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"The Wizard Pee" Must be alone in the building to pee People never saw his eyes Only uses the stall Looks at the backk of the stall So silent you can hear the atoms spinning Legs are at constant rotation Has a micropenis, but doesn't know it Pees one drop at a time Drinks the toilet water before so peeing won't make any noise Sits down even for peeing, because of his micropenis "The Virgin Pee" Uses the urinal furthest away from people Awkward silence Must be at least two urinals away from everybody else Looks at the nearest wall Thinks Avoids eye contact watching him Doesn't know what to do with free hand Pees in small bursts Prefers to use a stall Only lowers pants enough to stick his penis out Self conscious about penis Size Tries to pee silently Legs are moving uncomfortably Refuses to pee when nobody's in the room Makes direct eye contact with neighbour Exclusively uses the urinal in between "The Chad Sprinkle" people Ear-piercing yelling Keeps a stern eye on everybody who enters his territory Hugs his neighbours affectionately Has never seen a stall in his life Lets his penis dangle proudly Legs are firml planted in the floor for Pee roars with the sound of a Pees literal oceans ousand lions pee efficiency Drops pants to h ankles

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The Virgin Pee vs. The Chad Sprinkle


Uploaded by Don Caldwell Jun 13, 2017 at 01:03PM EDT

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Origin Entry: Virgin vs. Chad

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Virgin Na'vi from AVATAR Been using bows and arrows for thousands of years without progress PROJECT Rocky from HAIL MARY Needs sex appeal so that people feel bad about them Night vision, stronger vision than humans Poorly executed commentary of human industry destroying natural resources and culture Hates humanity with a boiling rage Natural habitat simply requires humans to wear masks to live, not too hazardous Considered a reason why humanity should rule the stars Zero sex appeal (doesn't need it) Story of putting differences aside and working towards a mutual goal that will save everyone Didn't know space existed. Went to space anyways to save their planet. Doesn't need eyes, ecolocation is good enough Almost killed himself to give humanity a chance to live. Their homeworld Erid averages 210 degrees Celsius, combined with high pressure ammonia-based atmosphere and twice of Earth's gravity Interplanetary friend to humanity Species can only live 100-130 years. "Oel ngati kameie" Older than the entire United States of America. (considered youthful) *whale noises* (Translation: "Fist my bump")
Mechanists - places their incel leader equal to actual God - Literal death-cult built off self-hatred (wants to bring about the apocalypse) - Follow revisionist "New Scripture" VS - Only exists out of Father Karras's spiteful ego - wants to destroy nature altogether (no balance) - Panders to the nobility and upper-class - uses slavery - "Progress for the sake of progress" mentality - Wastes time on edgy pursuits of genocide (makes enemies of the Pagans in the process) - Uses blackmail and corruption for political gain - - - - - - - Hammerites places The Master Builder above all else defeated the Devil himself by exploding a bomb in his face (canceled the apocalypse) Scripture and tradition have lasted for centuries made the City was it is today Genuinely the sole force dedicated to upholding law, order and morality only desires righteous order to balance against the chaos of nature Develops technology to help rise man out of darkness, destitution and primitive fears O Serves all of man
Can't answer the The Virgin Open Individualism vertiginous question OO O O O Did too much 5-MeO-DMT Has an existential crisis when he looks in the mirror Thinks he dies every second and a new person is formed in his body thinking they're him Thinks his brain is nothing but a piece of meat Doesn't believe in himself Soulless bug person with no identity Daniel Kolak Buddhists Thinks time doesn't exist The Chad Egocentric Presentism OOOO Caspar Hare I! His view can only be seen from nowhere Benj Hellie Hopelessly obsessed with the welfare of bugs and bacteria because he thinks he's them Is a nobody, no cosmic significance Denies the self exists because he can't explain it Can't tell the difference between himself and anyone else Got dissociative identity disorder from philosophizing too much Trusts his intuition Has never experienced ego death in his life Reincarnates World literally revolves around him The main character of the universe His brain is literally magic Is the only real being that exists, everyone else is an NPC to him Makes history happen, time only passes because of his existence Lives in a simulation Nietzschean Übermensch who follows Master Morality Realizes others are beneath him, they aren't sentient anyway Looking at himself in the mirror is his favorite activity
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    Uploaded Jun 13, 2017 at 01:03PM EDT

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    Virgin vs. Chad

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