Howdy! It's me, DONALD. DONALD the TRUMP! I owe you a HUGE thanks. You really did a number on that old Bernie. Without you, I NEVER could have gotten past him. But now, with YOUR help… He wasn't nominated. And I'VE got the electoral VOTES! Boy! I've been running for so long… It feels great to have IMMIGRANTS outside again. Mmmm, I can feel them wriggling… Awww, you're feeling left out, aren't you? Well, that's just perfect. After all, I only have four years. I still need to be reelected… Before I become DICTATOR. And then, with my newfound powers… Muslim. Mexican. All Minorities. I'll show them all the REAL meaning of this nation.

Special attack: small loan of 1 million souls.