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Anon's Father tries ordering coffee | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)21:47:11 No.68506887 my father called me to tell me something that happened today >driving to his job site early in the morning >stop at a mcdonalds to grab a coffee and a burrito >"how would you like your coffee sir" >"black" 49 KB JPG >the guy on the intercom pauses >"are you trying to disrespect me at my own f------ work" >"what" %3D >"you will treat me with respect you racist m-----------" >"I said I want a black coffee not a n----- coffee" >left without coffee or breakfast burrito my mother called me right after >"I really don't understand why your father got so much trouble with the black guy at the drive thru" >"why's that ma" >"if you say you want black coffee, doesn't that mean you like black people? the black guy at the drive thru should have been happy to hear it" I love my racist as s--- parents so much, I thought I was going to get a hernia from laughing so hard after the calls were over
: Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)21:47:11 No.68506887 my father called me to tell me something that happened today >driving to his job site early in the morning >stop at a mcdonalds to grab a coffee and a burrito >"how would you like your coffee sir" >"black" 49 KB JPG >the guy on the intercom pauses >"are you trying to disrespect me at my own f------ work" >"what" %3D >"you will treat me with respect you racist m-----------" >"I said I want a black coffee not a n----- coffee" >left without coffee or breakfast burrito my mother called me right after >"I really don't understand why your father got so much trouble with the black guy at the drive thru" >"why's that ma" >"if you say you want black coffee, doesn't that mean you like black people? the black guy at the drive thru should have been happy to hear it" I love my racist as s--- parents so much, I thought I was going to get a hernia from laughing so hard after the calls were over

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Anon plays the system and becomes a leech | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)12:57:31 No.877571824 >get a job at a huge organization >fully virtual >a year later, manager rage quits >team is a mess >new manager comes in but never contacts me 27 KB JPG >l never contact her >I don't think I was ever officially assigned to her so she probably doesn't even know I exist >slowly divert my work to different people in the company >nothing to do >no one to report to >l've been getting paid for free >it's been four months I literally spend all week watching movies. Next employee review is in seven months. I might get through till then. Tell me how you're doing being a slave /b/
: Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)12:57:31 No.877571824 >get a job at a huge organization >fully virtual >a year later, manager rage quits >team is a mess >new manager comes in but never contacts me 27 KB JPG >l never contact her >I don't think I was ever officially assigned to her so she probably doesn't even know I exist >slowly divert my work to different people in the company >nothing to do >no one to report to >l've been getting paid for free >it's been four months I literally spend all week watching movies. Next employee review is in seven months. I might get through till then. Tell me how you're doing being a slave /b/

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Marriage sucks | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)12:08:59 No.877492343 >>877492410 >be me >raised to steongly beleive sex before marriage was evil >literally all my exes left me because of it >"you must be gay anon" >meet girl >literally rapes me >she's pregnant >raised to strongly beleive having a bastard is evil >marry her >overall a happy marriage at first >miscarriage >ovarian cancer >full hysterectomy >wife has no sexdrive now >wife doesn't even act like wife anymore >raised to strongly beleive divorce is evil >still married >am I being punished?
Anonymous 05/04/22(Wed)12:08:59 No.877492343 >>877492410 >be me >raised to steongly beleive sex before marriage was evil >literally all my exes left me because of it >"you must be gay anon" >meet girl >literally rapes me >she's pregnant >raised to strongly beleive having a bastard is evil >marry her >overall a happy marriage at first >miscarriage >ovarian cancer >full hysterectomy >wife has no sexdrive now >wife doesn't even act like wife anymore >raised to strongly beleive divorce is evil >still married >am I being punished?

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Anon is chadaddy? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)10:23:16 No.877565121 Hi /b/ I had a sex ed question >me >body count 12 >never used protection >always pulled out 8 KB JPG >be with number 13 >after big bang >"wow anon you didn't even use protection, what if I become pregnant hehe" >I know what I'm doing, I always pull out >"still it can happen with precum" >???? Can it really /b/ ?? Are there mini anons running around made from pre mayo? I'm scurred.
: Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)10:23:16 No.877565121 Hi /b/ I had a sex ed question >me >body count 12 >never used protection >always pulled out 8 KB JPG >be with number 13 >after big bang >"wow anon you didn't even use protection, what if I become pregnant hehe" >I know what I'm doing, I always pull out >"still it can happen with precum" >???? Can it really /b/ ?? Are there mini anons running around made from pre mayo? I'm scurred.

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he is too far gone | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/19/21(Tue)04:27:56 No.65818129 >There's people in this world that can get off to like bikini pics and don't have to watch Japanese business women kick a guy in the nuts to get off 16 KB JPG
: Anonymous 10/19/21(Tue)04:27:56 No.65818129 >There's people in this world that can get off to like bikini pics and don't have to watch Japanese business women kick a guy in the nuts to get off 16 KB JPG

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Anon isnt survivalpilled | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)15:31:35 No.877563391 36880125-9924-4D14-BEF6-157A0FACB2B3.png 345 KB PNG Ok urgent situation anons I need your help. Especially if you are survivalpilled > be me > 20, virgin, finally get girlfriend > after one week she wants to sleep at my place >I live with my parents and the house is full this weekend > I want to finally get laid so invited her to my summer cottage in the forest > I checked temperature at this weekend and it will be around 10 celsius at the night so around 8 celsius in the cottage during night > mfw there is no electricity at the cottage > mfw there's no heating So can we survive it anons? Like how many blankets will we need? I am really nervous that we gonna die
: Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)15:31:35 No.877563391 36880125-9924-4D14-BEF6-157A0FACB2B3.png 345 KB PNG Ok urgent situation anons I need your help. Especially if you are survivalpilled > be me > 20, virgin, finally get girlfriend > after one week she wants to sleep at my place >I live with my parents and the house is full this weekend > I want to finally get laid so invited her to my summer cottage in the forest > I checked temperature at this weekend and it will be around 10 celsius at the night so around 8 celsius in the cottage during night > mfw there is no electricity at the cottage > mfw there's no heating So can we survive it anons? Like how many blankets will we need? I am really nervous that we gonna die

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Anon plays himself | /r/Greentext

Damaged >mom asks what fast food I want >say mcdonalds >actually want kfc Imao stupid bitch
Damaged >mom asks what fast food I want >say mcdonalds >actually want kfc Imao stupid bitch

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Why yes, I am a Millenial. How could you tell? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: RbCr6kj+ ) 02/22/21(Mon)20:57:05 No.29440241 >You have 10 seconds to be as millennial as possible. 72 KB JPG : Anonymous (ID: 5q1RlmEk 02/22/21(Mon)20:58:52 No.29440372 >>29440241 (OP) # >Sol was sucking my girlfriend's c--- and it reminded me of an IPA I had the other day. >>29440554 # >>29440638 # >>29440718 # >>29440722 # >>29440814 # >>29441291 # >>29442639 # >>29442675 # >>29443626 # >>29449393 #
: Anonymous (ID: RbCr6kj+ ) 02/22/21(Mon)20:57:05 No.29440241 >You have 10 seconds to be as millennial as possible. 72 KB JPG : Anonymous (ID: 5q1RlmEk 02/22/21(Mon)20:58:52 No.29440372 >>29440241 (OP) # >Sol was sucking my girlfriend's c--- and it reminded me of an IPA I had the other day. >>29440554 # >>29440638 # >>29440718 # >>29440722 # >>29440814 # >>29441291 # >>29442639 # >>29442675 # >>29443626 # >>29449393 #

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You thought | /r/Greentext

>be elected President with under 50% of the popular vote >be most unpopular president in American history >have almost no political experience >be called radical, funny-looking 47 KB JPG buffoonish moron >fail major debates (according to the press) >Democrats threaten secession nationwide >riots kick off in major cities across country >see approval rating fall below 35-40% almost immediately >get called fascist nutjob and tyrant by all the press >watch as nation erupts into frenzied political violence and chaos between fringe factions >be President Abraham Lincoln >pic unrelated
>be elected President with under 50% of the popular vote >be most unpopular president in American history >have almost no political experience >be called radical, funny-looking 47 KB JPG buffoonish moron >fail major debates (according to the press) >Democrats threaten secession nationwide >riots kick off in major cities across country >see approval rating fall below 35-40% almost immediately >get called fascist nutjob and tyrant by all the press >watch as nation erupts into frenzied political violence and chaos between fringe factions >be President Abraham Lincoln >pic unrelated

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Anon attempts cooking | /r/Greentext

times you've f----- up? Il begin: >be me >greekfag, 14 yo >went to my uncles place for some PS2 action 15 KB JPG >playing TY the tasmanian tiger >get hungry >idea: ill cook some fries >what could possibly go wrong >put some oil >leave it >go back to playing >remember about it 2 hours later >s--- >this m----------- is hot as s--- >decide to throw in a test potato >grab the potato >keep a good distance away from the oil (genius idea) >three-point shoot that m----------- inside the oil >the potato instantly becomes enough smoke to make me unable to see and hotbox the f------ apartment >oh f---.mp5 >quickly get the oil off heat >mom sees smoke coming out of window >thinks i've burned alive >calls fire department >fire department breaks down door >they see a retarded kid crying next to some potatoes >mfw
times you've f----- up? Il begin: >be me >greekfag, 14 yo >went to my uncles place for some PS2 action 15 KB JPG >playing TY the tasmanian tiger >get hungry >idea: ill cook some fries >what could possibly go wrong >put some oil >leave it >go back to playing >remember about it 2 hours later >s--- >this m----------- is hot as s--- >decide to throw in a test potato >grab the potato >keep a good distance away from the oil (genius idea) >three-point shoot that m----------- inside the oil >the potato instantly becomes enough smoke to make me unable to see and hotbox the f------ apartment >oh f---.mp5 >quickly get the oil off heat >mom sees smoke coming out of window >thinks i've burned alive >calls fire department >fire department breaks down door >they see a retarded kid crying next to some potatoes >mfw

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Anon becomes gay | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/15/19(Fri)08:03:10 No.792689080 Got back from weird Valentine's date. >be me. 5'4" 103lb straight guy >forever alone in 93 KB JPG "friendzone" because of my size >6'4" bear at work says he'll take me out for dinner because he can tell I'm down. >fast forward end of night l'm sucking his d--- and he's telling me how hot I am >Never in life been told l'm hot F--- it. I guess I'm gay now.
: Anonymous 02/15/19(Fri)08:03:10 No.792689080 Got back from weird Valentine's date. >be me. 5'4" 103lb straight guy >forever alone in 93 KB JPG "friendzone" because of my size >6'4" bear at work says he'll take me out for dinner because he can tell I'm down. >fast forward end of night l'm sucking his d--- and he's telling me how hot I am >Never in life been told l'm hot F--- it. I guess I'm gay now.

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Anons are Avril Lavigne | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)01:42:27 No.877530261 Everyone you know is Avril Lavigne in disguise. She has the ability to be in more than one place at the same time, and she's been fooling you your whole life. 1.05 MB JPG When you're not in the room, the people you know converge back into one Avril and she laughs at you behind your back.
: Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)01:42:27 No.877530261 Everyone you know is Avril Lavigne in disguise. She has the ability to be in more than one place at the same time, and she's been fooling you your whole life. 1.05 MB JPG When you're not in the room, the people you know converge back into one Avril and she laughs at you behind your back.

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Anon enjoys the weather | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)14:07:12 No.5554705 spri-Sc. >May >hot temperature kicks in >all the girls at the uni campus wearing tank tops showing off their t------ and tummies it's the simple things in life we enjoy the most, frens
Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)14:07:12 No.5554705 spri-Sc. >May >hot temperature kicks in >all the girls at the uni campus wearing tank tops showing off their t------ and tummies it's the simple things in life we enjoy the most, frens

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Anon stumbles upon Christian Bale | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/26/12(Fri)19:48 No.26791073 File: 1351295311728.jpg-(24 KB, 300x440, christian_bale_2.jpg) >>26790856 >at grocery store >man is checking out in front of me >it's mother f------ Lord God Christian Bale >"That'll be 26.77 sir" >Bale looks the girl in the f------ eyes with the most intense glare imaginable >"No it isn't." >girl starts sweating, hands fumbling >"Umm, sorry sir, I, uh, must have been, oh please God, umm, wrong." >Bale nods slowly >"Bag my mother f------ groceries." >girl carefully puts stuff in the bags >Bale watches carefully with a stoic glance of pure Alpha >"Watch the eggs, I promised my daughter a cake." >girl starts shaking even harder, manages to finish bagging. >Bale stares at her blankly for a few moments, he doesn't move. >"Thanks." >hands her a fifty >"keep the change." >starts to walk away, stops and turns around >hands her another fifty >nods to cashier with a slight smile >looks at me >ohfuck.jpeg >smiles and winks at me >Bale walks out >cashier wont even ring me up, she starts masturbating on the spot >I start masturbating too >Bale's face when
Anonymous 10/26/12(Fri)19:48 No.26791073 File: 1351295311728.jpg-(24 KB, 300x440, christian_bale_2.jpg) >>26790856 >at grocery store >man is checking out in front of me >it's mother f------ Lord God Christian Bale >"That'll be 26.77 sir" >Bale looks the girl in the f------ eyes with the most intense glare imaginable >"No it isn't." >girl starts sweating, hands fumbling >"Umm, sorry sir, I, uh, must have been, oh please God, umm, wrong." >Bale nods slowly >"Bag my mother f------ groceries." >girl carefully puts stuff in the bags >Bale watches carefully with a stoic glance of pure Alpha >"Watch the eggs, I promised my daughter a cake." >girl starts shaking even harder, manages to finish bagging. >Bale stares at her blankly for a few moments, he doesn't move. >"Thanks." >hands her a fifty >"keep the change." >starts to walk away, stops and turns around >hands her another fifty >nods to cashier with a slight smile >looks at me >ohfuck.jpeg >smiles and winks at me >Bale walks out >cashier wont even ring me up, she starts masturbating on the spot >I start masturbating too >Bale's face when

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anon is not so different | /r/Greentext

>in my room >dad yelling at me because abusive >calls me a retard >autism kicks in >"takes one to know one" 143 KB PNG he's throwing bottles at me now what do i do
>in my room >dad yelling at me because abusive >calls me a retard >autism kicks in >"takes one to know one" 143 KB PNG he's throwing bottles at me now what do i do

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Anon is delusional | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)12:57:46 No.877557089 >be me >post as much nice stuff in /b/ as possible without being cringe >be a d------- to people posting p---/negative things >start noticing a very slight shift in /b/s mood 62 KB GIF >feelsgoodman 3 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)13:01:37 No.877557188 >>877557089 (OP) # Dear diary, Today the f----- felt a sense of accomplishment because he tried to purify the water in the latrine with his tongue. >>877557325 #
: Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)12:57:46 No.877557089 >be me >post as much nice stuff in /b/ as possible without being cringe >be a d------- to people posting p---/negative things >start noticing a very slight shift in /b/s mood 62 KB GIF >feelsgoodman 3 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 05/05/22(Thu)13:01:37 No.877557188 >>877557089 (OP) # Dear diary, Today the f----- felt a sense of accomplishment because he tried to purify the water in the latrine with his tongue. >>877557325 #

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