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Greentext Stories - Anon travels | /r/Greentext

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File: 1376421194696.jpg-(1.56 MB, 2448x3264, image.jpg) O Anonymous (ID: zri23dQ1) 08/13/13(Tue)15:13:14 No.499550295 Replies: >>499550661 >>499551303 >>499551374 >>499551564 >>499551673 >>499551825 >Be 25 year old American >go to Germany, first time in Europe >plane lands, I applaud. >In german airport, take off shoes, pants, leave 3 oz sample of blood, semen in quart sized ziploc "sir, you don't need to do that. Just walk through the metal detector" s"sorry, nicht spriche deutsch" >"sir, I am speaking english." >Go directly through metal detector, do not get irradiated, do not get groped by TSA.monopoly >Tip the security guard 5 Euro because that is the smallest paper money Spend the first day in Frankfurt. Frankfurt is a great city because there is nothing to do so literally anywhere else you go is great. >Walk to train station >lots of foreigners around, can't hear any english >walk with hand in back pocket to protect wallet >keep other hand in side pocket to protect phone. >Unable to operate ticket machine. Language options are Union Jack, Deutsch Flag, and France. >Get on train without ticket. >Gestapo officers in uniform comes up to me >"Morgen, karte bitte" >"I'm not Morgan. >"Apologies, Good Morning, ticket, please." >"Nicht spriche deutch" >"Sir, I speak english." >Can't understand his crazy nazimouth, tip him $30 Euro to leave me alone. >He tips me back for being a cool American. >Train arrives in Munich. Begin applauding. >Nobody claps, don't want to ruin my solid American applause. >tip every passenger for letting me solo. >Get rental car. >Too many pedals. >Walk to MacDonalds to get order Double Quarter Pounder. >F------ idiot gives me wrong meal, end up with Hamburger Royale Kasse >Only tip him 30% >use burger to weigh down extra pedal >car rolls backwards into river. >applaud the whole way in.

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