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Virgin vs. Chad - Wizard Walk vs. Virgin Walk vs. Chad Stride

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Hair has been firmly fastened to never react to wind or any laws of Hair seems to overreact to wind the wizard wallk "The Virgin Walk" THE CHAD STRIDE Head craned forward ysiques Sometimes uses heaphones to escape potential conversation or mitigate agoraphobic symptoms Has figured out how to- always look everyone in the eye at once at all times Looks below parallel Head is at a perfect verticle angle at all times so polite he has grown angel wings hair overreacts so much it looks like tentacles Avoids eye contact, and looks away immediately if accidental contact Perceives every oncoming fece in his periphery as "looking at him Has never heard a song in his entire life crooked neck Back slouched Does not register the emotions or feelings of others at all Too polite, gives too much traffic Arms constantly flailing in confident, unpredictable ways ace for onc hates people who walk slowly when side-by-side hunched back Intentionally slaps and batters incoming traffic to make his own path Stiff, straight arms Struggles to find comfortable hand form Little arm movement Hands always prepared to grab nearby fertile p---- Might be too tense and rigid Back is so straight you could measure structural foundation with his spinal cord looks so low that you cannot even see his iris Bonus: Clothing is all neutral coloured Wears running shoes Only wears black coats Stands with a weird posture Is insecure about how he walks Walking form is poised like a Greek statue, perpetualy in contrapposto Walking pace/form lacks fluidity because walking pace changes every nanosecond walks at lightspeed he struggles to "autowalk analogous to always manually breathing headphones that block all sound Rapidly tiptoes around like in "going to the store MANDATORY possible: clothing so boring its impossible to look at doesn't even wear shoes long trencoat right out of the matrix posture is only found in ancient minoan mythology would kill himself over the way he walks Walks too fast Compulsively needs to pass anyone walking slightly slower than him Does not feel the need to pass anyone because he's already brutalized everyone nearby into Wears visually-painful bright neon attire 3000 highlighter boots from Giuseepe Zanotti Does not wear a coat, is immune to cold No one alive can insult his posture and get away with it Does not read stupid s--- drawn by Quentin really really long steps arms so straight like they are made of solid metal Tiny beetle-like stride Long strides hand form has eternal suffering

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