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: Anonymous 04/19/21(Mon)08:20:17 No.852447592 >be me >sad about small d--- >buy clone a willy >make my c--- into a dildo >suck my own cockdildo >w--.jpg >this s--- feels huge in my mouth 7 KB JPG >i no longer feel sad about my d--- >i appreciate my c--- now >thanks clone a willy

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font terrestrial plant happy

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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File size: 181 KB

HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon doesn't need GBP as it isn't invented yet | /r/Greentext

File: CaveBoy.png (76 KB, 207x195) O Anonymous 09/13/20(Sun)13:58:22 No.60027826 >Be me, mamas 275 lb caveboy >No can fit out of cave >Mama hunt for me >She get small bird and boil it with fat and fine grains >She crush small seeds and mix with honey for dip >Also mix water and sour green fruit with honey >No eat anything else >Mama come to cave one day >"Me no eat for half day, tum tum hurt while you away" "Sorry anon, no find small bird. Me find elk instead" 000000000000000000000OGA >Me grab club >"If no small bird for the tum tum, you will be this caveboy's yum yum!" >Bonk mama hard on head >get flint knife and chop mama into pieces >boil in pot >OMNOMNOM.gif >That teach bitch

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Americans will measure with anything but the metric system | /r/Greentext

04/29/21(Thu)10:12:07 No.63434046 : Anonymous = >tfw no big d--- >d--- is the same length and girth as a wiimote how f----- am l? 50 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)10:20:43 No.63434134 >>63434079 # The wiimote is most certainly not 6.3 inches. 931 KB JPG >>63434154 # >>63434254 # : Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)10:22:37 No.63434154 >>63434134 # Oh s---, I thought the wiimote was a lot bigger. You're probably still fine though, like the girth seems pretty good.

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Hold the salami | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)10:10:06 No.16025656 File: 1615107116300.jpg (54 KB, 793x786) >>16025778 >working at subway >l'm up front cleaning off tables >cute coworkers in the back talking >"anon is kind of cute" >"yeah but he's kind of gay or something" >mfw I was interested, I was just really shy

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Anon is cool | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/03/21(Sun)17:43:08 No.843898968 ZONE cool 1607458244680.jpg 92 KB JPG >going into store >see some rough looking fellas just outside entrance >nervous >walk by and say 'yo' >one says 'sup g? >mfw im a cool guy now Well since im cool now this will be my last time on 4chan, later f---

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Anon isn't bright | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)15:04:14 No.63435820 Am I retarded? >be me >Final year in high school >chatting with friends in class >girl who sat beside me gives me her number on a rolled-up piece of 3 KB JPG paper >"oh, neat" shove it into my pocket and forget about it >next semester >teacher lets us sit wherever we want >no friends in class so no one to sit beside, pick back row because I can f--- around without teacher caring/knowing >same girl sits beside me >whatever.mp4 >one day she rests her head on my shoulder >"damn, she must be tired" >just let it happen >be me now, 2 years later >realize she wanted the D : Anonymous 04/29/21 (Thu)15:07:22 No.63435842 >>63435820 (OP) # Yes you are a retard or at the very least, a eunuch f----- : Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)15:07:45 No.63435846 >>63435820 (OP) # Jesus Christ. Yes.

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anon works at dunkin donuts | /r/Greentext

E Anonymous 03/28/21(Sun)21:14:20 No.62961471 >Be me >Wagecuck >Work at dunkin donuts >Every morning this a------ drives up in his truck and orders a hot coffee >Makes a big deal about it being fresh and "piping hot" >becomes known around the store for being a pain in the 87 KB PNG ass to serve >one morning it's just me and another coworker >Truck guy pulls up and demands that we make it "fresh and hotter than yesterday" >Coworker makes coffee then he gets an idea >Takes the lid off and immediately dunks his balls in the coffee >Falls to the floor screaming, steaming coffee all over his balls and the floor >manager comes in and takes him to the hospital >Turns out he has second degree burns on his balls >Next day manager takes me aside and says if I tell anybody Dunkin will sue me >Pic related

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Anon makes some friends at school | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/08/17(Wed)11:54:38 No.40973565 >ex-classmate creates a messenger group >adds me and other classmates in it >another classmate asks what this group is for >have the sudden inexplicable urge 29 KB JPG to say >"One word, PARTY!" >decide not to in the last moment >classmate that texts >its for another classmate's mother's funeral >tfw I almost called a burial a party

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Anon makes a 360 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/13/19(Fri)20:17:08 No.55791927 DESPAIR >f--- around in high school and college >full on loser between 18-22, couldn't cook, drive, etc, just went to work and skipped classes >eventually realize that staying blackpilled about achieving my BUT ALSO EVERITHING CONSIDERED, A DETERMINEO SOIL WILL ALNAYS MANIGE. 412 KB JPG goals and setting doesn't give me closure or fulfillment >start doing an almost complete 180, buy a used car and get another job, register for classes >started speaking up more often, ignore vague/unimportant criticism from family, bulldoze through minor tasks or practice autistically until I can get them right >started forcing openings in my schedule instead of waiting for them, plan out things to do with old friends and actively try to meet new ones >don't care about failure anymore, would rather go down fighting for success instead of laying around depressed

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Anon is gonna lose it | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/28/21(Wed)09:25:14 No.63420428 >live a long ass way from my college >don't have a car so I go by bus >takes me nearly 2 hours to get there >get there on time 43 KB JPG >professor needs to see that we did a negative Corona test that morning >f------ forgot mine at home >he f------ sends me away

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Anon has schizophrenia | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)09:35:36 No.63438665 >Doctors are starting to think about putting me on injectable meds to treat my >Schizophrenia f--- these n------ and their poison meds 6 KB JPG 3 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)09:38:01 No.63438685 >Schizophrenia >poison meds OP I don't know how to tell you... 34 KB JPG >>63438692 #

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Anon fell right into the trap | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)09:05:41 No.63433445 >staring out of my apartment window >see woman trying to open locked gate to the construction site across the street >leave my room and go down there and tell her she's barred 1.24 MB PNG from entering; it's locked >met with complete indifference >turn back and head towards the stairs >just as I'm turning, I get hit in the face and knocked to the ground >get kicked in the ribs several times and stepped on for good measure >manage to wipe the blood off my face and catch a glimpse of who's doing this to me >see an elderly Chinese man with his cane in one hand and service revolver in the other >realize the woman was a ruse to get me out of my apartment >the elderly Chinese man's Triad underlings arrive to surround me and cordon off the exit >forces me at gunpoint to play MAHJONG and defeat them or l'll be banished from the Hua and out into the land of the Yi (our term for barbarians) for eternity : Anonymous 04/29/21(Thu)09:07:17 No.63433467 >>63433445 (OP) # Take your meds and get some sleep

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Anon can't go swimming | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/31/17(Thu)21:44:54 No.743795350 T >About 600 gators are now in the flood water in Houston >Apparently HIV-positive blood has leaked into said 51 KB JPG water (from hospitals being flooded n s---) >AFAIK they're warning people not to go in the water because of the GatorAIDS POOL'S CLOSED

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Greentext Stories - Anon is no longer sad | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous 04/19/21(Mon)08:20:17 No.852447592 >be me >sad about small d--- >buy clone a willy >make my c--- into a dildo >suck my own cockdildo >w--.jpg >this s--- feels huge in my mouth 7 KB JPG >i no longer feel sad about my d--- >i appreciate my c--- now >thanks clone a willy

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