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healthycomfyhappy: blk0912 boredandmoist This time last year I was unemployed, broke, and suicidal. Today, I just got the keys to my first house Give it time. Needed this today when you hear people preach that it gets better, they aren't joking. if it's not better yet, it will be. this post could literally be saving lives rn and that is why i love this website.

healthycomfyhappy: blk0912 boredandmoist This time last year I was unemployed, broke, and suicidal. Today, I just got the keys to my first house Give it time. Needed this today when you hear people preach that it gets better, they aren't joking. if it's not better yet, it will be. this post could literally be saving lives rn and that is why i love this website.

hope tumblr house broke suicidal unemployed keys

mrozna. #coc katie #1 need a big fat c---. need a big fat cockatiel plushie

mrozna. #coc katie #1 need a big fat c---. need a big fat cockatiel plushie

tumblr tags plushie cockatiel

nfamous-gamer. If you raise minimum wage, what's the worst that could happen? Everybody starts being able to afford their rent and allow them to start saving (causing jobs in the bank, also a decline in robbers). Allow, because of their saved money, they can buy a house (which will a, create realtor positions or b, create jobs in construction and engineering). These new house will causee more suburbs (which will cause more people to buy new more environment friendly cars for their drive to work). The increase in revenue will cause new people to start families (which will create teaching positions). Families can afford I send their children to colleg (which will rise a new era of geniuses). We will go to Mars and discover alien life (which will cause the alien to kill Us Moral, raising the minimum wage will result in mass extinction

nfamous-gamer. If you raise minimum wage, what's the worst that could happen? Everybody starts being able to afford their rent and allow them to start saving (causing jobs in the bank, also a decline in robbers). Allow, because of their saved money, they can buy a house (which will a, create realtor positions or b, create jobs in construction and engineering). These new house will causee more suburbs (which will cause more people to buy new more environment friendly cars for their drive to work). The increase in revenue will cause new people to start families (which will create teaching positions). Families can afford I send their children to colleg (which will rise a new era of geniuses). We will go to Mars and discover alien life (which will cause the alien to kill Us Moral, raising the minimum wage will result in mass extinction

money tumblr aliens extinction minimum wage

aimless-void: nyaa "omg you're just blogging for attention" and you're blogging??? for gold? Women? Immortality?

aimless-void: nyaa "omg you're just blogging for attention" and you're blogging??? for gold? Women? Immortality?

blog tumblr super smash brothers attention for glory

Just let the enormity of what's going on here slowly sink in

Just let the enormity of what's going on here slowly sink in

art tumblr rubik's cube enormity

solace-itor ben-c: ben-c my law teacher built a ten foot fence because he hated his neighbour, but the city made him take it down because theres a five foot limit on fences, so he poured five feet of concrete on the ground and then built a five foot fence on top of that and the city tried suing him because it was ten feet but they lost because the actual fence was only five WHAT THE F--- WHY DID THIS GET NOTES because your law teacher defeated the law

solace-itor ben-c: ben-c my law teacher built a ten foot fence because he hated his neighbour, but the city made him take it down because theres a five foot limit on fences, so he poured five feet of concrete on the ground and then built a five foot fence on top of that and the city tried suing him because it was ten feet but they lost because the actual fence was only five WHAT THE F--- WHY DID THIS GET NOTES because your law teacher defeated the law

tumblr fence teacher neighbor law concrete

4kaylum datvikingtho conor-cymex mydogsnokes: i will not buy flowers for a girl because flowers are stupid and worthless and they die like really fast. get a girl a rock. rocks are strong. rocks don't die after 2 days diamond the word you're looking for is diamond Diamonds are overpriced and far too common. Hand-forge a ring. Etch a script into it. Use it to ensnare the world leaders and take over the world. There are literally two trilogies telling you why that is a bad idea

4kaylum datvikingtho conor-cymex mydogsnokes: i will not buy flowers for a girl because flowers are stupid and worthless and they die like really fast. get a girl a rock. rocks are strong. rocks don't die after 2 days diamond the word you're looking for is diamond Diamonds are overpriced and far too common. Hand-forge a ring. Etch a script into it. Use it to ensnare the world leaders and take over the world. There are literally two trilogies telling you why that is a bad idea

ring lord of the rings tumblr rock flower diamond

redarieve A couple is walking in St. Petersburg Square on Christmas Eve. They feel a slight precipitation. "I think it's raining," says the man. "No, it's snowing," replies the woman. How about we ask this Communist officer here? He is always right!" exclaims the man. "Officer Rudolph, is it raining or snowing?" "Definitely raining," Officer Rudolph replies before walking off. The man turns to his wife with a smile. "See? Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."

redarieve A couple is walking in St. Petersburg Square on Christmas Eve. They feel a slight precipitation. "I think it's raining," says the man. "No, it's snowing," replies the woman. How about we ask this Communist officer here? He is always right!" exclaims the man. "Officer Rudolph, is it raining or snowing?" "Definitely raining," Officer Rudolph replies before walking off. The man turns to his wife with a smile. "See? Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."

christmas police reindeer rudolf the rednosed reindeer

Sponsored 、s: Are you a connoisseur of memes? literallysame yes tell me more I'm listening

Sponsored 、s: Are you a connoisseur of memes? literallysame yes tell me more I'm listening

meme connoisseur of memes connoisser sponsership

some legends are told some turn to dust or to gold but you will remember me 10,000 bees

some legends are told some turn to dust or to gold but you will remember me 10,000 bees

Point

chaofanatic krunkidlle Source: marlmaur im 18 years old god damnit. i'm almost 24 how do you think i feel 878 notes

chaofanatic krunkidlle Source: marlmaur im 18 years old god damnit. i'm almost 24 how do you think i feel 878 notes

tumblr donkey kong animated series donkey kong country you may spank it once

Oooo, banana...

anonymous asked l actually do associate you with your icon but moreso the banana for some reason. Like "ah yes, dorkus-galacticus the banana" dorkus-galacticus answered Ok so I was waiting until I was off mobile to answer this because I'm about to explain my long-standing association with bananas aka why this is a very accurate assumption, and it may be a bit lengthy but this was a turning point in my life so here goes Twas the spring of my sixteenth year and I discovered that my school handbook did not expressly forbid wearing costumes to class. My christmas present that year had been an oversized banana suit-you see where this is going- so of course, being the frustrated little s--- I was, full of rebellion and ramen noodles, I showed up with my backpack looking like it had eaten too much cake at a birthday party and threw that yellow m----------- on over a superman shirt and nasty ripped-up jeans on the walk to my biology class It is worth noting here that my biology teacher despised me. I have no idea what started our quiet war, but as soon as she'd made it clear she didn't appreciate my usual shenanigans like some teachers did, I made it my personal mission to terrorize her whenever the opportunity arose, never anything grand, just little things like writing nonsense answers to test questions I didn't know, such as chicken and lampshade for the function of the golgi body, etc... So understand we had history here, and this whole incident was the straw that broke the metaphorical camel's back of our relationship I strutted in and sat down like usual. One of my friends shook her head and covered her face, a couple people snickered, but other than that there wasn't much fuss until the teacher spotted me and started trying to calmly tell me to take the suit off, which of course I said no to and lit into my argument about how the rulebook didn't say l couldnt wear it, I wasn't distracting anybody... and right as she began to boil with rage and take on the wrinkly gnarled form of Satan himself, I heard giggling and looked to the other side of the room, where there was a man sitting in one of those blue plastic chairs all classrooms have that was far too small for him It was the state inspector I had f----- up My teacher of course assumed that l'd heard, somehow somewhere, that this was the day the inspector was visiting and l'd planned my banana-suit day accordingly to make her look bad which I had not done and which explained why she seemed ready to pop several neck veins. Her rage was a good fifty clowns packed into the clowncar of her little body and they were about to start leaping out and spraying me with a fire hose instead of flowers. Meanwhile the state inspector was turning pink as a christmas ham and shaking with laughter, he'd leaned over a desk and had to stop himself from falling out of that tiny chair. Squeaks could be heard eeking out from under his arms as he covered his face. The rest of my classmates were ignoring me as hard as they could manage by looking in every direction I wasn't.I realized I needed to go or face imminent destruction, so I got up and went to the office as my teacher had been stiffly insisting hearing a restrained howl make it out of the inspector as I closed the door behind me The principal was furious, but not as furious as the teacher. He called my mom and had her pick me up and told her I was suspended for the rest of the week. Here was where my superman shirt came into play, this whole time l'd been sitting in then laid eyes on me and stopped dead, abandoning the incomplete handshake and all forms of social protocol and marching across the office toward me with a bellow of "THERE'S MY CHIQUITA BANANA!" It was the state goddamn state inspector. He ran over and straight-up hugged me, insisting that the banana suit incident was the funniest thing he'd ever seen. He gushed and I laughed and introduced myself and by the time my principal had recovered enough from looking like a lost puppy to realize what was going on and be offended by it we were real pals, and the inspector wasn't too thrilled l'd been suspended for the ordeal. Here was this big six-foot man in probably his fifties having a laugh with a sixteen-year-old girl half his size, just slapping each other on the back and acting like old chums, and the principal just didn't know what to do. I think I saw him deflate like a balloon full of mud out of the corner of my eye. I don't know that he ever fully recovered And that's the story of my accidental one-man rebellion against the school system that earned me a permanent association with bananas. The banana suit continues to make appearances in public from time to time, but I like to think it's debut performance was its finest hour

anonymous asked l actually do associate you with your icon but moreso the banana for some reason. Like "ah yes, dorkus-galacticus the banana" dorkus-galacticus answered Ok so I was waiting until I was off mobile to answer this because I'm about to explain my long-standing association with bananas aka why this is a very accurate assumption, and it may be a bit lengthy but this was a turning point in my life so here goes Twas the spring of my sixteenth year and I discovered that my school handbook did not expressly forbid wearing costumes to class. My christmas present that year had been an oversized banana suit-you see where this is going- so of course, being the frustrated little s--- I was, full of rebellion and ramen noodles, I showed up with my backpack looking like it had eaten too much cake at a birthday party and threw that yellow m----------- on over a superman shirt and nasty ripped-up jeans on the walk to my biology class It is worth noting here that my biology teacher despised me. I have no idea what started our quiet war, but as soon as she'd made it clear she didn't appreciate my usual shenanigans like some teachers did, I made it my personal mission to terrorize her whenever the opportunity arose, never anything grand, just little things like writing nonsense answers to test questions I didn't know, such as chicken and lampshade for the function of the golgi body, etc... So understand we had history here, and this whole incident was the straw that broke the metaphorical camel's back of our relationship I strutted in and sat down like usual. One of my friends shook her head and covered her face, a couple people snickered, but other than that there wasn't much fuss until the teacher spotted me and started trying to calmly tell me to take the suit off, which of course I said no to and lit into my argument about how the rulebook didn't say l couldnt wear it, I wasn't distracting anybody... and right as she began to boil with rage and take on the wrinkly gnarled form of Satan himself, I heard giggling and looked to the other side of the room, where there was a man sitting in one of those blue plastic chairs all classrooms have that was far too small for him It was the state inspector I had f----- up My teacher of course assumed that l'd heard, somehow somewhere, that this was the day the inspector was visiting and l'd planned my banana-suit day accordingly to make her look bad which I had not done and which explained why she seemed ready to pop several neck veins. Her rage was a good fifty clowns packed into the clowncar of her little body and they were about to start leaping out and spraying me with a fire hose instead of flowers. Meanwhile the state inspector was turning pink as a christmas ham and shaking with laughter, he'd leaned over a desk and had to stop himself from falling out of that tiny chair. Squeaks could be heard eeking out from under his arms as he covered his face. The rest of my classmates were ignoring me as hard as they could manage by looking in every direction I wasn't.I realized I needed to go or face imminent destruction, so I got up and went to the office as my teacher had been stiffly insisting hearing a restrained howl make it out of the inspector as I closed the door behind me The principal was furious, but not as furious as the teacher. He called my mom and had her pick me up and told her I was suspended for the rest of the week. Here was where my superman shirt came into play, this whole time l'd been sitting in then laid eyes on me and stopped dead, abandoning the incomplete handshake and all forms of social protocol and marching across the office toward me with a bellow of "THERE'S MY CHIQUITA BANANA!" It was the state goddamn state inspector. He ran over and straight-up hugged me, insisting that the banana suit incident was the funniest thing he'd ever seen. He gushed and I laughed and introduced myself and by the time my principal had recovered enough from looking like a lost puppy to realize what was going on and be offended by it we were real pals, and the inspector wasn't too thrilled l'd been suspended for the ordeal. Here was this big six-foot man in probably his fifties having a laugh with a sixteen-year-old girl half his size, just slapping each other on the back and acting like old chums, and the principal just didn't know what to do. I think I saw him deflate like a balloon full of mud out of the corner of my eye. I don't know that he ever fully recovered And that's the story of my accidental one-man rebellion against the school system that earned me a permanent association with bananas. The banana suit continues to make appearances in public from time to time, but I like to think it's debut performance was its finest hour

tumblr funny banana suit story teacher principal rebellion school system banana suit bananasuit school-system school inspector

...Again?

panflutemanbandbutts Source:sucysucyfived iamonlydorb sucysucyfivedolla what 125,215 notes け

panflutemanbandbutts Source:sucysucyfived iamonlydorb sucysucyfivedolla what 125,215 notes け

what tumblr butt egg imgur gullible hard boiled egg

I was admiring Machu Picchu and a llama decided to join me. extrOverted this is my dream It's emperor kuzko looking at the hill to build his summer palace

I was admiring Machu Picchu and a llama decided to join me. extrOverted this is my dream It's emperor kuzko looking at the hill to build his summer palace

the emperor's new groove machu picchu emperor kuzco

amortizing me: "sleeps for 5 hours" tired me: "sleeps for 17 hours" tired me: "sleeps for a month" tired me: "sleeps for a year" still tired

amortizing me: "sleeps for 5 hours" tired me: "sleeps for 17 hours" tired me: "sleeps for a month" tired me: "sleeps for a year" still tired

month 5 tired 17 sleep year hours

PASTA et benwarheit Things I like about this decal on a restaurant window -the insane orange waiter -that he's carrying his plates in the air like a strongman -the couple looks like this isn't the first time he's done this, but it's easier to just let it happen at this point. -the sign says PASTA as if he's screaming it like a frankenstein -but he's holding a plate of an entire chicken and a plate of wine glasses -there's three wine glasses -one's for him.

PASTA et benwarheit Things I like about this decal on a restaurant window -the insane orange waiter -that he's carrying his plates in the air like a strongman -the couple looks like this isn't the first time he's done this, but it's easier to just let it happen at this point. -the sign says PASTA as if he's screaming it like a frankenstein -but he's holding a plate of an entire chicken and a plate of wine glasses -there's three wine glasses -one's for him.

pasta orange tumblr insane chicken frankenstein wine strongman audio

teadalek: themaskednegro: I want someone who doesn't watch wrestling to explain to me whats happening in this scene #competitive lightbulb replacement

teadalek: themaskednegro: I want someone who doesn't watch wrestling to explain to me whats happening in this scene #competitive lightbulb replacement

ladders wrestling wrestlers professional wrestling wwe someone explain this picture

vinebox vinebox Quelle:sloth-moss SPENT 30 MINS LOOKING THRU THE TRASH FOR THIS PACKET 2 PROVE TO MY GIRL THE CORNER WASNT FROM A CONDOM WRAPPER SMHH 215.117 Anmerkungen

vinebox vinebox Quelle:sloth-moss SPENT 30 MINS LOOKING THRU THE TRASH FOR THIS PACKET 2 PROVE TO MY GIRL THE CORNER WASNT FROM A CONDOM WRAPPER SMHH 215.117 Anmerkungen

twitter the girlfriend to look through search tumblr for minutes 30 boyfriend trash looking couple searching rubbish thru flavour prove chicken flavor condom wrapper min mins proving packet corner

slytheringsnake my sister just tried to ask me if i wanted to go to bed but instead it came out "Do you need to use the sleep?" and then she just kinda looked really horrified at herself and whispered Maybe i need to use the sleep"

slytheringsnake my sister just tried to ask me if i wanted to go to bed but instead it came out "Do you need to use the sleep?" and then she just kinda looked really horrified at herself and whispered Maybe i need to use the sleep"

somethingwittyiguesspizza Source: dw dw appropriate things to say when a teacher asks if you have your homework o mind your own business o who are you o don't worry about it o where am i o no thank you dont force your religion on me 35,834 notes

somethingwittyiguesspizza Source: dw dw appropriate things to say when a teacher asks if you have your homework o mind your own business o who are you o don't worry about it o where am i o no thank you dont force your religion on me 35,834 notes