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Anon creates his masterpiece | /r/Greentext
Uploaded by Reddit Moments Jun 20, 2021 at 10:25AM EDT
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![O Anonymous 01/24/12(Tue)15:18 No. 126454520 [!]>126454864 >>126454985 >>126455075 >>126455555 File1327443484. gif-(8 KB, 645x773, 1324350713656. gif) igdb google >dad is in army >comes back from his tour of Irag >brought me a fortnight's worth of MRE's to eat >one whole week into eating nothing but MRE's, have to s--- so bad it's like an a--- apocalypse has set course for my butthole >stopped eating MRE's for a week, been over 120 hours since I last s--- >mother and father are concerned >l ask for laxatives, I desperately need them at this point >dad goes out and buys me an enema >so f------ p-----, don't understand how to use it >decide it's time >go into the big family bathroom, lock the door >sit down, spread my cheeks with my hands and push >it's not coming out >it's like a f------ Howitzer shell trapped between the headspace of a plumbing pipe already sewn shut with fecal matter >this becomes a life or death situation >begin clawing my butthole apart in a desperate attempt to break the massive turd into segments >at this point my a------ has stretched to the size of a pickle jar lid, the turd has still not met its time to come >my hands are soon covered in blood, shed from my virgin a------ >l begin crying and swearing at the enormous turd stuck in my ass >SUDDENLY >almost as if though a dam has burst >my anus literally turns into a wormhole bringing forth a cacophony of Lovecraftian horrors from beyond the veil of human understanding >with the force of ten million explosions, what could only be described as warm, liquid bloody fecal matter sprays all over my hands, legs, toilet and back >l lie devastated in a pool of liquid s--- with the bathroom door locked >the smell is unbearable >dad literally kicks down the door and drags me out >hospitalized for almost half a month due to my ass left in unrecognizable condition >spend my time shellshocked, feeling like a victim of the most violent r--- ever known to man And that is why I haven't touched an MRE in three years.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/002/128/795/045.png "Anon eats MREs | /r/Greentext")
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Greentext Stories - Anon creates his masterpiece | /r/Greentext
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![File: PEPE.jpg (8 KB, 225x225) O mum learned her place Anonymous 07/04/21(Sun)21:24:24 No.64446042 [Reply] >raised by single mom >she hits me when we don't come to terms >grow up, become bigger than her >one day she hits me, and I hit her back just as hard >she's shocked guess mum won't be hitting me anymore + 18 replies and 5 images omitted. Click here to view. >> O Anonymous 07/04/21(Sun)21:53:56 No.64446313 >>64446368 >>64446286 # we are both helping eachother out. She can't afford the place on her own, my paying rent helps her. Also I do chores that she is incapable of herself, like chopping wood. On my end I don't have to pay as much rent as I otherwise would for, say, a 1bdr apt. I don't think there will be any further violence, anyway. She now knows that I am more than capable of defending myself against domestic terrorism, so it would be useless for her to persist. I'm only going to get bigger, she will only become more feeble, there is no strategy for victory for her.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/list/002/141/989/f0e.jpg "Mind terrorist | /r/Greentext")
![Anonymous 10/22/17(Sun)22:57:38 No.35580872 >>35580130 # Because the airforce is the closest thing we have to a mecha anime irl. Think about it. >brave hero pilots going off to war in 64 KB JPG extravagant multibillion dollar machines >technology out the ass >massive support team dedicated solely to sucking the pilot's d--- >literally like 100 non pilots for every pilot >techno cyberpunk nonsense filled cockpit >crazy f------ "look at that guy and kill him" style war machines >can't take out the crazy f------ war machines too often because the [animation] bill is too large >when combat does come it lasts for 5 minutes and is the most spectacular thing in the world >immediately after it's right back to stupid minor social problems at the airbase The airforce is literally Gundam but somehow more gay.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/list/002/931/266/4d9.jpeg "It's like one of my Japanese animes | /r/Greentext")
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Uploaded Jun 20, 2021 at 10:25AM EDT
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