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Greentext Stories - Images (46,940 results)

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anon's on the path to become a valedictorian | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Guys am I in trouble? 257 KB PNG 06/14/22(Tue)19:27:50 No.69046266 >be me >in communications class in college >task is to create a 5 minute presentation on anything you want >everyone chose normal subjects like sports, fitness, their pet >I tried to be funny by making a presentation titled "how to do a 5 minute presentation" >plugged in USB and started >intentionally linked a broken video, asked the teacher for help, said never mind I'll continue >revealed the first step being "1. link a broken video" >fiddled with the remote for 10 seconds then flipped the slide to "2. pretend the remote isn't working" >dropped it slide 3 "3. drop the remote" >not a single person laughed in the entire room and I started feeling super awkward, tried to continue >teacher told me to sit down and I'm wasting everyone's time and if I didn't actually prepare anything I should've said so >awkward silence until the next person went up >teacher emailed me to meet with the counselor tomorrow about this what the f--- bros this seemed funny in my mind but in execution it was absolutely terrible am i retarded or some s--- what's the most amount of trouble i can get in for this s---
Anonymous Guys am I in trouble? 257 KB PNG 06/14/22(Tue)19:27:50 No.69046266 >be me >in communications class in college >task is to create a 5 minute presentation on anything you want >everyone chose normal subjects like sports, fitness, their pet >I tried to be funny by making a presentation titled "how to do a 5 minute presentation" >plugged in USB and started >intentionally linked a broken video, asked the teacher for help, said never mind I'll continue >revealed the first step being "1. link a broken video" >fiddled with the remote for 10 seconds then flipped the slide to "2. pretend the remote isn't working" >dropped it slide 3 "3. drop the remote" >not a single person laughed in the entire room and I started feeling super awkward, tried to continue >teacher told me to sit down and I'm wasting everyone's time and if I didn't actually prepare anything I should've said so >awkward silence until the next person went up >teacher emailed me to meet with the counselor tomorrow about this what the f--- bros this seemed funny in my mind but in execution it was absolutely terrible am i retarded or some s--- what's the most amount of trouble i can get in for this s---

Greentext Stories

Anon breaks the seal. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: bMWUKZNf 07/12/25(Sat)00:28:33 No.510160586 >>510159538 (OP) # >be me, 13 yrs old >edgy af >my best friend Steven invites me over to watch Angel Cop >Steven's dad comes in >"Hiya guys, watchya watching?" >Angel Cop. It's set in a fictional universe where Japan is the economic center of the world >"That would never work. Japan is tiny" >Israel is tiny yet it completely controls America >" Steven, I need to talk to you in the other room" >He was gone like 15 seconds >Anon, you gotta go >>510167517 #
Anonymous (ID: bMWUKZNf 07/12/25(Sat)00:28:33 No.510160586 >>510159538 (OP) # >be me, 13 yrs old >edgy af >my best friend Steven invites me over to watch Angel Cop >Steven's dad comes in >"Hiya guys, watchya watching?" >Angel Cop. It's set in a fictional universe where Japan is the economic center of the world >"That would never work. Japan is tiny" >Israel is tiny yet it completely controls America >" Steven, I need to talk to you in the other room" >He was gone like 15 seconds >Anon, you gotta go >>510167517 #

Greentext Stories

Anon...... | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous cter 17 KB JPG : Anonymous 07/12/25(Sat)01:19:23 No.81799240 >anons unironically think girls will never fall in love with them >they are genuinely oblivious to their external and internal beauty >they have no idea just how happy they can make someone >they, in all unironical seriousness, don't know that they're the dream guy for many girls 07/12/25(Sat) 01:20:56 No.81799260 my mom told me my eyes are brown because im full of s--- shes right probably
: Anonymous cter 17 KB JPG : Anonymous 07/12/25(Sat)01:19:23 No.81799240 >anons unironically think girls will never fall in love with them >they are genuinely oblivious to their external and internal beauty >they have no idea just how happy they can make someone >they, in all unironical seriousness, don't know that they're the dream guy for many girls 07/12/25(Sat) 01:20:56 No.81799260 my mom told me my eyes are brown because im full of s--- shes right probably

Greentext Stories

Anon applies the Coolwater Ballsack Cologne | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: QRZ6mIN/) 02/22/13(Fri)19:53:12 No.460569561 Replies: >>460569842 >>460569978 >Get really f------ interested in pheromones >Don't want to buy my own >Decide to college it off my body >Tried shaving my armpits and getting the oils from there - smelled like BO. Couldn't use it. >Be a /fit/izen >Realize how sweaty my balls can get after a good cardio sessions when I'm cutting >Shower first >Do the said cardio >Collect ballsweat in bag >Doesn't smell like balls surprisingly >Mix it with a little bit of Coolwater cologne >Wear it >The next day receive the biggest f------ glares from guys I come into contact with, super f------ hostile >Women f------ all up on my s--- all day long >Go out partying with friends later that night >Apply Coolwater B------- Cologne >End up having a threesome with a 8/10 Philipino girl and her 9/10 white friend. B------- Cologne. Try it. Anonymous (ID: bH0f8p6x) 02/22/13(Fri)19:54:30 No. 460569842 >>460569561 Legit?, wouldn't you have a faint tinge of balls on you? Anonymous (ID: rB7icMwL) 02/22/13(Fri)19:55:11 No.460569978 File: 1361580911683.jpg-(17 KB, 300x257, morpheus.jpg) >>460569561 Wut.
Anonymous (ID: QRZ6mIN/) 02/22/13(Fri)19:53:12 No.460569561 Replies: >>460569842 >>460569978 >Get really f------ interested in pheromones >Don't want to buy my own >Decide to college it off my body >Tried shaving my armpits and getting the oils from there - smelled like BO. Couldn't use it. >Be a /fit/izen >Realize how sweaty my balls can get after a good cardio sessions when I'm cutting >Shower first >Do the said cardio >Collect ballsweat in bag >Doesn't smell like balls surprisingly >Mix it with a little bit of Coolwater cologne >Wear it >The next day receive the biggest f------ glares from guys I come into contact with, super f------ hostile >Women f------ all up on my s--- all day long >Go out partying with friends later that night >Apply Coolwater B------- Cologne >End up having a threesome with a 8/10 Philipino girl and her 9/10 white friend. B------- Cologne. Try it. Anonymous (ID: bH0f8p6x) 02/22/13(Fri)19:54:30 No. 460569842 >>460569561 Legit?, wouldn't you have a faint tinge of balls on you? Anonymous (ID: rB7icMwL) 02/22/13(Fri)19:55:11 No.460569978 File: 1361580911683.jpg-(17 KB, 300x257, morpheus.jpg) >>460569561 Wut.

Greentext Stories

Anon gets gun advice | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/15/13(Thu)15:48 No. 17576199 Replies: >>17576239 >>17576190 I read a simple gun cleaning guide on the interwebs that said "lube all moving parts ALL OF THEM" later that day I encountered a post on /k/ that mentioned avoiding lubing the gas chamber. I don't know if I did bad or not Anonymous 08/15/13(Thu)15:53 No. 17576239 Replies: >>17576260 >>17576282 File: 1376596415405.jpg-(17 KB, 402x402, image.jpg) G >>17576199 Of course you're supposed to lube the gas chamber. It makes it so much easier to clean the filth that gets deposited there when you're done. Anonymous 08/15/13(Thu)15:57 No. 17576260 Replies: >>17576275 >>17576239 tone of this post is sarcastic, can't tell if serious or not. Anonymous 08/15/13(Thu)15:58 No. 17576275 Replies: >>17576282 File: 1376596712741.jpg-(9 KB, 204x127, image.jpg) G >>17576260 Anonymous 08/15/13(Thu)16:00 No. 17576282 Replies: >>17576292 >>17576295 >>17576320 >>17576339 >>17576239 >>17576275 can someone other than f------ hitler answer my question about lubing sks gas tube? If I need to wipe it off I can do that in about 3 minutes Anonymous 08/15/13(Thu)16:01 No. 17576292 Replies: >>17576329 File: 1376596912771.jpg-(9 KB, 131x148, image.jpg) GO >>17576282 But I'm the undisputed master of all gas-related systems. Anonymous 08/15/13(Thu)16:02 No. 17576295 Replies: >>17576321 >>17576357 >>17576423 >>17576495 >>17577070 >>17579635 >>17576282 >>can someone other than f------ hitler answer my question? This should be a banner. Anonymous 08/15/13(Thu)16:04 No. 17576320 File: 1376597075708.jpg-(28 KB, 336x315, 1329501628082.jpg) GI >>17576282 >Can someone other than f------ hitler answer my question
Anonymous 08/15/13(Thu)15:48 No. 17576199 Replies: >>17576239 >>17576190 I read a simple gun cleaning guide on the interwebs that said "lube all moving parts ALL OF THEM" later that day I encountered a post on /k/ that mentioned avoiding lubing the gas chamber. I don't know if I did bad or not Anonymous 08/15/13(Thu)15:53 No. 17576239 Replies: >>17576260 >>17576282 File: 1376596415405.jpg-(17 KB, 402x402, image.jpg) G >>17576199 Of course you're supposed to lube the gas chamber. It makes it so much easier to clean the filth that gets deposited there when you're done. Anonymous 08/15/13(Thu)15:57 No. 17576260 Replies: >>17576275 >>17576239 tone of this post is sarcastic, can't tell if serious or not. Anonymous 08/15/13(Thu)15:58 No. 17576275 Replies: >>17576282 File: 1376596712741.jpg-(9 KB, 204x127, image.jpg) G >>17576260 Anonymous 08/15/13(Thu)16:00 No. 17576282 Replies: >>17576292 >>17576295 >>17576320 >>17576339 >>17576239 >>17576275 can someone other than f------ hitler answer my question about lubing sks gas tube? If I need to wipe it off I can do that in about 3 minutes Anonymous 08/15/13(Thu)16:01 No. 17576292 Replies: >>17576329 File: 1376596912771.jpg-(9 KB, 131x148, image.jpg) GO >>17576282 But I'm the undisputed master of all gas-related systems. Anonymous 08/15/13(Thu)16:02 No. 17576295 Replies: >>17576321 >>17576357 >>17576423 >>17576495 >>17577070 >>17579635 >>17576282 >>can someone other than f------ hitler answer my question? This should be a banner. Anonymous 08/15/13(Thu)16:04 No. 17576320 File: 1376597075708.jpg-(28 KB, 336x315, 1329501628082.jpg) GI >>17576282 >Can someone other than f------ hitler answer my question

Greentext Stories

Anon was gifted | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/10/20(Tue)21:02:06 No.89885099 10 KB PNG > be me, 7 years old > math class in a public brainrot factory > teacher asks 'what's 20 minus 25?" > raise hand with full confidence > say "it's negative five!" > teacher looks like I summoned demons > "w-well yes but you're not supposed to know that yet" > wat.exe > she explains we haven't learned negatives yet so don't use them" > I ask "then how does the weather work?" >"I see -1°C on TV all the time" >teacher visibly glitches > you're supposed to learn that next year >"but I know it now" > "just write 0 so you don't confuse anyone" > refuse to commit math fraud > ask why I should write something false > start getting emotional because I'm still 7 > voice cracking, holding back tears while explaining integers > teacher writes me up for bad behavior > parents ground me and take my Pokémon cards > just wanted to be factually correct >mfw penalized for being ahead of curriculum >mfw it's been 15 years and I still feel rage
Anonymous 02/10/20(Tue)21:02:06 No.89885099 10 KB PNG > be me, 7 years old > math class in a public brainrot factory > teacher asks 'what's 20 minus 25?" > raise hand with full confidence > say "it's negative five!" > teacher looks like I summoned demons > "w-well yes but you're not supposed to know that yet" > wat.exe > she explains we haven't learned negatives yet so don't use them" > I ask "then how does the weather work?" >"I see -1°C on TV all the time" >teacher visibly glitches > you're supposed to learn that next year >"but I know it now" > "just write 0 so you don't confuse anyone" > refuse to commit math fraud > ask why I should write something false > start getting emotional because I'm still 7 > voice cracking, holding back tears while explaining integers > teacher writes me up for bad behavior > parents ground me and take my Pokémon cards > just wanted to be factually correct >mfw penalized for being ahead of curriculum >mfw it's been 15 years and I still feel rage

Greentext Stories

Anon talks about what every 4chan user wants in a wife | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 183 KB JPG 04/22/20(Wed)22:36:53 No.72166668 See I always see Succubus this, Incubus that. Want to know what I think is the real danger? Sloth Demons. Imagine it- a big tidied sloth demon- she doesn't embody the sin, she exists to tempt you into it. She wants you to waste away contributing nothing to society. You want to know the easiest way for her to do that? Take care of all your needs- do all the cooking and cleaning, and just cuddle with you on the couch all day, as all you do is eat pizza, watch anime, and play video-games, contributing nothing to society. You're not going to be the man who cures cancer-you aren't going to be the man who becomes president. You're going to be the man who sits all day with his face buried in his girlfriends sweater puppies while you two play Mario Kart until you die of natural causes. >>72166883 # >>72167624 # >>72169026 # >>72184620 #
Anonymous 183 KB JPG 04/22/20(Wed)22:36:53 No.72166668 See I always see Succubus this, Incubus that. Want to know what I think is the real danger? Sloth Demons. Imagine it- a big tidied sloth demon- she doesn't embody the sin, she exists to tempt you into it. She wants you to waste away contributing nothing to society. You want to know the easiest way for her to do that? Take care of all your needs- do all the cooking and cleaning, and just cuddle with you on the couch all day, as all you do is eat pizza, watch anime, and play video-games, contributing nothing to society. You're not going to be the man who cures cancer-you aren't going to be the man who becomes president. You're going to be the man who sits all day with his face buried in his girlfriends sweater puppies while you two play Mario Kart until you die of natural causes. >>72166883 # >>72167624 # >>72169026 # >>72184620 #

Greentext Stories

Not-So-Anon Gets Detected | /r/Greentext

Woah, is that a Reeses rifle? Matt Peter 52m → >Talking with female coworker at the gun counter >My eyes drift down toward the case because I have Asperger's and don't like eye contact >She lowers her face into my view and asks "Are you undiagnosed?" I've been made.
Woah, is that a Reeses rifle? Matt Peter 52m → >Talking with female coworker at the gun counter >My eyes drift down toward the case because I have Asperger's and don't like eye contact >She lowers her face into my view and asks "Are you undiagnosed?" I've been made.

Greentext Stories

Anon talks too much | /r/Greentext

guy I'm gay attracted to men
guy I'm gay attracted to men

Greentext Stories

Anon makes a wise choice. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/11/25(Fri)18:03:00 No.81793985 Fellas, would you rather: >approach a conventionally attractive women IRL or >fight a grizzly bear 143 KB PNG Anonymous 07/11/25(Fri)18:08:39 No.81794035 Fight the bear. At least the bear will kill me relatively quickly compared to the woman.
Anonymous 07/11/25(Fri)18:03:00 No.81793985 Fellas, would you rather: >approach a conventionally attractive women IRL or >fight a grizzly bear 143 KB PNG Anonymous 07/11/25(Fri)18:08:39 No.81794035 Fight the bear. At least the bear will kill me relatively quickly compared to the woman.

Greentext Stories

Anons a bratty catboi | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 72 KB JPG 07/07/25(Mon)14:48:44 No.81743770 'turns catboy ears backwards, insinuating im mad' uuOoohh anonnnnn.. why? why wont you breed my little hole.. you said you would tonight! grr 'scratches anon.' yeah?! I just scratched you with my catboy claws.. and what anonn? You don't have it in you to hurt me.. you wouldn't want to see me cry would you? Actually.. with how you're acting, you will be seeing me cry very soon if I don't get my way anon.. ..you're tired from work? Well.. I don't care! I want to be bred anon, you know i'm in heat right now and you're being cruel by denying me this.. I need it.. 'paws at you' breed me 'paws at you' breed mee
Anonymous 72 KB JPG 07/07/25(Mon)14:48:44 No.81743770 'turns catboy ears backwards, insinuating im mad' uuOoohh anonnnnn.. why? why wont you breed my little hole.. you said you would tonight! grr 'scratches anon.' yeah?! I just scratched you with my catboy claws.. and what anonn? You don't have it in you to hurt me.. you wouldn't want to see me cry would you? Actually.. with how you're acting, you will be seeing me cry very soon if I don't get my way anon.. ..you're tired from work? Well.. I don't care! I want to be bred anon, you know i'm in heat right now and you're being cruel by denying me this.. I need it.. 'paws at you' breed me 'paws at you' breed mee

Greentext Stories

Secret Sibling | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/27/17(Fri)17:29:57 No. 749317098 >>749315451 (OP) # >Be me >Grow up with mom who abuses me, but still claims she loves me >Grow up as only child >Grow up not knowing dad >Time passes >Dad dies, never get to know him >Find out I have half sister, who's 18, I'm 12 >After all these years alone, I figure out I'm not >Mom knew, she never told me >Move in with grandma after huge fight >Eventually get my half sister's facebook by simply looking up her name >We actually look alike, dark hair, blue eyes, except I have a stronger jaw >She's a solid 9/10, not even lying >Send her one message >"Hi" >Weeks pass, she hasn't read it >Then one day, she reads it >I get so happy >But, she never responds >Get no contact from her for 6 1/2 years >Until one day she calls me You know what she asks for? Money.
: Anonymous 10/27/17(Fri)17:29:57 No. 749317098 >>749315451 (OP) # >Be me >Grow up with mom who abuses me, but still claims she loves me >Grow up as only child >Grow up not knowing dad >Time passes >Dad dies, never get to know him >Find out I have half sister, who's 18, I'm 12 >After all these years alone, I figure out I'm not >Mom knew, she never told me >Move in with grandma after huge fight >Eventually get my half sister's facebook by simply looking up her name >We actually look alike, dark hair, blue eyes, except I have a stronger jaw >She's a solid 9/10, not even lying >Send her one message >"Hi" >Weeks pass, she hasn't read it >Then one day, she reads it >I get so happy >But, she never responds >Get no contact from her for 6 1/2 years >Until one day she calls me You know what she asks for? Money.

Greentext Stories

Anon needs a smoke break | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 496 KB GIF >Headache 07/11/25(Fri)15:24:05 No.81792976 >Work with chemicals >Decide to forgo a gasmask for this small batch >Breath it in >Lungs start feeling like mint & burning >Coughing >Done with it, go on break >Coughing a lot, lungs still hurt >Nose bleed for like 20 minutes >Don't go to the doctor, don't tell anyone I hope I pass away painlessly in my sleep..... Anonymous >>81792976 (OP) # 07/11/25(Fri)15:25:18 No.81792992 What kind of chemicals, anon? Anonymous >>81792976 (OP) # what kinda chemical, OP? >painless death >nose bleed 07/11/25(Fri)15:26:19 No.81793003 n---- your brain is probably desolving as we speak aiku >>81792976 (OP) # go to a hospital anon 07/11/25(Fri)15:26:25 No.81793004
Anonymous 496 KB GIF >Headache 07/11/25(Fri)15:24:05 No.81792976 >Work with chemicals >Decide to forgo a gasmask for this small batch >Breath it in >Lungs start feeling like mint & burning >Coughing >Done with it, go on break >Coughing a lot, lungs still hurt >Nose bleed for like 20 minutes >Don't go to the doctor, don't tell anyone I hope I pass away painlessly in my sleep..... Anonymous >>81792976 (OP) # 07/11/25(Fri)15:25:18 No.81792992 What kind of chemicals, anon? Anonymous >>81792976 (OP) # what kinda chemical, OP? >painless death >nose bleed 07/11/25(Fri)15:26:19 No.81793003 n---- your brain is probably desolving as we speak aiku >>81792976 (OP) # go to a hospital anon 07/11/25(Fri)15:26:25 No.81793004

Greentext Stories

They dropped the ball | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/11/25(Fri)04:35:39 No.715095832 FOR HONOR 1724530326569862.jpg 171 KB JPG >Create the most unique and dynamic fighting game since the genres inception >completely f--- it up with power creep and fortnite emotes
Anonymous 07/11/25(Fri)04:35:39 No.715095832 FOR HONOR 1724530326569862.jpg 171 KB JPG >Create the most unique and dynamic fighting game since the genres inception >completely f--- it up with power creep and fortnite emotes

Greentext Stories

Banana phone | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: BDdifEJ/ ) No shootout needed 07/10/25(Thu)16:19:14 No.510050137 >Driving to work michael_bolton.jpg 23 KB JPG >Eating my banana at a red light >Landscaping truck pulls up next to me >Start hearing voices so look over >The entire crew is laughing at me >California native so I know enough Spanish to know when I'm being made fun of >Grab my phone >DHS/ICE hotline already in contacts >Call on speakerphone with full volume >Report the name on the truck, phone number, and license >Mood in the truck flips immediately >They cut over to the turn line >They run the red to make a u-turn >They speed back the way they came >Continue to eat my banana Damn it feels good to be a gangsta.
Anonymous (ID: BDdifEJ/ ) No shootout needed 07/10/25(Thu)16:19:14 No.510050137 >Driving to work michael_bolton.jpg 23 KB JPG >Eating my banana at a red light >Landscaping truck pulls up next to me >Start hearing voices so look over >The entire crew is laughing at me >California native so I know enough Spanish to know when I'm being made fun of >Grab my phone >DHS/ICE hotline already in contacts >Call on speakerphone with full volume >Report the name on the truck, phone number, and license >Mood in the truck flips immediately >They cut over to the turn line >They run the red to make a u-turn >They speed back the way they came >Continue to eat my banana Damn it feels good to be a gangsta.

Greentext Stories

Least Lonely Anon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 35 KB JPG 04/17/19(Wed)16:31:29 No.51985535 >buy big pillow >spray female perfume on it >hug it while laying in bed imagining its a qt girl >kiss it and whisper "i love you, good night" >pillow never says anything back >feel even sadder while falling asleep What level of loneliness are you on?
Anonymous 35 KB JPG 04/17/19(Wed)16:31:29 No.51985535 >buy big pillow >spray female perfume on it >hug it while laying in bed imagining its a qt girl >kiss it and whisper "i love you, good night" >pillow never says anything back >feel even sadder while falling asleep What level of loneliness are you on?

Greentext Stories
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