Anonymous E 02/15/21(Mon)06:07:05 No.139581423 >>139581506 >>139581614 >>139581725 >>139581822 >>139582044 >>139583235 >be in the grocery store >suddenly think of a funny thing >start smiling uncontrollably >realize that you are in public where people can see you and you're making a fool of yourself >try to forcibly curb the smile causing kind of a civil war in your face muscles Does this happen in your culture? O Anonymous + 02/15/21(Mon)06:08:49 No.139581506 >>139581423 (OP) # I saw you do this Embarassing

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Anonymous 139 KB JPG 12/19/24(Thu)15:28:13 No.928849473 >Be Rose >Throw away a priceless jewel worth hundreds of millions of dollars >Could have made her family financially secure for generations but says no for le epic symbolism >Reminisces about the man that saved her, but also hogs the floating door like a selfish pig, killing him. (Watch the Mythbusters episode) This is one of the greatest love stories ever told? Dude, Rose is a f------ bitch.

Anonymous (ID: 9Mc0Hnwf 12/19/24(Thu)15:49:03 No.491828169 1.94 MB JPG >sells your gold reserves >basically completely crashes your economy >Canadian dollar crashes >tells leafs to anhero with suicide pods if they get too sick >imports 6 gorillion pajeets to fight over a single Tim Horton's >gets offended when basically only neighbor that has been decent says they would be better off annexed Why leafs? Why?

: Anonymous 05/26/22(Thu)13:13:15 No.68790277 196 KB PNG >Go on omegle >say im interested in politics >match up >ask them about their political opinion >take the radical extreme opposite of the answer >get them riled up >write a question of catalogues >they type for over 2 minutes >disconnect before they can send me their shittext 4 victims today

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Anon buys new clothes and gets called a loser | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 45243472 >be me >22 yo >overweight beta loser >decide to f--- it all and get my life in control >get new clothes >go to the gym >work out harder than ever in my life >sweat dripping off me >can't feel my legs >a couple of chads walk by >hear one of them say to the other >"What a fat loser" 42,2 kB JPG >... >He's technically right >l am losing a lot of fat 3 REPLIES O IMAGES REPLY Anonymous | 45243502 Nice keep going man

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Anon likes 4chan | /r/Greentext

Today at 9:07 PM ik i went for a jogg it was nice whatr u doing for valentines day? Today at 9:19 PM uhhhhh hanging out on 4chan Imao i relate to them i guess >f--- f--- f--- >he doesn't like edgy egirls >how do i fix this he's ignoring me 7h (2/15 5:37) · 62334917 >>62334907 (OP) nothing but bad things can come from telling people you use 4channel

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No one wants to hear Anon's story | /r/Greentext

wonder >be me >find 4chan >want to post irl story >scroll through posts about c-- shorts >scroll by a g--------- >wonder if anyone will give a s--- about a lucid dream story

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Anon discusses Aragorn | /r/Greentext

63 Re · 13 Img JPG 42KB (540 × 540) 19 Replies >rusted, chipped p------------ sword, probably been rusting in the caverns for three decades >"this is a good sword" Was Aragorn the first autistic king?

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Anon wants a girlfriend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/15/21 (Mon)04:18:04 No.847437816 >be me ap Discover something new Sporeored >zerkin off >reading some hentai >see the 2 characters hug eachother >"damn" 77 KB JPG >"...damn.." >think about hugging someone >really want hug someone >think about how nice it would feel >havent hugged someone legitimately in like 8 years I wish i had a girlfriend

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Anon has a bad Valentine's day | /r/Greentext

>bf met up with me just to dump me, on Valentine's day >after I spent three hours making chocolates for him >just gave him them and cried at home 2h (2/15 10:29) · 62337988 I almost felt sorry for but then I remembered that you're not actually a cute anime girl 2h (2/15 10:32) · 62338012 >>62337970 (OP) Why did you give him the chocolate? Should have just poured it all over him or give it to me

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Anon has a police women fetish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/15/21(Mon)12:05:27 No.847435416 DSC_049.png 603 KB PNG >told this girl i had a fetish for police woman >i am black >she sent me this with the caption >"POV i am standing on your neck"

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Anon builds a paper towel rocket | /r/Greentext

File: nostalgic pepe.jpg (18 KB, 500x300) O Anonymous 02/15/21(Mon)01:10:49 No.847420228 >be me >be in science class 8th grade >teacher has a paper towel building competition >me and friends work together to build tower >only 2 designs worked so far, another group and my group >everyone in class copies other group >my group realizes that our tower looks like rocket >we write space x on the side and long live elon musk >teacher says it is time to clean up >we give it a proper space x launch and throw it on the floor >wish i could be happy like i was then

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Anon solved the problem | /r/Greentext

Share the most retarded thing you've ever done. I'll go first. >be me 138 KB PNG >23 days ago >driving drunk as f---, run a red light, ram into a f------ cop car at 20 mph >cars are not too damaged >drunk mind is scared as s--- >unable to think of a reason, stab myself with my pocket knife before the cop comes over >hide knife in glove box >say, "I had been stabbed officer" >cop gives me a ride to the nearest hospital mfw crisis avoided

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Windows crashes for Anon | /r/Greentext

>be me >windows crashes >browser session with 500 tabs didn't open up >realize that by opening the browser i just deleted last session >run recovery software >the session was overwritten by windows defender even though it's turned off by group policy

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Anon wants you to move to Tennessee real bad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: (r7080M/) = You are NOT welcome in Tenness(...) 02/14/21(Sun)18:11:45 No.308125779 Jennessee 1606368708681.jpg 770 KB JPG F--- off, we're full. Stop coming here. You are not welcome here. Your family is not welcome here. Your friends are not welcome here. No, I don't want to hear how you vote red and like conservatism. I don't care that you find it inexpensive to live here. I don't care that you like not having to deal with snow or road salt eating your car. I don't care how you are looking forward to not paying state income tax. F--- you. Every single one of you f---- is a lukewarm cuckservative or lolbertarian who will act against the interests of native Tennesseans every chance you get and you will drive up the housing prices 10% yearly without fail. And every single one of you will bitch about the humidity every chance you get. So l'll say it again: f--- off, we're full. You wouldn't like it here anyway. Wages are low, as in all flyovers. There is nothing here, and absolutely nothing ever happens here. So keep this in mind when deciding on a state to move to to pollute with your filth: F--- OFF, we're FULL. 23 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon is a NEET | /r/Greentext

File: naughtyneet.jpg (216 KB, 819x912) /b/ Anonymous 02/14/21(Sun)18:49:19 No.847377955 [Reply] >be me >be 26 >be NEET >wake up at 7pm >mummy has made dinner >it's vegetables >i hate vegetables >refuse to eat it >"well, you're going to go without dinner tonight, anon" >she thinks she's won >go back to my room >hold myself over for a few hours on mountain dew >wait till mummy is asleep >start screaming "I WANT FOOD I WANT FOOD" as loud as I can >mummy wakes up and stumbles to my door >"anon what are you doing?!? It's midnight!" >walk up real close to my door and stop screaming >"anon, are you ok?" >mummy opens the door >me standing right there >scream "I WANT FOOD!" two inches from her face >she falls backwards into the hall >keep screaming "I WANT FOOD" as I head to the kitchen >start taking food items from the fridge and throw them all over floor >throw gallon of milk onto the ground and it explodes >mummy is pleading with me to stop >"ONLY IF YOU GET ME TENDIES AND TACOS!" >"GET ME TACOS AND TENDIES NOW. I WANT THEM NOW!" >mummy crying >"Why do you do this, anon?!? WHY?!" >mfw I see her getting her car keys >mfw she comes home with hot, greasy tacos and a double serving of Jack in the Box tendies >mfw she'll never get rid of her little boy!

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Greentext Stories - In a human grocery store | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous E 02/15/21(Mon)06:07:05 No.139581423 >>139581506 >>139581614 >>139581725 >>139581822 >>139582044 >>139583235 >be in the grocery store >suddenly think of a funny thing >start smiling uncontrollably >realize that you are in public where people can see you and you're making a fool of yourself >try to forcibly curb the smile causing kind of a civil war in your face muscles Does this happen in your culture? O Anonymous + 02/15/21(Mon)06:08:49 No.139581506 >>139581423 (OP) # I saw you do this Embarassing

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