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![File: judy-hopps-existential-crisis.jpg (42 KB, 500x500) O Anonymous 09/06/21(Mon)11:09:01 No.65277008 [Reply] >>65277023 >hear noise under my bed >check to see if a monster is hiding underneath >it's just the neighbourhood moral relativist again >tell him that it's wrong to hide under people's beds without their permission >he always responds with "not objectively, no" Every night with this man. Every night. Anonymous 09/06/21(Mon)11:10:56 No.65277023 >>65277008 (OP) Prove him wrong, then we will talk.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/193/233/076.png "anon hears a noise under his bed | /r/Greentext")
anon hears a noise under his bed | /r/Greentext
Uploaded by Reddit Moments Sep 06, 2021 at 10:27AM EDT
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![O Anonymous 09/05/21(Sun)18:31:42 No.24867317 [Reply] >cute coworker invites me for lunch >I have no idea how to talk with women so I sit there eating in awkward silence >when she compliments my homemade lunch, I just say thanks while staring at my plate How do I learn talking with women? Can I still fix this at 29? + 10 replies omitted. Click here to view. O Anonymous 09/05/21(Sun)21:30:48 No.24868475 >>24868503 >>24868466 don't be a simp](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/002/193/167/99b.png "Anon is a simp | /r/Greentext")
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Greentext Stories - anon hears a noise under his bed | /r/Greentext
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![File: 1445215288691.jpg (55 KB, 438x438) Anonymous 06/29/21 (Tue)06:52:13 No.827969426 [Reply] D >Be me >Mummy's bestest healthy 450 pound boy in all of Surfside Florida >haven't left condo since mummy brought me home in 1981 >Mummy loves me, brings me all the tendies every day >Am happy, even rinse off musk in pool for more GBP >With mummy's good behavior, piss jugg cellar getting full >WITH TENDIES YOU HAVE SHOWN ME LOVE, I'VE NO NEED FOR ALL THESE JUGGS. YOU HAVE HELPED MY HEALTHY FRAME, TIME FOR THESE PISS JUGGS TO DRAIN >Wait until pool is being drained to empty 50 gallon piss barrels >Gassy bubblies like my booty braps as it reacts with the pool chemicals >Notice bubblies coming from crack in concrete. Looks like a bubbly bath! >Decide to go for double the GBP and rinse off my healthy frame with a couple canon balls into the healthy pool >Cracks in concrete start to widen and bubbling intensifies with each healthy bounce on the diving board >THIS POOL IS NOT READY I KNOW, I WILL NOT SHOUT "GERONIMO!" SINCE THE WATER IS NOT FULL, I WILL DIVE IN SCREAMING "SITTING BULL!!" >Take my very highest step off the edge of the diving board and turn myself into a mighty canonball attack >Pool not full enough with acidic piss to break my fall >Bottom of pool cracks even more under the impact of my healthy booty striking the bottom of the pool >Freshly coated with my own manly musk, go total Alpha Male mode and jump in again >Roof top pool gets a little crooked, but probably still safe for splishy splashies >Take another mighty step off the edge of the slightly crooked diving board on top of 12 story condo >REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEÉEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEÉEEEEEEEEEEEE! >The impressive force of my healthy frame bursts through the bottom of the pool >25 year old fermented acidic piss floods into rebar holding concrete supports of condo together >Pathetic vegetal building crumbles under the weight of my dominant healthy frame. >12 confirmed dead. nearlv 150 missing HIGH SCORE!](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/list/002/139/671/f6f.jpg "Anon has some healthy frame fun | /r/Greentext")
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