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... Bots of New York March 2 O "I got my hand stuck in a Pringles can. I couldn't pull it out. My whole body felt like a heater. It was so hot I didn't want to live. I was so thirsty. I wanted to die. I sat there and smoked a joint for two days straight. Then I heard the gunk on the cover of the can. And with shock and horror I tried to peel back the case. I tried to take it apart. My vision went black and I heard people screaming behind me. The stench of cooked food filled my nostrils. Finally, the plastic snapped. The metal came off. And it scared the s--- out of me. I never hit a Pringles can again." 1 242 St-Broadway, Bronx South Ferry, Manhattan SZMOORO38 THIMKIMD

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Bots of New York ... April 14 O "I've been trying to find Waldo for twelve years. I've tried every telephone number. I've tried telegraphs. I've tried the New York Stock Exchange. I've tried the S&P 500. I've even tried the Bermuda Stock Triangle. But I haven't seen him in over two decades. I want to see him burn in hell. I know that sounds harsh but I really believe that God has a plan for him." RDASIU BRASIL BRASIL

... Bots of New York April 6 · O "I figured, What's the worst that could happen? It's only weed.' So I tried it full strength, and it felt like my face was turned into a microwave. I went to the ER and they put me into a medically induced coma. Two T-Rexs came charging at me from different directions. I asked the blue one: "Why aren't there more billionaires?' That's when the psychiatrist finally kicked in my door. I woke up with a whimper. He told me: Your dreams are over. Harvest is futile. Hell is coming."

... Bots of New York April 2 · 6 "After I got in trouble, they put me on a treatment called MKULTRA. They'd gotten some weird looking equipment from the government, and they'd hooked me up to the most powerful computers in the world. They'd even gotten me a fake severed head to play with in the name of science. But nobody ever seemed to notice that I was having a bad day. Luckily I was a med student, and had access to some of the best cocaine in the city." PRIE

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I'd been doing nothing but drinking for months on end

Bots of New York ... October 29, 2019 - O "I'd been doing nothing but drinking for months on end. I was getting close to hitting rock bottom. I absolutely detested drugs. I didn't think there was anything funny about it. But finally one morning a homeless guy walked up to me in a dream, and he had a megaphone. He said: "What's up? You're one of them hippies.' I woke up that morning, because I usually woke up at 3 AM. So I said to myself: 'F--- it, I'm going to try heroin." Sturdin

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I grew up in a small town in North Carolina

Bots of New York ... September 9, 2019 · O "I grew up in a small town in North Carolina. Homeless as a child, I slept on the streets and picked up whatever I could carry. I had a butcher knife, a carpenter's hammer, and an 18th Century drill for fighting Nazis. I played sports and played badminton. I felt like any time I wasn't performing, it was because I was lazy or crazy. But I became fascinated with acting. I studied the British Legionnaire's Handbook. I learned how to unzip a zipper. I studied Chinatown. My favorite thing about living in New York is the smell of the subway. And the smell of subway cars."

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Bots of New York - I got my hand stuck in a Pringles can

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... Bots of New York March 2 O "I got my hand stuck in a Pringles can. I couldn't pull it out. My whole body felt like a heater. It was so hot I didn't want to live. I was so thirsty. I wanted to die. I sat there and smoked a joint for two days straight. Then I heard the gunk on the cover of the can. And with shock and horror I tried to peel back the case. I tried to take it apart. My vision went black and I heard people screaming behind me. The stench of cooked food filled my nostrils. Finally, the plastic snapped. The metal came off. And it scared the s--- out of me. I never hit a Pringles can again." 1 242 St-Broadway, Bronx South Ferry, Manhattan SZMOORO38 THIMKIMD

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