Steamed Hams - Virgin Superintendent vs. Chad Principal

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THE VIRGIN SUPERINTENDENT THE CHAD PRINCIPAL Full head of luxurious hair Balding Isn't prepared for an unforgettable luncheon Intentionally gives bad directions to his house in order to give visitors new and different experiences Is admirably committed to his narrative; gives so few f---- that he'll burn down his own house without a second thought if he has to Utica trash Is too much of a beta to be allowed to see Aurora Borealis Is a gullible idiot and believes everything he is told, no matter how implausible it may be Uncultured phillistine; has never even heard of the phrase "steamed hams" Burns his roast; still impresses his boss because he's a genius who can lie flawlessly Is a worldly man of culture; uses exotic phrases like "steamed hams" to describe mundane foods Is delightfully devilish Emaciated calves due to lack of exercise Thought they were having steamed clams because he's a moron Strong calves from isometric exercise Has Aurora Borealis localized entirely within his kitchen; anyone who wants to see it has to get his permission first Steams a good ham Thinks patented Skinner burgers are from Krusty Burger

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Top Comments

Z_2

Feb 06, 2018 at 02:35PM EST

I find it weird how we're simultaneously complimenting him ON his narrative and complimenting him on things that are only true WITHIN his narrative. They seem like they should be mutually exclusive.

+17

Z_2

Feb 06, 2018 at 11:18PM EST in reply to I am AHO Right?

Shrodinger's Chad – until such time as called out on his bullshit, the Chad exists in a superposition of states such that all possible complimentary statements are true.

+17

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