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: Anonymous 05/22/21(Sat)22:34:03 No.855076140 >be me >jacking off alone >hear knock on door notagain.jpeg "COME IN" >hear door unlock 33 KB PNG >giggles THUMP THUMP THUMP >his c--- drags on the last step >he opens my door "Anon... I'm not here to r--- you, take some raviolis" >thanks r--- dwarf "Jk Imao" >bonk >knocked out >wake up with dwarf c-- in my ass

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Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Anonymous (ID: yVmtb1wg) ▼ Settings Mobile Home 02/01/25(Sat)15:43:09 No.496125464 Pup "Tings Pop Tingz @ThePopTingz Följ Denmark is reportedly planning on increasing tariffs for Ozempic by 500% for the US only. Översätt inlägget 11:20 01 feb. 25 1M Visningar 504 KB PNG amerifats WILL kneel in the end Anonymous (ID: 0bRhhOGo) E >>496125464 (OP) MPIC OZEMP 02/01/25(Sat)15:44:11 No.496125553 Can you say that again Sven? I didn't hear you over all the bombs going off in your country. Anonymous (ID: yVmtb1wg) >>496125553 rude 02/01/25(Sat)15:45:03 No.496125627

Trump says he ordered air strikes on Islamic State group in Somalia 301 301 SAFE US AFRICA COMMAND US Defence Secretary Pete Hegseth said the strikes "further degrade" the ability of IS in Somalia George Wright BBC News 1 February 2025, 17:42 GMT Updated 35 minutes ago Donald Trump says he ordered military air strikes on a senior attack planner and others from the Islamic State (IS) group in Somalia. "These killers, who we found hiding in caves, threatened the United States and our Allies," Trump posted on social media. 1aa90f.png 611 KB PNG >US airliners falling out of the skies >Egg prices soaring >Deportation photo op failed >Melania getting Trudeau'd >Trump looking to deflect attention OFFIC

Anonymous (ID: y8De0+0A 02/03/18 (Sat)20:54:28 No.7275061 >dad buys 2015 Diesel Dodge Ram >6 months later says "I think I'm gonna buy a new truck" >whatthefuck.jpeg 128 KB JPG >"why you just got a new one" >"I'm gonna buy a 2016. Those diesel Engines last forever" >"then why don't you make your 2015 last forever" >says I don't understand vehicles >tfw he's over $70,000 in debt and doesn't understand why Is my dad retarded?

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Anon has the highground | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/23/21(Sun)17:51:42 No.855112209 > Working at IT department in bank > Company currently joined the woke-train and now we get all kinds of workshops on why straight white men are the devil > Roll eyes - none of the 1.48 MB GIF Directors/VPs are of color... > People start to insert moronic 'she/her' and 'his/him' to their signatures > Getting so annoyed by this, I insert 'they/them' in my signature > One of my colleagues (and one of the drivers behind this whole moronification of signatures) asks me about my signature > I reply "I don't think it's appropriate to talk about these things at work - please just respects my pronouns" > This person goes mad, accusing me of mocking the pronouns > I think "F--- it. No way for her to prove it", and step to HR to complain > Colleague is being asked to stop her questioning (and gets her first official warning), but still brings it up two more times > I go to HR again, she gets her second official warning > I'm enjoying that this moronic s--- is now biting the proponents in their ass > Again, she's alluding to my pronouns not being genuine during a meeting >I make a big scene of it (lulz), and HR gets involved again > Last Friday was her last day. So what have YOU been doing to make this world a better place?

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Everyone liked that. | /r/Greentext

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Anon introduces himself to his new girlfriend's mom. | /r/Greentext

>Be shy 17 year old >Meet girl at a party >She is pretty >Always wants to touch, sit on lap etc. >Party ends >She proposes to go on a walk 87 KB PNG >Agree, have small nice talk outside >She then asks me to come to her house >Yes23.jpg >Grsbs my hand, practically tows me to her house >Go in, have sex >Sweaty, go to her kitchen to grab drink >Her mom is there >Im naked >brain_shudown.gif >Grab her hand and say "Hello, my name is Anon" I will never forget

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Anon tells us about his new year’s kiss | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/31/18(Mon)03:24:02 No.50148958 >Happy New Year's Eve, anon! So which lucky lady are you kissing at midnight? 247 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/31/18(Mon)03:26:18 No.50148995 >>50148958 (OP) # The barrel of my shotgun probably.

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Anon consumes a high calorie diet on a consistent basis thus resulting in excess weight gain | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)19:03:43 No.63066265 >Wake up. >Decide to have some cheesecake after breakfast. >End up eating the entire thing. It's not fair they should not be allowed to sell entire cheesecakes 61 KB JPG they know people will do this. 4 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 04/05/21(Mon)19:08:55 No.63066310 >>63066265 (OP) # Don't buy cheesecake in the first place fatty. >>63066349 # : Anonymous 04/05/21 (Mon)19:09:38 No.63066320 >>63066265 (OP) # need tummy rubs?

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Anon watches Aladdin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/02/19(Sun)20:10:42 No.801247791 >be me >going to watch the new Aladdin remake >kinda reluctant to go cause I'm not a huge fan of these live action remakes but my sister wants go so I might as well >not super into how much they've 461 KB JPG changed >one character catches me off guard >my god this character is so f------ beautiful >beautiful hair >beautiful skin >beautiful eyes >Abu the monkey is so f------ hot... >pic unrelated : Anonymous 06/02/19(Sun)20:12:06 No.801247869 bro you don't have to tell me twice, Naomi Scott is a sexy little minx I'd love to c-- on her t--- : Anonymous 06/02/19(Sun)20:13:06 No.801247938 oh f--- you OP i just finished reading your post f--- you, you f------ f-----

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Anon is a PC user | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/22/21(Sat)17:02:52 No.855056361 >got little nightmares 2 on steam >looks fun! can't wait to try it >boot it up and notice it doesn't have ultra wide support >no problem, nothing a little hex edit can't fix >try to hex edit but it crashes the game 49 KB JPG >DRM.jpeg >have to use a software to unpack the game to remove DRM >crashes twice but finally manage to get a DRM-free version >proceed to hex edit for 21:9 ratio, it works >imin.png >boot up game and notice my FOV is all f----- up from the ultra wide ratio >have to install a unity DLL injector to activate console commands >windows flagged the injector as a threat >have to manually turn off fire wall and give it clearance >finally fix the FOV using console commands >time to play! >controller stopped working >realize that the unpacked version of the game isn't technically through steam so my PS5 controller isn't natively supported >download a 3rd party software so I can use my controller >controller works again! >can finally play the game PC master race reigns supreme once again : Anonymous 05/22/21(Sat)17:04:23 No.855056456 My friend recommended it to me, how is it? 66 KB JPG

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Anon brightens up his parents week | /r/Greentext

Small acts of kindness are something we can all do to make our lives less s---. There is no excuse not to do stuff like this. >Be me 96 KB JPG >Uni student depressed >Walking to nearby liquor store to numb the pain >Tourist trap store on the way >Sells tacky souvenirs and whatnot >Go in on a whim >Postcard is like f------ 25 cents >Buy one >Wake up next morning with hangover >See postcard >Look up online how to fill it out because who the f--- knows how to fill out a postcard in current year >Fill it out >Send to mom and dad >Just like two banal sentences about how I'm doing ok (a lie) and how I hope they are taking good care of my cat >Like 5 days later >Mom calls me to say how much getting that postcard meant to them >Says it made their entire week >Don't drink myself to sleep that night for the first time in a long time

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Anon has problems with math | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/23/21(Sun)08:20:31 No.63797292 01 45D096F4-D326-4695-B1CD-A273FED8EE6E.gif 1.28 MB GIF >cheated on a math quiz >still only got like an 85 This was meant to be a review chapter

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Anon works in a suicide prevention hotline. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/19/18(Tue)06:39:13 No.771942963 Hey /b/ I work at a suicide prevention hotline based in the Midwest. Ask me anything while I tell you stories. Let's start with a nice one: 25 KB JPG >Be me, just getting off call with a girl who wanted to kill herself over some guy leaving >Logging the notes of the call while microwaving a soft pretzel >F--- me those pretzels are good >Phone on desk starts to ring >Rush back and pick it up >An old raspy sounding man starts talking >Ask me "Do you got time for a story" >Have to respond yes >Think he is going to tell me a depressing war story, or his entire life story >Old people do that a lot >Guy responds "You ever heard of animal farm" >l'm a f------ retard >think he's talking about a literal farm, they are everywhere here >l ask him to clarify >"You know the book" >Nope.com >"Oh perfect" >The old man starts reading me animal farm >He does different voices for all the characters unism I had to ask him to call back later after about 20 minutes, we were getting more calls. Old man, if you are out there somewhere thanks for the best f------ night shift I ever had. 132 Replies / 28 Images View Thread

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Anon cuts onion | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/23/19(Tue)16:41:47 No.51699198 >me, 4 years ago >24 >disgustingly obese piece of garbage >best friend fit as hell >tells me i should lose weight, never pushing it on me too much tho >keep telling him i could, if i wanted to, but i don't care >yeah... sure... >one day he signs me up for gym membership and offers to pay for it >"i just want a gym buddy, bruh. you don't have to do much, if you don't want to." >okaythen.jpg >friend gets into car accident 2 days later >dies. >m------------ dies. have not skipped a gym day since. lost ~200lbs (90kg) that first year. keeping it up to become the f------ bear he always told me i could be, if i cared and was disciplined enough. i'm gonna make it, bro. i'm gonna make it. >>51699222 # >>51699394 # >>51699701 # >>51699902 # >>51700551 # >>51701276 #

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Anon is too shy | /r/Greentext

O Marcissus IN9EDLMFSKI 08/11/11(Thu)12:43 No.8767351 File 1313080993 png-(9 KB, 288x350, 1310957042554 png) >walking down street >group of hot girls ahead on sidewalk >oh f--- >aspie overload >cross street to avoid social WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS contact >they notice me crossing >they giggle >f--- this i'll just pretend i live at this house" >go down random driveway >curtains shuffle >middle aged woman stars at me out the window >tum around fast >3 girls stood staring at me >this is their house >rapidly think of plan B >'have you accepted jesus as your lord and saviour?

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Greentext Stories - Anon witnesses a rape dwarf/ravioli man crossover | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous 05/22/21(Sat)22:34:03 No.855076140 >be me >jacking off alone >hear knock on door notagain.jpeg "COME IN" >hear door unlock 33 KB PNG >giggles THUMP THUMP THUMP >his c--- drags on the last step >he opens my door "Anon... I'm not here to r--- you, take some raviolis" >thanks r--- dwarf "Jk Imao" >bonk >knocked out >wake up with dwarf c-- in my ass

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