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The CDC Recommends

Part of a series on COVID-19 Pandemic. [View Related Entries]

Updated Dec 29, 2021 at 03:31PM EST by Zach.

Added May 14, 2021 at 12:09PM EDT by Adam.

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About

The CDC Recommends refers to snowclone parodies of announcements from the Center for Disease Control (CDC) regarding updated COVID-19 guidelines. Though present throughout the pandemic, they saw an increase in usage after the CDC announced that fully vaccinated people could gather indoors without masks and social distancing, as well as late 2021 when the CDC shortened its recommended isolation period for people who tested positive for COVID but were asymptomatic.

Origin

Throughout the COVID-19 pandemic, the CDC has offered safety protocols regarding gathering and mask-wearing. Parodies of their announcements have typically followed new announcements. For example, on September 28th, 2020, Twitter user @AshCullinane[1] posted a parody of the CDC's guidelines for Thanksgiving (shown below).


Ashley Cullinane @AshCullinane ... The CDC recommends yelling at relatives virtually 10. NBC 10 WJAR @NBC10 · Sep 28, 2020 The CDC is sharing its guidelines for gatherings this Thanksgiving. Here is a list of what the CDC considers higher risk activities for the holiday. turnto10.com/news/nation-wo... 10:58 AM · Sep 28, 2020 · Twitter Web App

Spread

Parodies grew more popular when the CDC began announcing less-strict recommendations for fully vaccinated people in the spring of 2021. For example, on April 16th, 2021, Twitter user @TiffMGraves[2] posted, "Even if you are fully vaccinated, the CDC recommends not scheduling afternoon meetings on Fridays," gaining over 120 retweets and 940 likes (shown below, left). On April 27th, Twitter user @danielleweisber[3] tweeted, "even if you are fully vaccinated, the CDC recommends masking half of your face while living secretly in the opera house," gaining over 10,000 retweets and 73,000 likes.


Tiffany @tiffmgraves ... Even if you are fully vaccinated, the CDC recommends not scheduling afternoon meetings on Fridays. 2:21 PM · Apr 16, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone danielle weisberg ... @danielleweisber even if you are fully vaccinated, the CDC recommends masking half of your face while living secretly in the opera house 1:15 PM · Apr 27, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone

The parodies saw a particular spike on May 13th, 2021, when the CDC announced that fully vaccinated people could gather indoors without masks or social distancing.[4] For example, @TrixieMattel[5] posted a parody that gained over 660 retweets and 8,300 likes (shown below, left). User @Darcangel21[6] posted a parody that gained over 250 retweets and 1,400 likes (shown below, right).


Trixie MattelTM ... @trixiemattel The CDC recommends you slip in through my unlocked patio door and consensually finger-blast me while I pretend to be sleep. We then go to brunch to stimulate the local economy. 4:16 PM · May 13, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone Lyndsey D'Arcangelo @darcangel21 ... The CDC recommends watching the WNBA all summer long as it has been proven to produce contentment, good vibes and lasting benefits to long term health. 4:10 PM · May 13, 2021 · Twitter Web App

December 2021 Resurgence

On December 27th, 2021, the CDC shortened its recommended isolation period for people who test positively for COVID but are asymptomatic from 10 days to five days.[7] The organization's stated reason for this change is that it anticipates a surge in COVID cases due to the Omicron variant, but many of these cases could be asymptomatic. CDC Director Rochelle Walensky said, "Not all of those cases are going to be severe. In fact, many are going to be asymptomatic. We want to make sure there is a mechanism by which we can safely continue to keep society functioning while following the science." The CDC also wrote:

The change is motivated by science demonstrating that the majority of SARS-CoV-2 transmission occurs early in the course of illness, generally in the 1-2 days prior to onset of symptoms and the 2-3 days after. Therefore, people who test positive should isolate for five days and, if asymptomatic at that time, they may leave isolation if they can continue to mask for five days to minimize the risk of infecting others.

The change was viewed negatively by many commenters who felt the decision was made to protect business interests rather than public health, particularly as Delta Airlines had recommended making the change prior to the announcement.[8] Thus, shortly after the announcement was made, "The CDC Recommends" parody tweets returned, often featuring the "CDC" giving bad advice. For example, user @MNateShyamalan[9] tweeted a parody on December 28th, 2021, referencing Jurassic Park, gaining over 14,000 retweets and 126,000 likes in less than 24 hours (shown below, left). User @SamanthaWeiner1[10] made a joke about texting your ex on New Year's that same day, gaining over 1,000 retweets and 15,000 likes in less than 24 hours (shown below, center). User @Chinchillazilla[11] also posted a joke that day about being in a zombie movie, gaining over 16,000 retweets and 121,000 likes in roughly 24 hours (shown below, right).


silent nate, holy nate @MNateShyamalan ... the CDC just announced you can fill a theme park with dinosaurs again if you really learned your lesson last time 4:54 PM · Dec 28, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone Samantha Weiner @SamanthaWeiner1 The CDC just announced that it is okay to text your ex “Happy New Year, just thinking about you :)" at 12:01am on January 1st. 3:04 PM · Dec 28, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone i bless the rains down in castamere ... @Chinchillazllla the CDC announced that i don't have to tell anyone else in the group that a zombie bit me a few miles back 1:54 PM · Dec 28, 2021 · Twitter for Android *......

Various Examples


brat murdock ... @alicedembowsky the cdc recommends you try to make eye contact while deep-throating, adding that it's super hot and weirdly intimate 3:01 AM - May 14, 2021 · Twitter for Android the elder emo @etroupe The CDC recommends Warped Tour returns in 2021 11:29 PM · May 13, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone Anne T. Donahue ... @annetdonahue the cdc recommends not wearing a mask unless you are an opera ghost 4:45 PM · May 13, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone L. Joy Williams @ljoywilliams Even if you are fully vaccinated, the CDC still recommends that tourists coming to NYC walk to the right on sidewalks and on escalators. 6:01 PM · May 13, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone Jesus Christ ... @JesusOfNaz316 If you have been fully vaccinated, the CDC recommends that you go into all the world and preach the gospel. 3:17 PM · May 13, 2021 · Twitter Web App Rachel Wolfson @wolfiecomedy the cdc recommends we delete social media 3:58 PM · May 13, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone

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Top Comments

Gleaming Steel
Gleaming Steel

Was pretty funny how when the news came out there were some CNN anchors and a bunch of lefty twitter personalities going "I'm still going to wear a mask because I'm afraid of what will happen to me if I'm mistaken for a conservative in my blue area"

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