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Greentext Stories - Anon tries to be Batman | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous 03/29/22(Tue)23:39:57 No.875327215 >Be me >Have a fair amount of disposable income and time from my investment banking job >One day I watch the Dark Knight >Love the film, start to internalise the Batman/Bruce Wayne character 11 KB JPG >Later I see how crime in my city has gone up over the past few years >Decide something has to be done >Buy a realistic Nolan Batman suit at the cost of £600 >Buy a Kevlar vest as well >Spray paint my Audi Q8 matte black and start to call it the Batmobile >Get my fillipino housekeeper to only answer to Alfred and to call me Bruce >l've been trying to "Pavlov" her to speak like Michael Caine, which has so far been unsuccessful >Hit 15 min ab workout or a yoga class every few days >Time for me to fight crime >Start roaming the city streets at 1AM trying to find some criminals >These drunk louts approach me >"Oi Oi, it's Fatman and Blobbin" (I should mention that I'm kind of out of shape at the moment) >When I tried to ask them if they had any criminal activity to report they threw their beer at me >Had to walk away, went home sad after that I'm the hero London needs, but I'm not the hero London deserves

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