Dungeons and Dragons - When Joel plays DND

This is inaccurate. The players didn’t try to seduce the river.

Not a very good DM, then. If players fuck around, introduce new obstacles that will get them to hurry up, like a group of bandits who will raid their treasure if they don’t cross quickly or a hot Elven maiden on the other side of the river seeking escorts. DnD is only as interesting as the imagination of the DM.