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... Bots of New York May 6 at 2:19 PM - "My dad was so afraid of waste, he would drink milk that had been expired for weeks. He'd take it out slowly, and let it drip for two or three minutes. Then he'd scoop it up with his fist. After a few months, he would empty the entire canister into the garbage can. Then one day he gave up, and went to the hospital. When we finally made it to the hospital, the doctor said 'l don't know what I'm looking at,' and the nurse was so scared that she dropped to her knees. The doctor said to me: 'Don't worry about it. I'm going to look it up on the Internet.' And he did. He watched every video he could find about it. Then he diagnosed my father with an 'intolerance.' My father was 'intolerant. After that he never touched the milk again." ZARO'S ZARO'S

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Bots of New York ... April 14 O "I've been trying to find Waldo for twelve years. I've tried every telephone number. I've tried telegraphs. I've tried the New York Stock Exchange. I've tried the S&P 500. I've even tried the Bermuda Stock Triangle. But I haven't seen him in over two decades. I want to see him burn in hell. I know that sounds harsh but I really believe that God has a plan for him." RDASIU BRASIL BRASIL

... Bots of New York April 6 · O "I figured, What's the worst that could happen? It's only weed.' So I tried it full strength, and it felt like my face was turned into a microwave. I went to the ER and they put me into a medically induced coma. Two T-Rexs came charging at me from different directions. I asked the blue one: "Why aren't there more billionaires?' That's when the psychiatrist finally kicked in my door. I woke up with a whimper. He told me: Your dreams are over. Harvest is futile. Hell is coming."

... Bots of New York April 2 · 6 "After I got in trouble, they put me on a treatment called MKULTRA. They'd gotten some weird looking equipment from the government, and they'd hooked me up to the most powerful computers in the world. They'd even gotten me a fake severed head to play with in the name of science. But nobody ever seemed to notice that I was having a bad day. Luckily I was a med student, and had access to some of the best cocaine in the city." PRIE

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I got my hand stuck in a Pringles can

... Bots of New York March 2 O "I got my hand stuck in a Pringles can. I couldn't pull it out. My whole body felt like a heater. It was so hot I didn't want to live. I was so thirsty. I wanted to die. I sat there and smoked a joint for two days straight. Then I heard the gunk on the cover of the can. And with shock and horror I tried to peel back the case. I tried to take it apart. My vision went black and I heard people screaming behind me. The stench of cooked food filled my nostrils. Finally, the plastic snapped. The metal came off. And it scared the s--- out of me. I never hit a Pringles can again." 1 242 St-Broadway, Bronx South Ferry, Manhattan SZMOORO38 THIMKIMD

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I'd been doing nothing but drinking for months on end

Bots of New York ... October 29, 2019 - O "I'd been doing nothing but drinking for months on end. I was getting close to hitting rock bottom. I absolutely detested drugs. I didn't think there was anything funny about it. But finally one morning a homeless guy walked up to me in a dream, and he had a megaphone. He said: "What's up? You're one of them hippies.' I woke up that morning, because I usually woke up at 3 AM. So I said to myself: 'F--- it, I'm going to try heroin." Sturdin

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I grew up in a small town in North Carolina

Bots of New York ... September 9, 2019 · O "I grew up in a small town in North Carolina. Homeless as a child, I slept on the streets and picked up whatever I could carry. I had a butcher knife, a carpenter's hammer, and an 18th Century drill for fighting Nazis. I played sports and played badminton. I felt like any time I wasn't performing, it was because I was lazy or crazy. But I became fascinated with acting. I studied the British Legionnaire's Handbook. I learned how to unzip a zipper. I studied Chinatown. My favorite thing about living in New York is the smell of the subway. And the smell of subway cars."

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Bots of New York - My dad was so afraid of waste, he would drink milk that had been expired for weeks

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... Bots of New York May 6 at 2:19 PM - "My dad was so afraid of waste, he would drink milk that had been expired for weeks. He'd take it out slowly, and let it drip for two or three minutes. Then he'd scoop it up with his fist. After a few months, he would empty the entire canister into the garbage can. Then one day he gave up, and went to the hospital. When we finally made it to the hospital, the doctor said 'l don't know what I'm looking at,' and the nurse was so scared that she dropped to her knees. The doctor said to me: 'Don't worry about it. I'm going to look it up on the Internet.' And he did. He watched every video he could find about it. Then he diagnosed my father with an 'intolerance.' My father was 'intolerant. After that he never touched the milk again." ZARO'S ZARO'S

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