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: Anonymous Optimistic /bots/ 05/14/18(Mon)05:43:07 No.45385219 > Wake up at 5:30am >Kinda early but I'm hungry >lt's chilly and dark outside >l wash my face and go to the kitchen wen day is dark alway rember happy day >I toast some bread and spread butter with strawberry jam 261 KB PNG >I like strawberry jam >Brew a cup of coffee >I like the smell of a fresh brewed cup >l go back to my room and open the window >The sounds of birds and the leaves are waving from the wind >A chilly wind cools me and I sit and sip from my cup >Eat toast >Just enjoy the sunrise and weather >Deeply breathe the fresh cold weather >Today is a good day >Stay optimistic /bots/ >l just like mornings

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon lacks self control | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)19:03:43 No.63066265 >Wake up. >Decide to have some cheesecake after breakfast. >End up eating the entire thing. It's not fair they should not be allowed to sell entire cheesecakes 61 KB JPG they know people will do this. 4 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)19:08:55 No.63066310 >>63066265 (OP) # Don't buy cheesecake in the first place fatty. >>63066349 # : Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)19:09:38 No.63066320 >>63066265 (OP) # need tummy rubs?

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Anon acts like a boomer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous times you were based 04/08/21(Thu)06:00:38 No.63108824 >minding my own business at home on a Tuesday >hear noise outside >look out the window >some high schoolers making a ruckus on the sidewalk in front of 170 KB PNG my lawn when they should be at school >open window >YOU DAMN KIDS BETTER GET BACK TO CLASS AND GET OFF MY LAWN >they curse me and flip me off but leave anyways

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anon has standards | /r/Greentext

File: 186115782387.jpg (483 KB, 1696x2480) O Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)01:47:19 No.63110377 [Reply] >ask cute girl out >she rejects me :( >ask another cute girl out >she rejects me too >ask really ugly girl out begrudgingly >she accepts and is way too happy >ghost her and never go outside again

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Anon is peeing on his girlfriend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)03:17:38 No.851552469 >be me >got a distance relationship >gf comes over for 2 weeks >she decided to take a 468 KB PNG shower >I go with her because why not >she started to take the shower and says >'ll pee >im disgusted and say that I don't want her to piss in my shower >she did it anyway >l see that the shower isn't entirely closed and I decided to piss into the shower >she screams: YOU PEED ON MY FEET Piss in my shower, I piss on you

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Anon has a job | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/23/17(Mon)23:27:58 No.40623659 Job Greentexts This happened last night. >Get job at McDonalds, need cash >Work in the back arranging the meals >qt 3.14 comes in with-8 yo daughter, asks for a chicken nugget Наррy Meal 225 KB PNG >daughter is really polite to casier, says please and everything >throw in an extra nugget because of her kindness >few mins later, manager tells me to mop a spill >its right next to the mom and her daughter >evesdrop on them >"Mommy look, the people in the back gave me an extra nugget, why?" >mom replies, "Its because they're dumb enough to work here that they cant count" >mfw >mom and daughter laugh while I walk away Why are people so unappreciative? 13 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon had a close call | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/07/21(Wed)17:09:57 No.63097143 >see girl dressed as my favorite character at a con >cute as hecc >start walking towards her gathering all the courage I have ever had >her ogre mom suddenly appears and talks to her >l immediately stop a few feet away and turn around think that was a close one anons, may have caught a felony despite her looking ~18 |

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Anon is a modern Icarus | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/06/19(Tue)00:40:07 No.119151659 >it's another "teeth falls out of your mouth" dream episode 201 KB PNG : Anonymous 08/06/19(Tue)03:08:47 No.119155050 >>119151659 (OP) # The other day I had a dream that I could suck my own d--- but then I accidentally choked on it and died 64 KB JPG >>119155083 # >>119155341 # : Anonymou Anonymous 08/06/19(Tue)03:24:37 No.119155341 : Anonymou >119155050 # A modern Icarus : Anonymou

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Anon has to pee | /r/Greentext

E Anonymous 08/31/17(Thu)05:21:54 No.39418827 >Be in 7th grade >Have to piss >Teacher does that whole "I don't know, can you?" b------- >"May I use the restroom Mr. Anonderson" >Book it to bathroom while holding my peener hole closed >Urinals are taken >See unlocked stall >Kick the door open like they do in the movies >See kid squatting on the toilet, s------- frog style >See turd retreat back into his a------ like a scared turtle >Piss myself

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Anon is gets fixed on a Quintessential Path of Sole Destruction | /r/Greentext

File: pepsiman.jpg (35 KB, 637x358) Anonymous 04/07/21(Wed)22:54:23 No.63109336 ► >>63110213 >boss comes up to me at work >asks me to stop muttering things under my breath because some of the girls are getting scared work stories thread Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)00:02:33 No.63109981 ► >63110122 Stop muttering and start staring at them. Then when your boss warns you about that stop staring and start licking your lips. Then when they complain about that, start thrusting your hips a little when you walk. Their complaints are going to start making them sound ridiculous. PEPS

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Anon gets back at his teacher | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/08/21(Thu)06:47:39 No.63109275 F--- >be me >11th grade >anatomy and physiology >dissecting sheep brains >annoying bitch teacher yelling at 4 KB PNG us for no reason >she does this s--- every day >l'm sick of this s--- >I form a plan >put plastic bag in trash can >throughout the lab I walk past every kid in class and whisper to them >put the brain in the plastic bag when you're done >class ends >we "throw our brains away" >secure bag >wait until school is over >wednesday so all the teachers have conferences after school >walk into her room >put all of the brains in a filing cabinet >next week >something f------ reeks >"WHO THE HELL IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS" >stanky ass brains in the cabinet >nobody tells >l'm a free man >even gave one of them to the weird girl because she wanted to put it in a jar Sorry Mrs. P. You deserved it. >>63109359 #

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Anon genuinely wanted to help | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/07/21 (Wed)18:08:14 No.63097597 > be on a school trip to museum > open doors for girls > classmates laugh > couple weeks pass > Chad doess the same thing > he gets praised and applauded 13 KB JPG > help an old lady carry bags > 'will you f--- her haha? > Chad helps a woman > this is based 15 years later I still hate these people and have refrained from helping others which of course makes me an a------ You can't win. It is always a lose-lose

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Anon helps an exchange student | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/03/19(Thu)11:29:42 No.789007932 >in school >chinese transfer student comes up to me >barely speaks english >"anon how speak person that make you learn in class?" >he means teacher 8 KB JPG >teacher is black >idea >"oh it's n-----" >ching chong steps into class >happy exclaims "HI N-----" >mfw View Thread

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Greentext Stories - Anon likes mornings. | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous Optimistic /bots/ 05/14/18(Mon)05:43:07 No.45385219 > Wake up at 5:30am >Kinda early but I'm hungry >lt's chilly and dark outside >l wash my face and go to the kitchen wen day is dark alway rember happy day >I toast some bread and spread butter with strawberry jam 261 KB PNG >I like strawberry jam >Brew a cup of coffee >I like the smell of a fresh brewed cup >l go back to my room and open the window >The sounds of birds and the leaves are waving from the wind >A chilly wind cools me and I sit and sip from my cup >Eat toast >Just enjoy the sunrise and weather >Deeply breathe the fresh cold weather >Today is a good day >Stay optimistic /bots/ >l just like mornings

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