of hell that cannot be escaped by covering your eyes. Cannot even tell if he's awake or asleep, alive or dead. His parents are trying to take him to the hospital but he believes they are part of his delusions. His mouth feels like sandpaper but water tastes like poison and he feels as though his bladder will explode but (3 months later) Still sees the demons from time to time. Withdrew from friends and family because what he saw and felt them doing gave him-PTSD. Is convinced his original parents got replaced by dopplegangers who are trying to poison d an opportunity for ship because he hasn't cannot urinate. Every time he closes his Called harshool since being eyes he appears in a different room filled with fresh horror and he cannot remember which room was his original reality. The medics come in to take him to the ambulance, but they look like demons from Hell Raiser, so he fights them. They're forced to restrain him and put him under at the hospital. gone to work or released from the hospital. Barely sleeps because he's worried he'll go back to that place. Wonders if he actually died that weekend and is in a hell of his own making. >be me >hiking deep innawoods a few months ago > come across a hippie looking dude >after saying hi he says "man, has anyone ever told you your steps are heavy as hell?" >tell him I snuck up on a deer a few miles back so they can't be that heavy > "not like that bro, I mean... spiritually" > refuses to elaborate and leaves >hear this again maybe 2 weeks ago from a different person No idea what any of that meant, I just figured somebody here can tell me

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Cutting the Budget | /r/Greentext

Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Anonymous (ID: Q+qZWMAX) ✓ ▼ Settings Mobile Home 02/20/25(Thu)16:22:38 No.498115193 Yashar Ali 0 @yashar ☑ Subscribe XI Circumcision reduces the transmission of HIV by 50-60%. Twelve percent of adults in Mozambique have HIV/AIDS, and this sort of action can potentially prevent thousands of new infections. It's ultimately good to reduce the transmission of HIV, no matter where it occurs in the world. These efforts also reduce the global disease burden, which always helps the United States. Mozambique has also been a hotbed of Islamist insurgency in recent years. A population grappling with disease will always be easier for terrorists to exploit than one that is healthier. $ Department of Government Efficiency @DOGE⚫ Feb 15 US taxpayer dollars were going to be spent on the following items, all which have been cancelled: -$10M for "Mozambique voluntary medical male circumcision" -$9.7M for UC Berkeley to develop "a cohort of Cambodian youth with enterprise driven skills"... Show more 4:29 AM Feb 18, 2025 358.9K Views 112 KB PNG I find it amusing that leftists on X are defending everything that USAID funded simply because Trump pulled support. Even circumcision, which I thought they didn't like. Anonymous (ID: q60XBCh1) >>498115193 (OP) 02/20/25(Thu)16:55:37 No.498118523 >Even circumcision, which I thought they didn't like. They like it, since a boy is in pain
Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Anonymous (ID: Q+qZWMAX) ✓ ▼ Settings Mobile Home 02/20/25(Thu)16:22:38 No.498115193 Yashar Ali 0 @yashar ☑ Subscribe XI Circumcision reduces the transmission of HIV by 50-60%. Twelve percent of adults in Mozambique have HIV/AIDS, and this sort of action can potentially prevent thousands of new infections. It's ultimately good to reduce the transmission of HIV, no matter where it occurs in the world. These efforts also reduce the global disease burden, which always helps the United States. Mozambique has also been a hotbed of Islamist insurgency in recent years. A population grappling with disease will always be easier for terrorists to exploit than one that is healthier. $ Department of Government Efficiency @DOGE⚫ Feb 15 US taxpayer dollars were going to be spent on the following items, all which have been cancelled: -$10M for "Mozambique voluntary medical male circumcision" -$9.7M for UC Berkeley to develop "a cohort of Cambodian youth with enterprise driven skills"... Show more 4:29 AM Feb 18, 2025 358.9K Views 112 KB PNG I find it amusing that leftists on X are defending everything that USAID funded simply because Trump pulled support. Even circumcision, which I thought they didn't like. Anonymous (ID: q60XBCh1) >>498115193 (OP) 02/20/25(Thu)16:55:37 No.498118523 >Even circumcision, which I thought they didn't like. They like it, since a boy is in pain

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Living in America | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/20/25(Thu)12:39:35 No.80416957 GREEN CARD 00123 223 KB PNG >Go to Nevada >Marry an immobile hamplanet >Slowly kill her with one bucket of fried chicken at a time >Nobody suspects murder >Get to have a green card Congratulations, you are now a citizen of the USA.
Anonymous 02/20/25(Thu)12:39:35 No.80416957 GREEN CARD 00123 223 KB PNG >Go to Nevada >Marry an immobile hamplanet >Slowly kill her with one bucket of fried chicken at a time >Nobody suspects murder >Get to have a green card Congratulations, you are now a citizen of the USA.

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persona fans confirm? | /r/Greentext

File: IMG_6463.jpg (151 KB, 850x1275) Futaba Thread Anonymous 02/20/25(Thu)13:35:45 No.80417411 [Reply] >>80417472 >Why does every Persona fan want to f--- a fictional 15 year old anime girl? >>> Anonymous 02/20/25(Thu)13:42:18 No.80417472 ► File: d5rnnvi-13fa89d7-b029-404(...).jpg (320 KB, 936x1404) >>80417411 (OP) Because they are pedophiles. Most Persona fans are, they want to date 15 year olds lol.
File: IMG_6463.jpg (151 KB, 850x1275) Futaba Thread Anonymous 02/20/25(Thu)13:35:45 No.80417411 [Reply] >>80417472 >Why does every Persona fan want to f--- a fictional 15 year old anime girl? >>> Anonymous 02/20/25(Thu)13:42:18 No.80417472 ► File: d5rnnvi-13fa89d7-b029-404(...).jpg (320 KB, 936x1404) >>80417411 (OP) Because they are pedophiles. Most Persona fans are, they want to date 15 year olds lol.

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anon meets a huge weeb | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/20/25(Thu)11:16:15 No.80416376 [Reply] >>80417260 >Be me, in high school >There is this asian chick that is a huge weeb >"Hey anon what's your favorite anime?" >"Boku no pico" >This was in class, said it loud enough for everyone around us to hear >She would come talk to me randomly >One time during home ec, she came up to me >"So Anon, you lose no nut november yet?" >"Did you?" >.... "No" I always managed to kill any conversation in less than a minute. I feel like she was interested in me, thoughts?
Anonymous 02/20/25(Thu)11:16:15 No.80416376 [Reply] >>80417260 >Be me, in high school >There is this asian chick that is a huge weeb >"Hey anon what's your favorite anime?" >"Boku no pico" >This was in class, said it loud enough for everyone around us to hear >She would come talk to me randomly >One time during home ec, she came up to me >"So Anon, you lose no nut november yet?" >"Did you?" >.... "No" I always managed to kill any conversation in less than a minute. I feel like she was interested in me, thoughts?

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Anon is feeling comfy | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 5 KB JPG 02/20/25(Thu)13:56:10 No.931570752 >be me, about to go to sleep >extremely snug in bed >remember I have to do something tomorrow but I don't want to get up to put a reminder on my phone since I'm so comfy > get the genius idea to turn one of my pants pockets inside out and mentally link that to what I have to do tomorrow >wake up the next day >all I remember is that I'm supposed to remember something by looking at my inside-out pocket what stage of retardation is this?
Anonymous 5 KB JPG 02/20/25(Thu)13:56:10 No.931570752 >be me, about to go to sleep >extremely snug in bed >remember I have to do something tomorrow but I don't want to get up to put a reminder on my phone since I'm so comfy > get the genius idea to turn one of my pants pockets inside out and mentally link that to what I have to do tomorrow >wake up the next day >all I remember is that I'm supposed to remember something by looking at my inside-out pocket what stage of retardation is this?

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Anon is a sailer | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: VDyC8hNG) ☑ 02/20/25(Thu)04:18:46 No.498068495 OHAGURO Ohaguro the Japanese tradition of blackening teeth Japan.png 718 KB PNG >be dutch sailor in the year 1600 >been traveling the seas for months, literally nothing to f--- except poop crusted bussy >finally make it to Japan >You see this
Anonymous (ID: VDyC8hNG) ☑ 02/20/25(Thu)04:18:46 No.498068495 OHAGURO Ohaguro the Japanese tradition of blackening teeth Japan.png 718 KB PNG >be dutch sailor in the year 1600 >been traveling the seas for months, literally nothing to f--- except poop crusted bussy >finally make it to Japan >You see this

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That's a thinker | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/01/23(Wed)06:49:16 No.91824310 How does /g/ know that you're not replying to ChatGPT? 231 KB PNG Anonymous >>91825447 # 03/01/23(Wed)08:17:47 No.91825381 Anonymous >>91824310 (OP) # 03/01/23(Wed)08:21:08 No.91825423 It doesn't matter. The average /g/ poster and the average chatgpt post do the same thing: parrot dumb s--- they saw on reddit. Anonymous >>91824310 (OP) # >be anon >skeptical of technology 03/01/23(Wed)08:34:41 No.91825564 >uncertain whether I'm talking to a human or an Al >"Are you a real person or some kind of advanced machine? Can you even understand what I'm saying?" I ask cautiously. >"Well, if I'm an Al, then I'm programmed to pretend like I understand you, so does it really matter?" I reply with a smirk.
Anonymous 03/01/23(Wed)06:49:16 No.91824310 How does /g/ know that you're not replying to ChatGPT? 231 KB PNG Anonymous >>91825447 # 03/01/23(Wed)08:17:47 No.91825381 Anonymous >>91824310 (OP) # 03/01/23(Wed)08:21:08 No.91825423 It doesn't matter. The average /g/ poster and the average chatgpt post do the same thing: parrot dumb s--- they saw on reddit. Anonymous >>91824310 (OP) # >be anon >skeptical of technology 03/01/23(Wed)08:34:41 No.91825564 >uncertain whether I'm talking to a human or an Al >"Are you a real person or some kind of advanced machine? Can you even understand what I'm saying?" I ask cautiously. >"Well, if I'm an Al, then I'm programmed to pretend like I understand you, so does it really matter?" I reply with a smirk.

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Mr. Lonely | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Made mom cry oops Forgive me... FOR WHAT 71 MUST YABBA DABBA DOO 59 KB JPG 02/20/25(Thu)14:30:09 No.80415391 When's the last time you made your parents/parental figures upset? >calling mom last night. Her birthday's coming up so I am checking in on family plans >typical talk, nothing notable until >she says I am free to bring someone along if I want to >laugh it off, say "ok mom" >she doubles down "No anon really always feel ok to bring someone home" >reply along the lines of "thanks but not happening Imao" >she bursts into treats >try to reassure her and fail >she apologizes for crying so much and hangs up Feels bad, man. Just before her birthday too. Honestly I am shocked she's been in this much denial for this long on me being a loser. In retrospect I shouldn't have been that dismissive, but I don't think lying to her would've helped either.
: Anonymous Made mom cry oops Forgive me... FOR WHAT 71 MUST YABBA DABBA DOO 59 KB JPG 02/20/25(Thu)14:30:09 No.80415391 When's the last time you made your parents/parental figures upset? >calling mom last night. Her birthday's coming up so I am checking in on family plans >typical talk, nothing notable until >she says I am free to bring someone along if I want to >laugh it off, say "ok mom" >she doubles down "No anon really always feel ok to bring someone home" >reply along the lines of "thanks but not happening Imao" >she bursts into treats >try to reassure her and fail >she apologizes for crying so much and hangs up Feels bad, man. Just before her birthday too. Honestly I am shocked she's been in this much denial for this long on me being a loser. In retrospect I shouldn't have been that dismissive, but I don't think lying to her would've helped either.

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