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>be me >in college >talking to qt3.14 >run out of topics >panicensues.gif >decide to lie to keep FEEL TEAM SIX 46 KB JPG conversation going >tell her I have a goldfish pond in my backyard >wutdafuqm8.jpg >"That's so cool, you think I could come see it sometime?" >howdidthatwork.png >exchange numbers, realize what I've done >go home and promptly dig a goldfish pond and fill it with water >get necessary items from pet store (filter, plants, goldfish, etc.) >pond is f------ amazing >go to contact girl >girl never responds to my calls/texts >3 years later I'm still taking care of 14 goldfish in my back yard >one has had babies and two more are pregnant >mfw the goldfish are having more sex than me

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon loves his cousin | /r/Greentext

1CaPOfm 2 minutes ago No.560860141 >be me >be 15 >go to cousins for sleep over >have 3 cousins >2 guys 1 girl >stay up late >play vidya watch movies >girl cousin says uncle has lots of extra beer >he wont notice a few missing >coool Swe get buzzed >younger guy cousin doesnt like beer goes to bed >other guy cousin gets phone call from qt3.14 and splits for a while >just me and girl cousin >drink 3-4 more while watching movie >cousin starts saying shes drunk >10 minutes later look over and shes crashed out >find a blanket and cover her up >go to bed without molesting cousin because we have a stable family relationship and im not attracted to her

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Well if you’re posting on 4chan then it’s a pretty reasonable assumption | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/22/18(Sat)21:16:31 No.48287782 >7 year old cousin is over >She wants to play the PS4 in my room >Mom tells me to "keep the door open" What the f--- did she mean by 765 KB PNG this? 37 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon goes to brit pub | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: ZE+omJEM 12/04/21(Sat)06:18:41 No.13972360 >Go to Britain >Visit a pub >Order some French fries with my beer >Weird and toothy looking bartender (pubtender?) goes 86 KB JPG ballistic >OI THEY IS CALLED CHIPS THEY IS! MADE FROM THE FINEST POTATOES IN ALL THE QUEEN'S LAND THEY IS SHOW THEM THE PROPER RESPECT >Sorry bro I meant chips >bartender turns to a portrait of the queen hanging above the bar >OI YOUR MAJESTY HE'S SORRY HE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT HE WAS SAYING The fries weren't very good and I have a feeling they were not actually made from the finest potatoes in the commonwealth 5 Replies View Thread

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OP ain't gonna let em get them | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 17 minutes ago 790233664 : C'mon anons, let us share the stories of losing virginities. I'll start. >l didn't 3 REPLIES

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Sims 4 thiss | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/25/18(Sat)03:39:49 No.47726805 >play Sims 4 >Model character after self >Put all stats into charisma and romantic >go to local bar >flirt with girl for a couple in game days 23 KB JPG >See woohoo option >She says yes See ya later virgins

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Australians are trolls | /r/Greentext

12/06/17(Wed)22:41:21 No.152315696 fire.jpg 364 KB JPG >>152305387 (OP) # >1920 >be californian >get duped into buying Australian eucalyptus trees >plant thousands of acres >Australians forget to mention it takes at least 100 years for the trees to mature >thousands of investors go broke >2017 >100 years later eucalyptus trees have spread everywhere and have finally matured >Australians also forgot to mention the trees produce a highly flammable toxic oil that builds up in the tree >california burns down

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Alienanon is a fucking idiot | /r/Greentext

1487814942468.jpg (11 KB, 247x327) google yandex igdb wait Anonymous (ID: 69LMHPIK) 02/22/17(Wed)19:53:55 No.113899337 >>113900328 >>113900346 >>113900361 >>113900362 >>113900564 >>113900 >>113902357 >>113902550 >>113903181 >>113903295 Be prepared. This is not a warning, this is a threat. We are coming. We will not be persuaded by your leaders or your people. You have been warned. 02/22/17(Wed)19:54:36 No.113899432 02/22/17(Wed)20:15:05 No.113902240 Anonymous (ID: EBF2YQ/3 Anonymous (ID: 4qAUTGgi) 22113899432 aliens confirmed retarded >>113899337 (OP) >this is not a warning >you have been warned

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An interesting title #1 | /r/Greentext

File: africa.ipg (9 KB, 480x453) O map dude 02/15/18(Thu)15:56:46 No.43232628 I'm back again boys draw on the map where niger is O Anonymous 02/15/18(Thu)15:57:33 No.43232637 Paint bucket tool.

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Red rocket | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/04/21(Sat)17:37:54 No.867982550 >gf floated the idea of having sex while she's on her period >try to brush it off quickly >she keeps bringing it back up What do /b/? 15 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/04/21(Sat)17:39:32 No.867982654 Just do it you p----.

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Anon will never recover | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/24/21(Wed)13:28 >Be me >teach grandma what cringe means >fast forward months later >I show her the meme I made >She calls it cringe

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Anon listens to music | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/21/20(Wed)19:15:11 No.60568893 >listening to rap >it's all bitches and money >switch to metal >it's all christian themes 12 KB JPG

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Anon is a security guard | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/19/18(Mon)17:07:31 No.785261856 >Be me >Security guard at airport >Fml every day same s--- >Consider suicide at least twice a shift >One day see hottie with a great ass and green 1.41 MB PNG leggings >She's walking a bit funny Suspicion.zip >Run metal detector on her while trying to cop a cheeky feel >Oh s--- detector went off >Oh s--- she looks nervous best investigate >Oh s--- oh s--- oh s--- >mfw I just busted an international diamond smuggler

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Greentext Stories - Anon digs a fish pond | /r/Greentext

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>be me >in college >talking to qt3.14 >run out of topics >panicensues.gif >decide to lie to keep FEEL TEAM SIX 46 KB JPG conversation going >tell her I have a goldfish pond in my backyard >wutdafuqm8.jpg >"That's so cool, you think I could come see it sometime?" >howdidthatwork.png >exchange numbers, realize what I've done >go home and promptly dig a goldfish pond and fill it with water >get necessary items from pet store (filter, plants, goldfish, etc.) >pond is f------ amazing >go to contact girl >girl never responds to my calls/texts >3 years later I'm still taking care of 14 goldfish in my back yard >one has had babies and two more are pregnant >mfw the goldfish are having more sex than me

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Uploaded Dec 05, 2021 at 03:26PM EST

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