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: Anonymous 09/10/20(Thu)12:24:26 No.835769198 >be me, mid twenties >always late for work >idea.bat >start jerking off white I'm taking my morning s--- to save time >going well, few months now and I'm late much less 21 KB JPG >one morning, do my business, take a s--- and j-------, get ready for work >walk outside to my car >smell dog s--- >boner God have mercy on me

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext terrestrial plant

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon doesn't like women | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/30/19(Sun)11:39:12 No.803525737 >Be me >cart pusher at ikea >8 hour shift >working hard >38 degree celsius >the sun is burning me >f------ exhausted and 78 KB JPG depressed >feel something poking me >it's a kid >max 4 years old >"Sir, can I have this cart please" >l smile >"of course , buddy" >he thanks me and runs with it towards his mom >my day is suddenly slightly better >finish shift >go back home >j-------, thinking about the little kid >sleep I like my job

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Anon has no one | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/14/21(Sun)02:14:32 No.62738574 14748748378.jpg 301 KB JPG >be me >10 years ago >high school >come back from summer break >talking to people who I think are my "friends" >ask them what they did over the summer >turns out they all did various s--- without me >hiking, camping and various other s--- "sorry we didn't invite you anon, we thought you'd be busy." >can barely even contain their laughter to appear sincere S--- like this is why I don't trust anyone. View Thread

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Anon gets girls | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/13/21(Sat)11:11:54 No.849484612 >be me, 5 years ago >starting high school >major addiction problem >on xanax and benzos 24/7 >look fairly attractive >girls are flirting with me >never horny or think about sex 75 KB JPG because the downers kill my libido >brain too fried to register or give a f--- >i just wanna go home and eat my pills and sleep every day >qt 7/10 makes it very obvious that she is into me and wants to f--- >literally says hey Anon lets f--- >my fried brain registers >i go to her place, im on a coctail of pills >we start kissing, not horny, brain is numb, cant get my d--- hard >try to stick it in soft >doesnt work >say sorry and leave; come home and eat more pills >keep being a pill junkie through most of my time im high school >finally get sober near the end >im horny now and wanna f--- >realize 5 different girls were flirting with me and i ignored them >the girl i tried to f--- told the others that my d--- doesnt work >all the girls think im gay now >im a dumbass

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Anon becomes gay | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 849483586 21 perccel ezelőtt •. >be me >straight >go onto 4chan >go onto /b/ >become gay I'm gay now AMA 90,6 kB JPG

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Anon goes outside | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/12/20(Tue)22:36:00 No.58122654 >go outside >see people with long hair >see people with t--- >see people wearing a dress >they're everywhere W-- guys I thought women were just a meme 280 KB PNG

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Anon shouldn't be regarded as a loser because he didn't have sex | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/15/19(Sat)10:26:32 No.52913952 >26 years old >never had sex >never had a girlfriend >never kissed a girl >never held hands with a girl >never hugged a girl >never flirted with a girl >never had a girl's phone number 56 KB JPG Haha, why is life so f------ unfair? I'm probably like one in a millionth to be this much of a loser.

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Anon has a change of heart | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/28/19(Mon)16:41:49 No.812813526 Maybe black people arnt that bad. >be me, 4 years ago >first day of highschool >hella shy and dont know anyone since I moved 22 KB JPG >day goes welI, then I get on the bus to go home >I'm planning out what I'm gonna do in my head to get off >while planningI miss my stop and say quietly "hey, you missed my stop.." >black kid sitting behind me stands up and yells "AYO BUS LADY, YOU MISSED THIS KIDS STOP!" >she stops the bus and asks who

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>write greentext >immediately post to r/greentext for shekels | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 03/13/21(Sat)12:39:44 No.849505496 >be with gf >kinky sex have her tied up with buttplu in >railing her from behind >she yelps louder than normal >pull out to see if shes okay >look down and no longer see the pretty pink jewel >w--.jpg >enhance >spread cheeks wider >buttplug completely inside of her >need to think fast while she sits there in pain >ninja training takes over >at the speed of light my hand shoots in to retrieve the buried treasure >she lets another wince as I rip it out of her >she lays there shaking >"Was your whole hand in my a------?" >"Just these three" >I hold up the buttpug with my index, middle finger and thumb >l explain I must have pushed it in from the inside due to a bad angled thrust. >We laugh it off and clean up >never came but its okay I love her and know she knows >next morning >head when we wake up >later >sitting bored and decided to write this up >she lays on my arm proof reading this >love this girl

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Anon displays american politics | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/13/21(Sat)15:27:35 No.849515193 >less stimulus than promised >16 million more children cut from eligibility >no minimum wage increase >bombing Syria >no mask mandate >over 100 thousand dead of 125 KB JPG COVID on his watch >no student loan forgiveness What a f------ disappointment

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Anon is in trouble | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/20/19(Thu)23:01:14 No.53008163 >be me >watching fetish p--- on pornhub >dad is in the bedroom beside me >we can hear each other's coughing from each other's room. >video starts 6 KB JPG >can't hear s--- >turn volume up >BRAAAAAAP >ohshit.jpeg >Stop video >hear dad turn in his bed It over boys. Il'm f-----.

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Freudian slip it in | /r/Greentext

File: a09.png (387 KB, 680x708) Anonymous 03/13/21(Sat)14:25:15 No.62733814 [Reply] >be me >In uni >Have to take Spanish class to fullfil some requirement >Part of our grade is a spoken portion that consists of us all sitting down and the teacher asking us questions and us answering them infront of the class >Already kinda f----- up on it before and my grade is pretty s--- in the class, need to do better this time around >Professor asks me several questions, and eventually asks me to describe my girlfriend or make up stuff if I don't have one (i obviously don't) >Blank a little >"mi novio es de Argentina, mi novio tiene 20 anos, a mi novio le gusta escuchar musica." >Professor responds "That's good anon but I think you meant "mi novia" >Realized that I forgot to properly gender the words >Realize I still need a good grade in this class >Respond "no, i meant to say that" >Get an A in that sleeping portion >Obviously gay kid asks to hang out after class F------ spanish made me gay.

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Anon has a reasonable question | /r/Greentext

12 Re · 4 Img · JPG · 77KB · (461 × 682) 6 Replies >some caveman coomer with a thicc fetish made this so he could coom in his cave since most women in his tribe were thin and skinny >modern liberals interpret it as some female godess worship or that it proves matriarchal society existed or some other gay explanation Why is prehistory taken seriously again?

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Greentext Stories - Anon had an idea | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous 09/10/20(Thu)12:24:26 No.835769198 >be me, mid twenties >always late for work >idea.bat >start jerking off white I'm taking my morning s--- to save time >going well, few months now and I'm late much less 21 KB JPG >one morning, do my business, take a s--- and j-------, get ready for work >walk outside to my car >smell dog s--- >boner God have mercy on me

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