If my life is a show.
It's a porno.

I doubt people would watch because my life is really kind of boring. I imagine my audience would sound like this:

Spectator 1: “Wow! Nate got up and is getting a cup of coffee!”
Spectator 2: “Seriously? I thought he did that back in Episode 332.”
Spectator 3: “Except this is time, ITS DECAFF!”
Spectator 2: “Really?”
Spectator 1 & 3: “YEAH!”
Spectators 1, 2 & 3: “…”
Spectator 1: “Why are we watching this show again?”