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>be 11 year old me >Minecraft 1.0 comes out >want to get it >mom doesn't get me it at first >feelsbad.png >Easter rolls around >mom hands me a paper >its a username and password >mom got me an account for Easter >thanks mom 9.9 kB JPG >play minecraft all the time >make lots of memories and friends playing minecraft >fast forward to now >redownload Minecraft for the hell of it >look around for paper with username and password >find it >username is my name spelled backwards >lol >password.. >"lovemom" >love you mom

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Anonymous 01/28/25(Tue)06:33:18 No.207217193 Mao offered 10m women for trade with US Mao Zedong proposed sending 10 million women to the United States during talks with top US envoy Henry Kissinger in 1973, according to newly released documents. He first suggested sending 'thousands' of women, but as an afterthought proposed '10 million', drawing laughter at the meeting, also attended by premier Zhou Enlai. Dr Kissinger, who was president Richard Nixon's national security adviser at the time, told Mao that the US had no 'quotas' or 'tariffs' for Chinese women, drawing more laughter. 'Let them go to your place. They will create disasters. That way you can lessen our burdens,' he said. 'Do you want our Chinese women? We can give you 10 million. Dr Kissinger then tried to highlight to Mao the threat posed by the Soviet Union and other global concerns of the era. But Mao dragged the talks back to the topic of Chinese women. >Chinese cent... ACK! 1x1vltkdvkfe1.jpg 124 KB JPG Anonymous BWC ONLY CH! 01/28/25(Tue)06:35:09 No.207217247 >>207217193 (OP) # GODDAMN F------ NIXON AND KISSINGER I SWEAR 742 KB GIF >>207217793 # >>207219375 #

Anonymous 08/03/21(Tue)12:57:47 No.80646293 1618542645521.jpg 39 KB JPG >>80645680 # >every morning I break out of my house >every night I break in >I do not sleep >I only repair the damage and perfect my defenses >I hunger for the day that I am either entombed forever or effectively exiled from my own house

jay bauman.jpg 26 KB JPG >sees a pair of t--- in a movie >instantly starts projecting his own fantasies about how uncomfortable the woman must be, how creepy and gross it is, how it's demeaning and exploitative >sees a person get cut in half >absolutely amazing, 10/10, greatest thing ever Anonymous >>207888330 (OP) # 01/15/25(Wed)00:37:53 No.207888362 The difference is that violence in movies isn't real. No one is actually being cut in half in a movie. Whereas nudity is real, you're looking at an actual human being fully exposed.

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Anon is fake and gay | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/18/18(Sun)23:03:49 No./ >>760311467 File: received 1974516546119619.jpg (24 KB, 541x642) >be me >8 years old >playing around in my dads car >looking at the guages >think the car is empty because the fuel guage says low >remember that he has a important meeting in town the next day >idea.webm >hatch a plan to fill up dads car for him with the garden hose >decide to surprise him in the morning >he starts the car >"what the hell i thought i only had half a tank" >"surprise dad" >car dies >"what did you do?" >explain >dads p----- >going on about how hes going to miss his big meeting >calls taxi >taxi takes forever but arrives >taxi drops me off at my grandparents house 3 blocks away >grandma comes running out screaming like a banshee >she rushes me and dad into the house >look on the tv >911 >fw dumb s--- as a kid saved my dad

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Anon watches sitcoms | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/07/21(Sun)09:56:30 No.66061441 >be me >with grandma >she's watching big bang theory >such s--- >woman on tv says to guy "find out what cologne her father wears if you want to have coitus with her" 1.45 MB PNG >hmm >been hanging out with this one girl who's really close with her father >met her dad before so I ask him what cologne he uses >tells me and I get the same one and use it >takes 5 days before me and girl have sex >it was her first time >mega virgin sitcom got me laid All in a days work

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Anon is happy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/08/19(Fri)17:38:28 No.792141603 >seeing some girl recently >go to her house to f--- her again >while we are cuddling ask her what's on her mind >tells me that she likes me >tell her I like her too 410 KB PNG >tells me how she likes to kiss me,hold me, how she likes me eyes, my laugh, the way I talk >we don't fall asleep until 5am >leave her house around 7am >keeps saying she doesn't want me to go >driving back to my place the feelings hit me >ffw you've been emotionally deprived for the first 19 years of your life >tfw you thought you would end up alone and a loser but you managed to turn out just fine >tfw you realize you aren't alone in this world >tfw you matter to someone It's a feeling that is warmer than heroin /b/

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Anon Watches the Show | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 11/07/21(Sun)16:00:28 No.866266507 >finally watch Squid Game with my gf >actually lives up to the hype >enjoying the plot, the dude with the snake face tattoo is doing some vile s--- >gf breaks the silence "Man why the f--- does he have to be so hot." >look at her >she's not kidding "Why and how the f--- do you always go for the ugliest m----------- in everything." "I have a type." >it takes me a moment >mfw

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Anon commits nefarious acts | /r/Greentext

I commit nerarious acts 11/07/21(Sun)13:29:37 No.66059693 >coworkers tell me boss reviews the footage every night I work >best coworker tells me boss looking for reasons to fire me >next night I come in with around 3-4 lassos of thin fishing line >act as if Im just walking around 362 KB PNG but secretly leaving lines on doors and drawers >pull doors and drawers closed magically >2 days later coworkers tell me my boss has been non stop replaying footage where I close a door magically >get a little more daring >tie fishing line around head put on hat >tie end to c-------- >low gravity spin c-------- into my mouth >mfw next night coworkers tell me boss is schizophrenic and retired >me and co worker look at the footage of my nefarious acts >mfw they could all see the fishing line >mfw I wasnt subtle at all >mfw my boss is just a schizoid and everyone thinks Im autistic

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Anon is edgy and dislikes banks | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/23/19(Tue)18:38:58 No.805356843 What is the best way to hide cash ? please be serious. Don't say up my ass. Give me genius tier ideas. I don't like keeping everything in bank. 128 KB JPG And don't say obvious things like under the bed, in a shoe box. : Anonymous 07/23/19(Tue)18:40:06 No.805356891 >>805356843 (OP) # Up your ass : Anonymous 07/23/19(Tue)18:40:13 No.805356894 >>805356843 (OP) # Up my ass : Anonymous 07/23/19(Tue)18:40:22 No.805356902 >>805356843 (OP) # Hide it under your bed then shove the entire bed up your ass

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Anon likes black lil cats | /r/Greentext

: I am literally f------ retarde(...) 03/29/21(Mon)21:16:38 No.6296717' >be me >have a black cat >talk s--- to the black cat on a regular basis for amusement >like to use racial slurs >for example >"what are you looking at you chinky eyed m-----------?" 18 KB JPG >"quit your moaning n----- I'm coming with food right now" >absolutely f------ adore this cat >earlier today, hit the pet store for kitty kibble >always get the best quality stuff although I eat trash >there's a qt there >around my age, holding a small black kitten >she looks a little overwhelemed >take a deep breath, approach the qt >my guts are quivering as I haven't spoken to a female in months >say "hey! You look like you need some help, if you want good cat food go for high protein and omega 3s, keeps their coat soft and shiny." >she smiles behind her mask >can tell it's genuine and full of warmth >"thank you so much! I've never had a kitten and I want to be sure I take good care of him. Would you like to pet him?" >absolutely yes >scratch his chin >purrs like a boat engine >she laughs and says "awww he likes you!" >chuckle and respond >"yeah, you got yourself a cute little n----- don't you?" >she stiffens >stammers >"uhm, what??" >immediately realize w-- i just said >"uhhhhhh UUHHHMM YEAH HE'S CUTE RIGHT НАНА" >visibly shaking, mound of spaghetti at feet >she looks around awkwardly >"yeah uhm, thanks for the help I should probably get him home." >before I can respond she turns and walks away >could practically vomit in the aisle >get the food, trudge to checkout >see her in another aisle >is standing with a niggerchad >are you f------ kidding me? >remain depressed and disgusted with self >get home >see cat >call him a n----- on principle

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Anon has his yellow privilege | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/14/21(Sun)14:42:15 No.80643647 > first day at office in 12 months > walk in to meet new manager BLACK LIVES MATTER for first time > see pic related on her wall > asks me if like her poster > smile and node 30 KB JPG > "Amazing anon! We will get on great! Great that we can check-out our white privilege and leave it at the door" > tell her I am 75% Chinese and don't have white privilege > She tells me we all have some degree of white privilege >I smile and leave > Report her and what just happened to HR > HR is Chinese descent > White privilege lady get fire > See her packing things into box > tell her not to forget her white privilege > watch her burst into tears > feel slightly guilty > push 35 commits, feel better > go home and eat sushi

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Anon attends a boys-only school | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)08:13:41 No.64654697 >>64654248 (OP) # >be me >be 14 15 KB JPG >attend boys only school (thanks mum and dad) >go to school dance held with local 'sister' school >didn't get a dance all night >feelsbadman.jpg >towards the end of the night a qt comes up and asks "Hey, want to dance?" >couldn't believe my luck >Say yes >She says "Just kidding!" >Walks away with her friend laughing >Self esteem was already critically low - now depleted Why are girls like this? I'm glad women have to suffer periods and childbirth. They f------ deserve it.

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Anon is rarted | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/19/19(Thu)13:23:14 No.816571547 please be patient I have autism >be me >amateur MMA fighter >mostly just a hobby, do it to stay in shape etc. >also help train kids at the gym I fight for >teaching 12-13 year old kid how to 77 KB JPG stand and hit pads, simple s--- >kid has high-functioning autism >out of nowhere he looks at me and says "How high does the grass grow in Germany" >Think it's just a weird autist question >"I don't know, probably the same as here" >"About this high" he then proceeds to give a full Nazi salute for 10 seconds >fuckingwotm8 I know you're on this website you little incel, I got yelled at by the gyms owner because he thought I made you do that. F--- you. 2 Replies View Thread

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Anon encounters a neckbeard with a greater power level | /r/Greentext

File: 1467782272309.png (325 KB, 382x417) Anonymous 11/06/21(Sat)16:23:53 No.866222360 >>866222699 >>866222779 >>866222852 >>866222935 >be me >at the self-checkout in the store >scanning my items as normal without any interruption >finish checking out and walk away >as l'm walking away, the employee assigned there walks towards me to remove my basket >he looks in his 20s and probably had a neckbeard under his mask >looks me in the eyes as l'm walking past >"watch your six out there" >stunned silence and bewilderment >he continues past me as I keep walking What the f--- did he mean by this? Anonymous 11/06/21(Sat)16:32:23 No.866222699 >>866222360 (OP) Do you live under a rock? Clown world's dangerous. Watch your f-----' six, bro.

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Anon gets dating advice | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 11/06/21(Sat)23:48:24 No.866226473 [Reply] | >Be me >Have this girl I really like >When I didn't see her for 2 weeks due to covid she said "I'm missed you *so* much" >I think she likes me too >It might just be her personality though >W-- do I do? O Anonymous 11/06/21(Sat)23:50:31 No.866226567 226626 f--- her right in the p----

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Greentext Stories - Anon makes memories in minecraft and loves mom | /r/Greentext

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>be 11 year old me >Minecraft 1.0 comes out >want to get it >mom doesn't get me it at first >feelsbad.png >Easter rolls around >mom hands me a paper >its a username and password >mom got me an account for Easter >thanks mom 9.9 kB JPG >play minecraft all the time >make lots of memories and friends playing minecraft >fast forward to now >redownload Minecraft for the hell of it >look around for paper with username and password >find it >username is my name spelled backwards >lol >password.. >"lovemom" >love you mom

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