Poop Knife

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About

Poop Knife refers to the jokes made about a story posted to the /r/confessions subreddit in which a man tells of how he discovered that not every household has a knife specifically for the purpose of cutting up large fecal matter.

Origin

On January 9th, 2018, Reddit user LearnedButt^[1] posted a thread to /r/confessions titled "[Light] I was 22 years old when I learned that not every family has a poop knife." In the story, the user tells about his family takes large poops, and had a knife dedicated for breaking up those poops when they wouldn't flush. When he was 22, he took a large poop at a friend's apartment and asked for a poop knife, leading to his embarrassment. Furthermore, he continued to have a poop knife in his house which his wife used, unknowingly, to open packages, thinking it was a utility knife. the post gained over 26,000 upvotes.

Precursor

On January 14th, 2014, Redditor^[8] gobbluth69 posted a story regarding "poop scissors" in the /r/AskReddit subreddit. The post received more tahn 3,600 points in four years.

Spread

The concept of a dedicated utensil for breaking up fecal matter had appeared on Reddit prior to the LearnedButt post,^[2] but the LearnedButt story brought the attention of news and humor blogs. On January 12th, the post was uploaded to The Chive.^[3] On January 15th, the post was uploaded to the blog pizzabottle,^[4] which also included comments of people saying they too were familiar with the concept of poop knives (shown below). Buzzfeed covered the story on the 16th.^[5]

H Iarnnottouchingewe . 24 points 5 days ago My friends sister laid a huge turd in the toilet. She couldn't get it to flush. So she just casually strolls into kitchen while me and my buddy are watching Friday night videos, and grabs a pocket knife from the junk drawer. Goes back towards the bathroom, my buddy is hey what the eff you need a knife for? So she says the toilet won't flush. Their dad hears this jumps up and runs down to bathroom and screams who the s--- this turd. Which brings mom into the bathroom she freaks out. No all 5 of us are in the throne room in admiration of her magnificent turd. The dad asks what is the knife for and his sister goes it's what I use to cut them. Yeah that's what she said. It was silent until her mom asked how long have you been cutting turds with that knife, I am dying my friend is in tears, well since we are all here I guess the secret is out so I get massive turds on my period mom. So for about six years mom. She goes to leave and her dad grabs her and says cut the cheese sweet pea and that's your knife now. That's it I cant breathe I am laughing so hard. She is in tears her mom is mortified and her dad was trying to be supportive, my buddy and I are being total jackasses. Her dad pulls us aside and threatened to kick the s--- out us if a word of sir turdly of bummertown gets out of the house. We never said a word about it outside of their house but we were brutal to here at home permalink embedsave report roply

Light] was 22 years old when I learned that not every family has a poop knife. r/confession 19627 points 1688 comments MrsWhirly 71 points.5 days ago My family uses a spatula, affectionately referred to as "The Shatula". Obviously, it stays in the upstairs bathroom, which is the proper place to go for such an event, and we don't use it in the kitchen. More comments [Light] was 22 years old when I learned that not every family has a poop knife. r/confession 19622 points 1688 comments Garg and Moonslicer 214 points-5 days ago Hey op. My family doesn't have a poop knife, but we have a poop ruler that cuts up poop. So you aren't alone. More comments

On January 12th, Imgur^[7] user Perfizilla created several photoshopped images of swords, giving them poop-themed names. These images were later compiled in a post by Cheezburger.^[6]

Search Interest

External References

^[1] /r/Confessions: [Light] I was 22 years old when I learned that not every family has a poop knife.

^[2] Reddit – Guy and his friends marvel over his unflushable turd.

^[3] The Chive – Guy reveals bizarre story of how he grew up using a ‘Poop Knife’

^[4] Pizza Bottle – Apparently A Lot Of People Have ‘Poop Knives’ And They’re Worse Than You Think

^[5] Buzzfeed – I Just Learned What A Poop Knife Is And I Refuse To Suffer Alone

^[6] Imgur – Apparently Imgur likes poop knives, here's some poop knife inspired work I did instead of actual work because I have the flu

^[7] Cheezburger – Guy's Humiliating Story About What A Poop Knife Is Leaves Internet In Tears

^[8] Reddit – poop scissors

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