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Just Slightly Petty

i liv. @liv_thatsme Me *gets interrupted mid-sentence* "Oh, hey sorry; finish your story." Me *employing my usual level of maturity*: No I don't want to now.

i liv. @liv_thatsme Me *gets interrupted mid-sentence* "Oh, hey sorry; finish your story." Me *employing my usual level of maturity*: No I don't want to now.

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The Regret

When your nose is stuffed and you just sit there and think about the time when it wasn't stuffed and how you took breathing freely for granted

When your nose is stuffed and you just sit there and think about the time when it wasn't stuffed and how you took breathing freely for granted

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Seriously Though

GRung Phan 2020 2024

GRung Phan 2020 2024

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Terrifying

Panasonic created a fridge that drives to you when called Nat H @LeftAtLondon INSIDER Nope I do NOT wanna get high one night & see my fridge chasing me

Panasonic created a fridge that drives to you when called Nat H @LeftAtLondon INSIDER Nope I do NOT wanna get high one night & see my fridge chasing me

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Strangely Accurate

when u see the ppl who were popular in high school again

when u see the ppl who were popular in high school again

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???

why do the woman never have to take a DNA test to see if it's their child Really Dumb Tweets @rllydumbtweetsi i have no hope for humans anymore

why do the woman never have to take a DNA test to see if it's their child Really Dumb Tweets @rllydumbtweetsi i have no hope for humans anymore

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Sigh

when my energy all of sudden shifts and im in a drained mood and kinda just wanna be in someones arms & sleep for a good few days but the world doesnt want that for me

when my energy all of sudden shifts and im in a drained mood and kinda just wanna be in someones arms & sleep for a good few days but the world doesnt want that for me

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The Betrayal

person: "dogs are so loyal" that persons dog when they open the front door:

person: "dogs are so loyal" that persons dog when they open the front door:

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Yep

Goodnight everyone :) (anybody else sleep in the Master Chief death pose???) settyimage

Goodnight everyone :) (anybody else sleep in the Master Chief death pose???) settyimage

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Really Needed That

Ray Thanks for the clarification, Dad. I with Raylin I Joe 7 mins t Happy 21st Birthday to my beautiful daughter (left) Raylin! mesdison C

Ray Thanks for the clarification, Dad. I with Raylin I Joe 7 mins t Happy 21st Birthday to my beautiful daughter (left) Raylin! mesdison C

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Sounds Nice Honestly

IG: clarkebetz @dovenymph There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your 5 best friends and 10 dogs.

IG: clarkebetz @dovenymph There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your 5 best friends and 10 dogs.

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That's Life

Kevin The Dad @kevinthedad I brought my son home from kindergarten and he asked "is it the weekend yet?" Nope. It's Monday. You'll get used to this feeling kiddo.

Kevin The Dad @kevinthedad I brought my son home from kindergarten and he asked "is it the weekend yet?" Nope. It's Monday. You'll get used to this feeling kiddo.

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Technically He Can

i am so tired 11:32 kelsey @spinachluvr 306 Dad > 5GE can you talk real quick Delivered Not like an auctioneer but I can talk faster than normal if I try really hard.

i am so tired 11:32 kelsey @spinachluvr 306 Dad > 5GE can you talk real quick Delivered Not like an auctioneer but I can talk faster than normal if I try really hard.

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Geez...

Suz @OhhhhSuzanna Are you actually "low maintenance" or did you just internalize at a young age that the less resources, attention and energy you require, the more lovable you are? So you take the least amount space possible??? Because you think you're unlovable if you express desires or needs??? 9:56 AM 26 Dec 22 from Florida, USA

Suz @OhhhhSuzanna Are you actually "low maintenance" or did you just internalize at a young age that the less resources, attention and energy you require, the more lovable you are? So you take the least amount space possible??? Because you think you're unlovable if you express desires or needs??? 9:56 AM 26 Dec 22 from Florida, USA

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Crying Inside

*total is $11, gives cashier $20 Cashier: Do you have an additional $1 so l can give you $10? Me: HOUSE. DRAGON MEMES

*total is $11, gives cashier $20 Cashier: Do you have an additional $1 so l can give you $10? Me: HOUSE. DRAGON MEMES

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Works Every Time

@Kanye868 How do you politely tell your visitor that it's time to go home? If you're from the midwest, you just say "welp" really forcefully and slap your knees with your hands, then stand up. Other midwesterners will recognize the signal and say "spose we should head out" 1h Like Reply 29

@Kanye868 How do you politely tell your visitor that it's time to go home? If you're from the midwest, you just say "welp" really forcefully and slap your knees with your hands, then stand up. Other midwesterners will recognize the signal and say "spose we should head out" 1h Like Reply 29

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That's Awkward

elsie @activesandal Gyno: what's your tattoo say Me: it's nothing don't even worry about it Gyno: "if... you can- Me: fine it says "if you can read it you can eat it" I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry

elsie @activesandal Gyno: what's your tattoo say Me: it's nothing don't even worry about it Gyno: "if... you can- Me: fine it says "if you can read it you can eat it" I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry

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Ouch

you're really funny lol I wish hot guys could have your sense of humor

you're really funny lol I wish hot guys could have your sense of humor

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That's Rough

D D Dad Don't bring up your sister's feet career during Christmas dinner now Dad She's making more than you with your masters degree. She's our favorite now now

D D Dad Don't bring up your sister's feet career during Christmas dinner now Dad She's making more than you with your masters degree. She's our favorite now now

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Yes

azula @erryone do you ever pretend like you didn't see something so the other person doesn't feel embarrassed 8/5/18, 7:39 PM 72K Retweets 236K Likes 27

azula @erryone do you ever pretend like you didn't see something so the other person doesn't feel embarrassed 8/5/18, 7:39 PM 72K Retweets 236K Likes 27

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