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: Anonymous 06/24/18(Sun)11:35:05 No.772459253 >be me, cringy 14 yo in 2008 with only 1 friend >friend comes to my house for the first time >excitment.jpg >super nervous about f------ it 620 KB PNG up >ask if she likes singing >wtfiswrongwithme.jpg >quickly change subject and ask if she wants to play some Halo with me >she agrees >we play for play 15 min before she asks why I asked if she likes singing >ohfuckohfuck >tell her I like to sing a lot >she tells me to sing something >l don't really know any songs >just watched shrek so I start singing I'm a believer >she really thinks it's funny >ididsomethingcool.jpg >start singing it over and over >she tells me to stop singing I'm a believer >tfw I laughed and thought she was kidding >and then I saw her face

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Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon has a deadly deck | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/06/18(Wed)18:17:01 No.770809163 >be me >live in rural neighbourhood in Canada >Dad installs deck with nice clear glass windows >so clear that birds don't see it and crash into it, wake up each morning 75 KB JPG to see dead birds all over deck >wake up one morning to find 5 dead birds on my deck, one dead one being eaten by neighbors cat MFW my house's deck has a 50+ killstreak

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Anon almost get smoked | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/02/18(Mon)06:35:05 No.773181048 Whats the closest you have ever come to death /b ? >be me >in iraq >start smoking a pipe because f--- it im probably going to die 4 KB JPG anyways. >one day on patrol in some s----- village >over 100 degrees, towlheads everywhere screaming at eachother and trying to sell s--- >you know just a normal day >decide to sit down for a drink and a smoke because im in full gear and it is like a trillion degrees >sit down and light up pic related >sitting down for maybe a minute, take a few puffs >bowl explodes as its in my mouth >a f------ sniper shot my pipe >the bullet travelled 3 inches from my face >everyone scatters for cover as usual >to this day I dont know if the sniper missed or if he was trying to just f--- with me.

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Anon is responsible for getting his McDonald’s robbed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/25/18(Sun)21:21:30 No.763800520 The story of how I accidentally caused my work to be robbed >be 22 in 2014 and working at McShithole part-time while going to school >hate my job but about to graduate with a degree to do 19 KB JPG something with my life >hate my job for many reasons, with one being I worked with f------ idiots >worked with one idiot named Nick who was too stupid even for McShithole >dude can't even microwave breakfast burritos correctly >find out Nick has been seeing this Russian girl and is totally obsessed with her >Nick found out he will soon be a father >ask him if he has a goat >what.gif >lie and tell Nick that it's a Russian family tradition that he has to have a goat >making s--- up as I go to test how stupid one person can be >"Nick, are you seriously going to f------ look her dad in the eyes, and tell him you do not own a single goat?" >Nick gets nervous >show him how expensive goats can be with food and all the necessary things he has to prepare for >tell Nick that he can get welfare for the baby but not the goat >"Nick, you're going to have to come up with some money soon. You might have to start working some doubles" >a few nights later, working the overnight shift >someone knocks on the door to the back entrance >another idiot coworker opens the door without checking assuming it's someone who walked out for a smoke break >a masked man with a gun bursts in >quickly realize by the man's size and voice that it's Nick >"Nick, if you walk away right now, we won't say anything. Don't do this." >Nick replies, "shut the f--- up! It ain't me!" >call the police as soon as he leaves >mfw when my bullshitting caused a guy to go to jail : Anonymous 03/25/18(Sun)21:23:38 No.763800732 >>763800520 (OP) # 10/10 if real KE 1400 E 37 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/25/18(Sun)21:30:21 No.763801373 6600 Proof from local news site

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HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANK | /r/Greentext

НАААААААNK.png 936 КВ PNG НААААААААААААААAANK НАААААААААААAАААAAAAAAAAAAAANK GET THE SWEET AND SOUR SAUCE НААААААААААAANK THE SWEET AND SOUR NOT BARBEQUE НААААААААААААААAААААААААAAAAAАAAAA

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Anon demands explanations | /r/Greentext

03/09/22(Wed)20:33:22 No.67720479 : Anonymous 화끈 한매운맛! 화끈 한매운맛! ACO uldak maxresdefault (12).jpg| 212 KB JPG >A f--- ton of gorillion Ukrainians are dying right now >Somehow this thing is still alive Dear christians, if there is god then explain this.

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Anon makes a friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/08/19(Tue)12:30:34 No.789444903 >be me 3 years ago >16 years old >Not many friends. >Feel alone as hell, see everyone partying and s--- and I'm sitting around at home. >Classmate at school talking about going out for a drive with friends. 38 KB JPG >Looks at me >"Hey anon! Your a funny dude, how about you join us" >Heart skips a beat, this is all I have ever wanted. >We go out eat some chipolte, go too Walmart and f--- around there. Buy like 15 king sized kit Kats for s---- n giggles. >Finally they dropped me off at home >I hate home, mom is terrible. >Obvious frown >Friendo looks at me "hey... we'll see you around anon. You fit right in. >Smiled and nodded >Walked inside room and cried happiness cry.

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kid's going places | /r/Greentext

File: iceberg.jpg (35 KB, 804x526) O Anonymous 05/31/18(Thu)09:53:16 No.770192823 >be me, a dad >showing my 7 year old son compilation of bizarre danny devito scenes from always sunny >get to the one with frank in a hospital gown >frank spins around and you see his gross ass and he says, "really lets your ass breathe" >son says, "your butt can breathe?" >i say, "Oh ya. It is difficult but you can breathe out of your butt." >my wife glares at me but laughs >son laughs but asks if I'm being serious, i say yes while cracking up >fast forward to later and I'm brushing my teeth in the bathroom >look over at bath tub and see son's ass in the air, but his head is under water >kid is drowning himself while trying to breathe out of his a------

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Anon can't take it anymore | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/09/22(Wed)17:03:37 No.874116109 >l have to spend $200/mo on gas to get to work >$1600 on rent >$220-$230 on bills >$150 on groceries >$82 for my phone bill >$75 for internet >that's $2327 >l make 2500-2600/mo working my ass off 50- 108 KB JPG 60hrs a week >l can't find a great paying job because they have thousands of applicants >l can't find a cheaper apartment >even if I could I can't save enough because by the time I do rent will have gone up >l can't afford to move to another state, city, country >I can't afford if something happens to my car >l can't even afford the parts to fix it myself >l can't afford health care >l don't qualify for it through the state because l makfe too much >i can't even afford to buy a gun to kill myself with I'm seriously consider living out of my car just so I can move to Germany or something this country is f-----.

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Anon is sad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/09/22(Wed)20:34:41 No.164900302 My GF cheated on me with one of my best friends My dog died yesterday Recommend me some comfy kino. Thanks 162 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/09/22(Wed)20:37:43 No.164900421 you didn't have to kill your dog just because your gf f----- it >>164900465 # >>164900516 # >>164900558 #

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Anon leaves his house. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)17:44:43 No.64723340 >finally get a wagecuck job after years of being a neet >furniture warehouse position where I basically just move mattresses around >work is only like 2-3 hours out of the 8 hour day >most of the time is just all the warehouse guys hanging out 42 KB JPG >get health insurance and am getting dental work done for basically free >have a reason to get up in the morning >get some exercise >customers thank me and I feel like l'm doing something >am actually socializing and got invited to my first adult party at 25 years old today >am actually making some money You guys f------ lied. Being a neet is way worse than this.

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Anon is in a strange situation | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/18/21(Sat)09:53:11 No.868814404 >dates a girl for 3 months >she's really cool, we have similar interests and sense of humor >finally going to have sex with her >unzip my pants >"What is that thing? What do you 21 KB JPG expect me to do with that?" >w-what? >"It's like a third arm. I don't have room for that." >she leaves my apartment >we text later, says she had an ex that tore her vag with her d--- >apparently, he was "big" but still not as "big" as me (I'm a little over 7 and a half inches, about 6 inches thick) >now she's afraid of large d---- >she apologizes and says we aren't compatible >we agree to break up >feelsbadman >over the next two days, get texts from three of her friends and her cousin (all female) to hookup >feelsbetterman

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Anon is a normal person | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/16/21(Tue)22:22:33 No.62367736 >Getting increasingly angry at my fat sister for being fat. >Resent having to sit next to her at things like theaters. >Was subtle for years but now 9 KB JPG telling her she needs to improve her ability to bend down to get things so she can stop crying at me to do it every day or telling her she needs to make sure she can fit in a plane seat when we go on family trips. >Repulsed by her three chins, can't remember the last time I hugged her outside of a funeral. >Hate the fat slur in her voice and her breathing struggles while watching Tv. I should feel like a a------ but I don't.

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Greentext Stories - Anon plays halo | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

: Anonymous 06/24/18(Sun)11:35:05 No.772459253 >be me, cringy 14 yo in 2008 with only 1 friend >friend comes to my house for the first time >excitment.jpg >super nervous about f------ it 620 KB PNG up >ask if she likes singing >wtfiswrongwithme.jpg >quickly change subject and ask if she wants to play some Halo with me >she agrees >we play for play 15 min before she asks why I asked if she likes singing >ohfuckohfuck >tell her I like to sing a lot >she tells me to sing something >l don't really know any songs >just watched shrek so I start singing I'm a believer >she really thinks it's funny >ididsomethingcool.jpg >start singing it over and over >she tells me to stop singing I'm a believer >tfw I laughed and thought she was kidding >and then I saw her face

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