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Anonymous 716321829 1 hr. ago ... >Brother and I. >Check Craigslist when we're 19, year the 360 Elite came out. >Trying to find cheap launch 360's to nab up, since CoD babies are selling them for Elites. >Find a guy selling his for $110. >Meet at his apartment. >Dude seems okay, not a whole lot odd. >Brings out the Xbox, a couple games, and 2 controllers. >Says "F--- it, 'Il take $10 off. It ain't even mine. It's my roomates. I recorded him f------ my girl, and they don't know it. I'm selling all their s--- off as revenge." >We're both like... "Holy f---, that blows. Is that his TV?" >He throws in a 32-inch widescreen for another $50. >Asks if we're hungry. ... >4 hours later, we've hit McDonalds, gotten drunk, and are playing pool at the local Billiards Hall. >Dude drops us his phone number incase we ever wanna hang out again. 10 years later, we were groomsmen at his wedding. Dude finished college 2 years after we met him, and makes 300k a year at a banking branch in SC. We still play video games and s--- over Discord. Best f------ Craigslist ad ever. TL;DR: >We went to buy an Xbox. >Ended up with a bro for life.

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Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon can’t prove his orientation anymore | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/18/21(Tue)21:12:56 No.854729013 >be me, loser living with parents >go out to hit the gym with a bro >halfway through, get a text from mom >"hey anon, i was looking for some movies and i found a folder named 6 KB JPG gigachad, why is it full with muscular men?" >ohshit.mp4 >mfw she now thinks i'm gay wat do

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Anon debunks Stacys | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/18/21(Tue)16:32:04 No.63725215 Do attractive women from well off families have the easiest life paths? >born into wealthy family >grow up popular, everyone nice to them, have their pick of partner in 156 KB JPG hs >too busy having fun in hs to get good grades, doesn't matter >go to random college, party, have a good time while in joke degree like communications >graduate and get s--- job, suddenly life hits them like a tons of bricks >suddenly they're poor for the first time ever >still young and hot though, so things could be worse, still partying >after a year or two slumming it, they realize it sucks, partying getting old >also notice wrinkles etc. for the first time, realize their looks already peaked >decide it's time to pick a rich guy to marry while they are still hot >live rest of life in luxury in exchange for f------ their husband once a week >well anons, does anyone else have it easier?

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I went through hell to get this | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 05/17/21(Mon)21:37:37 No.854688612 File: 1620191086237.jpg (269 KB, 2057x2429) SAME AS IT EVER WAS >Be me SAME WAS >24M >On my way to eat Subway >practice my order in my head >walk in SAM WAS SAM WAS >finally it's my time to order >Cashier Lady: "welcome to Subway, what can I get you" BAMEA TEH WAS >Me: "uhhhh yeah, can I get a football meat long" >start to panic "ah f---, uhhhh, I meant can I get a meatlong foot sub" >f--- up #2 >"umm never mind, l'll see you later" >walk out >never been back to Subway

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Anon‘s girlfriend won‘t stop farting | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: qcqw+HFF ) = 07/09/20(Thu)23:57:38 No.267224774 >gf keep farting during sex >i tell her to stop >stop what >stop farting >im not farting >keep f------ her >she keeps farting 167 KB JPG : Anonymous (ID: 7/3bbaXz 07/10/20(Fri)00:00:08 No.267225026 Best thread on 4chan right now >>267225105 #

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Anon wants to be loved | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous parents 05/18/21(Tue)07:49:44 No.63718866 >be me 12 >parents abbusive as s--- >all of us in living room tv ad plays with cool music >autistic plan made: What if I dance in a cool way to the tv ad that'll surely make them love me right? 40 KB JPG >drop comes >jump out of my chair start some autistic twitching >cat gets scared >runs thru charging cable of dad's laptop and yanks it out of his lap real hard >brakes >they beat me up >pic generic pepe Why can't I ever be loved anons?

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Anon doesn‘t realize his luck | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/18/21(Tue)05:07:55 No.63719328 >still get asked for ID when trying to buy beer >tfw I'm 28 year old 64 KB JPG

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Anon extends the night | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/18/21(Tue)05:03:16 No.63723542 >see sun coming up >block window >cover door cracks >no sunlight >it's still night time now i beat the sun 22 KB PNG 8 Replies / 3 Images View Thread

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Anon gets circumcised | /r/Greentext

>into the cartoon "Osmosis Jones" as a kid >watch it nearly every day from age 4-7 >some years pass >im 12 watching p--- for the first time >i try to peel back my foreskin like I see in these videos >its impossible, excruciating pain 683 KB PNG >go to the doctor, I have to get circumcised >its a painful procedure, miss a week of school and everything >as im laying in bed recovering, my dad starts calling me "Phimosis Jones" >a day or two later, one his colleagues has to come over to the house >he introduces me as "my son PJ" and gives me a wink >starts calling me 'PJ' more than my real name >my sisters and mom start calling me PJ too >im now 25 and all my friends and family call me PJ despite my real name starting with a T >when meeting new people they inevitably ask how I got the nickname >I have to tell them about my childhood phimosis >most people get really weirded out by it its not fair, release me from this hell bros

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Anon finds the nword funny | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 05/18/21(Tue)16:30:27 No.63724041 [Reply] > >>63724129 >Be me >sitting in chair >just now >Randomly remember that the N-word exists >Start chuckling followed by hysterically laughing >No racial implications, it's just funny >Keep repeating "N----- be like" followed by random mouth sound effect in between laughter >Currently crying laughing so, how's your morning, bros?

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Anon gets used | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/21/19(Sat)08:49:09 No.54508315 >be me >live with a girl >bigtiddygothgf.png >have been with her for 6 years now >there's one problem >she only uses me to satisfy her primal urges 8 KB GIF >every single morning and sometimes before bed she remembers my existence and wants me to fulfil her bodily needs >that's it >besides that, I have no other functions in the relationship >because of it im always stressed and think about losing her, being replaced, always worry that I no longer satisfy her, think that I've become rusty >then suddenly >one day she comes back home visibly depressed >doesn't look at me at all for a while >after a week she suddenly remembers that I exist, and this time it seems like she believes I can help in other ways >she wants to go to the bathroom for some reason >we go there, the bath is filled with hot water >she wants us to bathe together >she gets in first, then helps me climb in as well >suddenly drops me >she's immediately electrocuted >mfw im a toaster

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And yet again Elon Musk saves the day | /r/Greentext

>be me >traveling to Earth to annihilate the human race >see earth >fire up the death ray >too late 19 KB JPG >get hit by a f------ tesla roadster traveling at f------ mach speed playing david bowie >completely destroys my ship and kills my entire crew >mfw

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Anon feels good to be a man | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/18/21 (Tue)06:59:55 No.63718263 >lines on face >t--- saggy and pulling apart >belly growing >only 25 32 KB JPG 17 Replies / 3 Images View Thread : Anonymous 05/18/21(Tue)07:30:35 No.63718656 Damn I'm almost the same age OP and my looksmaxxing is going well, feels good to be a man

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Greentext Stories - Anon makes a friend | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

Anonymous 716321829 1 hr. ago ... >Brother and I. >Check Craigslist when we're 19, year the 360 Elite came out. >Trying to find cheap launch 360's to nab up, since CoD babies are selling them for Elites. >Find a guy selling his for $110. >Meet at his apartment. >Dude seems okay, not a whole lot odd. >Brings out the Xbox, a couple games, and 2 controllers. >Says "F--- it, 'Il take $10 off. It ain't even mine. It's my roomates. I recorded him f------ my girl, and they don't know it. I'm selling all their s--- off as revenge." >We're both like... "Holy f---, that blows. Is that his TV?" >He throws in a 32-inch widescreen for another $50. >Asks if we're hungry. ... >4 hours later, we've hit McDonalds, gotten drunk, and are playing pool at the local Billiards Hall. >Dude drops us his phone number incase we ever wanna hang out again. 10 years later, we were groomsmen at his wedding. Dude finished college 2 years after we met him, and makes 300k a year at a banking branch in SC. We still play video games and s--- over Discord. Best f------ Craigslist ad ever. TL;DR: >We went to buy an Xbox. >Ended up with a bro for life.

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