Joss Whedon's Ex-Wife Accuses Director of Infidelities

"Practice what you preach." Words to live by, especially if you're acclaimed film director and feminist evangelist Joss Whedon, whose ex-wife now accuses him of decades of infidelity, despite his "feminist" beliefs.

Writing for The Wrap, Kai Cole, the former spouse of Joss Whedon, the acclaimed director behind Marvel's The Avengers, has accused her estranged ex-husand of years on extramarital affairs, contradicting his repute for writing strong, female characters and espousing feminist beliefs.

Cole, who was married to Whedon for 16 years prior to their divorce in 2016, writes that in their time together, beginning in the early 90s, Whedon had frequent close working relationships with female employees, which he blamed on his "feminist" upbringing. However, in spite of this, she claims that he was involved in years of affairs, specifically during the production of the long-running TV show Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

"There were times in our relationship that I was uncomfortable with the attention Joss paid other women. He always had a lot of female friends, but he told me it was because his mother raised him as a feminist, so he just liked women better. He said he admired and respected females, he didn’t lust after them. I believed him and trusted him. On the set of “Buffy,” Joss decided to have his first secret affair."

After years of standing by Whedon, Cole explains, including encouraging him to bring Buffy to TV, his behavior continued throughout their marriage, hiding "multiple affairs and a number of inappropriate emotional ones that he had with his actresses, co-workers, fans, and friends." Cole states that his treatment has led to her being diagnosed with PTSD.

Following their separation in 2012, Whedon confessed to the affairs. However, he refused to admit hypocrisy to the way he portrayed women in the media and how he treated them in real life. Instead, she writes, that Whedon saw his life as something out of a "Greek myth," succumbing to the power inherit in being a successful Hollywood producer.

Fifteen years later, when he was done with our marriage and finally ready to tell the truth, he wrote me, 'When I was running ‘Buffy,’ I was surrounded by beautiful, needy, aggressive young women. It felt like I had a disease, like something from a Greek myth. Suddenly I am a powerful producer and the world is laid out at my feet and I can’t touch it.” But he did touch it. He said he understood, 'I would have to lie -- or conceal some part of the truth -- for the rest of my life' but he did it anyway, hoping that first affair, 'would be ENOUGH, that THEN we could move on and outlast it.'"

Whedon, for his part, did not respond directly to Cole's accusation. In a statement on behalf of the director, a spokesperson told The Wrap:

"While this account includes inaccuracies and misrepresentations which can be harmful to their family, Joss is not commenting, out of concern for his children and out of respect for his ex-wife."

However, in light of the accusations made by Cole, the biggest Whedon fan site has since shuttered. In a final post, the admins of Whedonesque.com, have decided to cease all updates and encouraging readers to donate to charities that deal with Complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD).

So farewell then. 15 years is a long time and a lot of water has flowed under the bridge. But now it's time to say goodbye. No more threads after this one, we're closing down. The site will at some stage become a read only site. So if you want to leave your contact details in this thread for other posters to get in touch that would be great otherwise email us at whedonesque@gmail.com.

The admins would like to thank the posters at this site. You made this site and we wouldn't have lasted as long as we could without you. So thank you. And if you want to mark our passing, please find a charity or organisation that deals with the treatment of Complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD) and leave a donation.

And a special thanks to Caroline who I had the privilege of meeting."

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— Whedonesque (@whedonesque) August 21, 2017