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"The Wizard Pee" Must be alone in the building to pee People never saw his eyes Only uses the stall Looks at the backk of the stall So silent you can hear the atoms spinning Legs are at constant rotation Has a micropenis, but doesn't know it Pees one drop at a time Drinks the toilet water before so peeing won't make any noise Sits down even for peeing, because of his micropenis "The Virgin Pee" Uses the urinal furthest away from people Awkward silence Must be at least two urinals away from everybody else Looks at the nearest wall Thinks Avoids eye contact watching him Doesn't know what to do with free hand Pees in small bursts Prefers to use a stall Only lowers pants enough to stick his penis out Self conscious about penis Size Tries to pee silently Legs are moving uncomfortably Refuses to pee when nobody's in the room Makes direct eye contact with neighbour Exclusively uses the urinal in between "The Chad Sprinkle" people Ear-piercing yelling Keeps a stern eye on everybody who enters his territory Hugs his neighbours affectionately Has never seen a stall in his life Lets his penis dangle proudly Legs are firml planted in the floor for Pee roars with the sound of a Pees literal oceans ousand lions pee efficiency Drops pants to h ankles

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The Virgin Pee vs. The Chad Sprinkle


Uploaded by Don Caldwell Jun 13, 2017 at 01:03PM EDT

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Origin Entry: Virgin vs. Chad

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Can't answer the The Virgin Open Individualism vertiginous question OO O O O Did too much 5-MeO-DMT Has an existential crisis when he looks in the mirror Thinks he dies every second and a new person is formed in his body thinking they're him Thinks his brain is nothing but a piece of meat Doesn't believe in himself Soulless bug person with no identity Daniel Kolak Buddhists Thinks time doesn't exist The Chad Egocentric Presentism OOOO Caspar Hare I! His view can only be seen from nowhere Benj Hellie Hopelessly obsessed with the welfare of bugs and bacteria because he thinks he's them Is a nobody, no cosmic significance Denies the self exists because he can't explain it Can't tell the difference between himself and anyone else Got dissociative identity disorder from philosophizing too much Trusts his intuition Has never experienced ego death in his life Reincarnates World literally revolves around him The main character of the universe His brain is literally magic Is the only real being that exists, everyone else is an NPC to him Makes history happen, time only passes because of his existence Lives in a simulation Nietzschean Übermensch who follows Master Morality Realizes others are beneath him, they aren't sentient anyway Looking at himself in the mirror is his favorite activity
The virgin 2020's Mars Only inhabited by invisible bacteria, and soon to be inhabited by rich millionaires. The chad 1800s Inhabited by giant big- headed pyramid-building space squids Seen by humans as a brown s----hole backup earth incase we f--- up Gaia Mars Seen by humans as a red alien world that houses our celestial brethren. Deadly toxic athmosphere S----brown Boring dark patches Breathable alien air Has large Complex Martian- built canals Actually deserves the nickname "The Red Planet"
the virgin "AGI existential risk" - programmer LARP fantasy that makes coding the single most important skill for saving humanity - fake and made up assumes that there's this vaguely defined concept known as "intelligence" that can be linearly increased as if it were a mathematical quantity - entirely based on thought experiments the Chad Global Warming EV - incomprehensibly complex and interconnected polycrisis - reveals deep-rooted flaws with the dominant politico-economic paradigm; demands a fundamental shift of human value systems by its sheer physical existence - projects an anthropomorphic drive toward control and power onto algorithms that just do statistics to spit out words; colonialist self-report - Zero evidence - sponsored by billionaires who want to make their technology seem more important than it is Ө - blackmails you from the future using faulty logic; doesn't actually make any sense Ө - "oh no, i guess we have to build the Doom Machine now. i guess the course of technological progress is inevitable, oh well" - verified by the entire scientific community - resists ideological simplification - billionaires don't want you to think about it because it is too scary - will actually kill you - divine retribution for fossil capital's greed and wanton exploitation of the natural world - doesn't even need intelligence to threaten humanity's survival
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    Uploaded Jun 13, 2017 at 01:03PM EDT

    Origin Entry

    Virgin vs. Chad

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