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Is insecure with penis size and does not like people peeping Deathly afriad of pee-buddy adjacent to him Small to average sized penis hands firmly secured and controlling it Perfectly straight around penis, blocking Nervously scouts the area before going to release back tiptoes to Does not converse avoid pee puddles Attempt to attract the least amount of huma attention possible Tries to minimize urine splashbaclk Completely silent, utilizes the rim to minimize noise Uses furthest avaliable urinal if toilets aren't avaliable The Virgin Piss GRABS PEE-BUDDYS D--- MID-PISS HANDS FLAILING, PEES EVERYWHERE BUT IN THE URINAL HAS A MASSIVE D--- HE MAKES EVERYONE SIGN WITH A BLUE MARKER DOES NOT LOOK WHERE HE IS GOING, PUSHES PEOPLE AWAY TO GET TO THE URINAL HE WANTS BACK TWISTED IN UNNATURAL POSITION TALKS LOUDLY TO/EVERYONE PRESENT DELIBERATELY JUMPS INTO EVERY PUDDLE OF PEE HE FINDS TRIES TO PEE WITH THE HIGHEST AMOUNT OF NOISE POSSIBLE USUALLY USES MULTIPLE URINALS AT THE SAME TIME The Chad Piss

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The Virgin Piss vs. The Chad Piss


Uploaded by Don Caldwell Jun 13, 2017 at 12:59PM EDT

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Origin Entry: Virgin vs. Chad

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Can't answer the The Virgin Open Individualism vertiginous question OO O O O Did too much 5-MeO-DMT Has an existential crisis when he looks in the mirror Thinks he dies every second and a new person is formed in his body thinking they're him Thinks his brain is nothing but a piece of meat Doesn't believe in himself Soulless bug person with no identity Daniel Kolak Buddhists Thinks time doesn't exist The Chad Egocentric Presentism OOOO Caspar Hare I! His view can only be seen from nowhere Benj Hellie Hopelessly obsessed with the welfare of bugs and bacteria because he thinks he's them Is a nobody, no cosmic significance Denies the self exists because he can't explain it Can't tell the difference between himself and anyone else Got dissociative identity disorder from philosophizing too much Trusts his intuition Has never experienced ego death in his life Reincarnates World literally revolves around him The main character of the universe His brain is literally magic Is the only real being that exists, everyone else is an NPC to him Makes history happen, time only passes because of his existence Lives in a simulation Nietzschean Übermensch who follows Master Morality Realizes others are beneath him, they aren't sentient anyway Looking at himself in the mirror is his favorite activity
The virgin 2020's Mars Only inhabited by invisible bacteria, and soon to be inhabited by rich millionaires. The chad 1800s Inhabited by giant big- headed pyramid-building space squids Seen by humans as a brown s----hole backup earth incase we f--- up Gaia Mars Seen by humans as a red alien world that houses our celestial brethren. Deadly toxic athmosphere S----brown Boring dark patches Breathable alien air Has large Complex Martian- built canals Actually deserves the nickname "The Red Planet"
the virgin "AGI existential risk" - programmer LARP fantasy that makes coding the single most important skill for saving humanity - fake and made up assumes that there's this vaguely defined concept known as "intelligence" that can be linearly increased as if it were a mathematical quantity - entirely based on thought experiments the Chad Global Warming EV - incomprehensibly complex and interconnected polycrisis - reveals deep-rooted flaws with the dominant politico-economic paradigm; demands a fundamental shift of human value systems by its sheer physical existence - projects an anthropomorphic drive toward control and power onto algorithms that just do statistics to spit out words; colonialist self-report - Zero evidence - sponsored by billionaires who want to make their technology seem more important than it is Ө - blackmails you from the future using faulty logic; doesn't actually make any sense Ө - "oh no, i guess we have to build the Doom Machine now. i guess the course of technological progress is inevitable, oh well" - verified by the entire scientific community - resists ideological simplification - billionaires don't want you to think about it because it is too scary - will actually kill you - divine retribution for fossil capital's greed and wanton exploitation of the natural world - doesn't even need intelligence to threaten humanity's survival
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    Uploaded Jun 13, 2017 at 12:59PM EDT

    Origin Entry

    Virgin vs. Chad

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    Archive.is

    Tags

    piss, urination, bathroom

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