Notes:

You can do this Stephen. They’ll know you’re guilty if you don’t talk but you must be careful in your answers. If anybody can do this, it’s you Stephen. You just graduated law school. Remember what they taught you? Law enforcement’s vision is based on movement. So I’ll just sit here perfectly still and give the shortest answers possible. That’ll make me less suspicious.

And here comes the detective now. He’s big. He waddles over beside me and then he does the unthinkable. He lowers his obese mass onto the tiny office chair. The sounds the chair makes under his blubber are ungodly. “What’s wrong?” he inquires. As if seeing a chair defying the laws of physics was a common occurrence. Then he begins to lean back.

Wait, did you hear that? That sound. That was no ordinary creaking coming from his chair. It almost sounded like a scream. Like the scream Lauren made when I killed her. The detective leans back even further. Another scream echoes out. I’m certain of it now. I refuse to acknowledge it though. Further and further he leans back. More and more screams from the chair. Why hasn’t it broken yet? It seems inevitable. Will it explode and send shrapnel at me? Is that his intention?

An eternity later the detective brings in his partner. They both openly mock everything about me. My behavior, my clothes, my taste in music, my lack of friends, and my virginity. Is this even legal? All the while, I hear Lauren’s screams coming from the chairs.

But I hold out. I don’t give them anything and they are forced to give up. As they are leaving, the detective turns back and looks at me with a grin. What he says next shakes me to my core. “NO. MORE. VIDEO. GAMES. STEEVUUUN!” Only then do I realize that the chairs will never stop screaming.