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+59

Virgin vs. Chad - Virgin Shut-In vs. Chad Salaryman

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Has fans, flesh buds them anyway Virgin Shut-In CHAD SALARY MAN Killed his father (twice) Poor fashion sense; has a heart embedded in his skull Leeches off of close ones Avoids contact with rival's grand- son's grandson, and backs away immediately upon direct contact Only gets up after the sun's already set Provides for his family Perceives every oncoming twitch as "messing him up" Has a healthy Wardrobe is sense of routine straight-up PUA Assertive Looks dapper af Is a literal banana Can stop time, uses it to play silly games Picturesque relationship with father Twice deemed worthy by the golden arrow Relies on an army of incompetents Can kill you anytime he wants; doesn't Dies by taking a punch to the knee Cultured; has recently been to an art gallery Saves a stranger's marriage, f---- his wife Adorns himself with hearts, has none of his own Can be killed only by divine intervention Dies surrounded by loved ones Nice shoes Is an army of one Weird shoes

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Top Comments

Amphy292

Amphy292

Dec 15, 2019 at 11:09PM EST

The Wizard Mafia Boss

The Thad President of the United States

+30

El piso

El piso

Dec 15, 2019 at 10:18AM EST

Also the fact Kira drives a R31 NIssan Skyline GTS-R

+16

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