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Midnight Scroll Is Holy

Me at 1:30am: Me at 6am:

Me at 1:30am: Me at 6am:

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What Else Would You Call It?

jen!!! @jennifermerr my therapist asked me to stop calling our weekly session "sad boi hour" which is, to say the least, very rude

jen!!! @jennifermerr my therapist asked me to stop calling our weekly session "sad boi hour" which is, to say the least, very rude

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Slumbercore

"thank god it's the weekend" me Saturday and Sunday:

"thank god it's the weekend" me Saturday and Sunday:

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Facts?

When women say "I want a real man" this is what they mean. You may not like it, but Phil Dunphy is the ideal male archetype.

When women say "I want a real man" this is what they mean. You may not like it, but Phil Dunphy is the ideal male archetype.

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World Full Of Opportunity

Being in your mid-twenties deciding whether to climb the corporate ladder, travel the world, run a marathon, learn 3 languages, study a masters, volunteer, settle down, go sky diving, or get bangs

Being in your mid-twenties deciding whether to climb the corporate ladder, travel the world, run a marathon, learn 3 languages, study a masters, volunteer, settle down, go sky diving, or get bangs

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Acts Of Service

Americans after they hold the door for you Leave a tip? 15% 20% 25%

Americans after they hold the door for you Leave a tip? 15% 20% 25%

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King Of The Internet

When you get 2 upvotes on Reddit

When you get 2 upvotes on Reddit

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Trad Vibes?

MY PARENTS IN THE 1980S LET'S MOVE CLOSER TO A CITY SO WE CAN RAISE A FAMILY IT WILL BE EASIER TO FIND WORK ME IN 2023 WE NEED TO GET AS FAR AWAY FROM CIVILIZATION AS POSSIBLE AND START HOMESTEADING

MY PARENTS IN THE 1980S LET'S MOVE CLOSER TO A CITY SO WE CAN RAISE A FAMILY IT WILL BE EASIER TO FIND WORK ME IN 2023 WE NEED TO GET AS FAR AWAY FROM CIVILIZATION AS POSSIBLE AND START HOMESTEADING

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That was unexpected

In 2018 when the guy I was seeing texted me "Monday night raw?⚫0" So I planned for a night of intense pleasure but instead I ended up here.. CHY RAW

In 2018 when the guy I was seeing texted me "Monday night raw?⚫0" So I planned for a night of intense pleasure but instead I ended up here.. CHY RAW

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Gimme a second

@ghostcheeksss I do not like how Netflix threatens to start the movie while I'm just tryna read the description. Like pls, you making me anxious 7:23 PM 4/16/20 Twitter for iPhone

@ghostcheeksss I do not like how Netflix threatens to start the movie while I'm just tryna read the description. Like pls, you making me anxious 7:23 PM 4/16/20 Twitter for iPhone

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Sounds like a way better life

corri @okiecorri i personally think cinderella should have lived a happy life with all her animal friends rather than settle for a man who had her try on a shoe because he didn't recognize her without makeup

corri @okiecorri i personally think cinderella should have lived a happy life with all her animal friends rather than settle for a man who had her try on a shoe because he didn't recognize her without makeup

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Not that hard, guys!

Andrew Nadeau @TheAndrewNadeau Millennials, quit whining. I paid off $150,000 in student loans and own a $400,000 home, because I SAVE. It's not that hard. I -Make coffee at home -Bus instead of Uber -Shop sales -Had parents pay off my loans & buy me a house because I'm daddy's special boy -Got Hulu with ads

Andrew Nadeau @TheAndrewNadeau Millennials, quit whining. I paid off $150,000 in student loans and own a $400,000 home, because I SAVE. It's not that hard. I -Make coffee at home -Bus instead of Uber -Shop sales -Had parents pay off my loans & buy me a house because I'm daddy's special boy -Got Hulu with ads

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Just doing my job

Kyle @KylePlantEmoji Why do jobs ads always look for people who go "above and beyond" If you have additional requirements, say so and compensate me for it, otherwise I will do exactly what we agreed I'd get paid to do

Kyle @KylePlantEmoji Why do jobs ads always look for people who go "above and beyond" If you have additional requirements, say so and compensate me for it, otherwise I will do exactly what we agreed I'd get paid to do

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Times are tough

jessie electric @JessicaNonGrata Confession time: I'm almost 49 and I have zero retirement savings. No exaggeration. Absolutely nothing. Maybe about $900 in my checking account. No idea W I'm going to do. And I know I can't be the only one.

jessie electric @JessicaNonGrata Confession time: I'm almost 49 and I have zero retirement savings. No exaggeration. Absolutely nothing. Maybe about $900 in my checking account. No idea W I'm going to do. And I know I can't be the only one.

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Thanks, I'm cured

jack dirk goob ara @jackthefrograt parents when u tell them u have a mental illness Carlyn @infinite_karma 2d • You are alive. You have a home. You have a bed. You have food. You have clean water. Be grateful. Show this thread

jack dirk goob ara @jackthefrograt parents when u tell them u have a mental illness Carlyn @infinite_karma 2d • You are alive. You have a home. You have a bed. You have food. You have clean water. Be grateful. Show this thread

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Feeling bashful

Getting compliments from girls your age Getting called "pretty" by a 31 year old woman

Getting compliments from girls your age Getting called "pretty" by a 31 year old woman

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