Chinese Chess Player Wins Tournament, Defecates In Bathtub, And Is Stripped Of Title For Bad Behavior And Suspicion Of Cheating

In an unbelievable sequel to a story that simply will not die, another chess player — though in this case, Xiangqi, also known as "Chinese chess" — is being accused of using anal beads in order to win a tournament. Somehow unrelated to these accusations, he also has been stripped of his Xiangqi title for pooping in a bathtub.

Last week, Yan Chenglong defeated dozens of Xiangqi players to earn the title of "Xiangqi King" at a tournament hosted by the Chinese Xiangqi Association. This is where things proverbially began to hit the fan, or in this case, the bathtub.

In drunkenly celebrating his victory, the 48-year-old defecated in a hotel bathtub. The Chinese Xiangqi Association frowned upon this and stripped him of his title on the grounds of "disrupting public order" and displaying "extremely bad character." Furthermore, the organization had to address Weibo-based rumors that Yan, like Hans Niemann before him, was using smart anal beads connected to a Xiangqi-playing computer to find out the best moves to make in his over-the-board matches.

“Based on our understanding of the situation, it is currently impossible to prove that Yan engaged in cheating via ‘anal beads’ as speculated on social media,” the organization said.

This intense confluence of scandals gobsmacked social media users, who were stunned that so much butt-related controversy seems to come from the global world of board games.

Yan is banned from Xiangqi tournaments for a year for his celebratory poo, but whether or not he used anal beads to win his matches remains a mystery.