"Ok Bert, I'll take it back to the store. But with the all stains, I don't think we'll get a full refund." | Bertstrips | Know Your Meme
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Bertstrips

1141 Views • Created 3 years ago By elmashojaldra • Updated about a month ago

Created By elmashojaldra • Updated about a month ago

"Ok Bert, I'll take it back to the store. But with the all stains, I don't think we'll get a full refund."

123 "No, Ernie, we're not keeping the sex robot that looks like me and has a three foot mechanical penis just so you can point at it when you're angry and tell me to go f--- myself."
Origin Entry:

Bertstrips

Source

/r/Bertstrips - /u/RetrogradeIntellect

Notes

Textile Embed 
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    Natasha joined her sister minutes later...

    123 Ernie unleashed a massive belch into baby Natasha's face, relishing her terror as she recognized the smell of her missing twin sister in his foul breath.
    123 Ernie unleashed a massive belch into baby Natasha's face, relishing her terror as she recognized the smell of her missing twin sister in his foul breath.
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    The Many Sins of Grover #1,041,487

    The Many Sins of Grover #1,041,487: Filled with envy and rage over Kermit's successful career, Grover stares at the award that he greatly coveted and plots to bludgeon Kermit to death with it. Consequences be damned!
    The Many Sins of Grover #1,041,487: Filled with envy and rage over Kermit's successful career, Grover stares at the award that he greatly coveted and plots to bludgeon Kermit to death with it. Consequences be damned!
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    The Beginning of Grover’s Mad Quest to Kill God

    It was then that a bold new idea emerged from Grover's twisted mind... If he was going to be a sinner, he was going to be the best damn sinner of them all! If Grover committed a ludicrous amount of sins, the Devil wouldn't be able to fit them all in the bowels of Hell and they would have to go all the way up to the gates of Heaven, guaranteeing him a place in paradise. That is until he noticed a gun store that recently opened up a few blocks away...
    It was then that a bold new idea emerged from Grover's twisted mind... If he was going to be a sinner, he was going to be the best damn sinner of them all! If Grover committed a ludicrous amount of sins, the Devil wouldn't be able to fit them all in the bowels of Hell and they would have to go all the way up to the gates of Heaven, guaranteeing him a place in paradise. That is until he noticed a gun store that recently opened up a few blocks away...
    Bertstrips
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    Hello Cookie! Hello Mon! I'm your Ch-Ch-Ch-Cherry Bomb!

    Unknown to Cookie Monster, Ernie was internally cackling with glee as he waited for the bombs he disguised as cherries to go off the very moment they were swallowed.
    Unknown to Cookie Monster, Ernie was internally cackling with glee as he waited for the bombs he disguised as cherries to go off the very moment they were swallowed.
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    "Fear and Groving in Sesame Street"

    1070 "Snuffy... I don't want to alarm you... but I don't think this is weed..."
    1070 "Snuffy... I don't want to alarm you... but I don't think this is weed..."
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    If there had been ONE pigeon feathery, this wouldn't have happened!

    As his fiery rage started to reach its absolute zenith... Bert was about to turn this Furry Convention... ...Into a Fury Convention
    As his fiery rage started to reach its absolute zenith... Bert was about to turn this Furry Convention... ...Into a Fury Convention
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    The (im)proper use case for AI

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    CD MUD UG OP 3/ The new Al-powered racial slur generator was off to a rough start.
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    I just sold you for a cigarette. And I don't smoke!

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    "Now go kill Dr. Venture!" eli NJ TV HD
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    Merry Christmas and happy holidays y'all

    123 SESAME STREETorg The Christmas season has somehow freed Oscar from his grouchiness and he now joyously brings presents in the name of his lord to all people on Sesame Street. Unfortunately, said lord was neither Christ nor Santa, but Papa Nurgle. Did you really think a guy living in a trashcan would worship anyone else? Merry Plaguemas and a Happy New Ebola-Strain!
    123 SESAME STREETorg The Christmas season has somehow freed Oscar from his grouchiness and he now joyously brings presents in the name of his lord to all people on Sesame Street. Unfortunately, said lord was neither Christ nor Santa, but Papa Nurgle. Did you really think a guy living in a trashcan would worship anyone else? Merry Plaguemas and a Happy New Ebola-Strain!
    Bertstrips
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    Grilled catfish

    Grover realizes the true identity of the Match.com girl he's been sending half his salary to when Elmo shows up for work in a brand new Lamborghini with a vanity plate that reads GRVRSBTCH
    Grover realizes the true identity of the Match.com girl he's been sending half his salary to when Elmo shows up for work in a brand new Lamborghini with a vanity plate that reads GRVRSBTCH
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    Trigger warning

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    Bertstrips
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    War Effects Even Those Who Have Never Seen It

    Stop bringing up Vietnam for the love of god! I can't keep this up anymore... You're not Bert, you're his brother Kurt. Bert went to 'Nam while you fled to Canada, you've never even set foot in an Asian country. The real Bert committed suicide shortly after he came home because of what he had seen and done over there and you were so consumed by shame and self-loathing that you pretended you were the one who offed himself and convinced yourself that you were your brother. I went along with it, everyone did...because we care about you, Kurt. I just wish you'd forgive yourself. you. I love
    Stop bringing up Vietnam for the love of god! I can't keep this up anymore... You're not Bert, you're his brother Kurt. Bert went to 'Nam while you fled to Canada, you've never even set foot in an Asian country. The real Bert committed suicide shortly after he came home because of what he had seen and done over there and you were so consumed by shame and self-loathing that you pretended you were the one who offed himself and convinced yourself that you were your brother. I went along with it, everyone did...because we care about you, Kurt. I just wish you'd forgive yourself. you. I love
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    Elmo Pulls a Cortex

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    Caralho!

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