Trying to Hold a Fart Next to a Cute Girl in Class - When you're the U.S. and din't have a war in 5 minutes

When you're an american and didn't get offended by something in 5 minutes
When you're an american and you didn't stick a flag on something in 30 seconds
When you're an american and didn't braged about your country in 10 seconds

God damn i could go on like this for hours… there is so much potential with this one.

When you're an American and haven't talked down about another country in 5 minutes.
When you're an American and you realize your gun hasn't been fired in the last 15 seconds.
When you're American and you haven't deployed troops in 8 minutes.