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: Anonymous 11/15/20(Sun)21:41:27 No.840147015 Back in 2003 I used to think scorpions weren't real. Fast forward to about a week ago >be me walking outside for the first time in a year 40 KB JPG >see some kinda f------ alien c--- sucker thing on the ground >pick it up > it hits me with its tail thing >F-----.png >I throw that f----- like I was in the MLB I know now that scorpions are real & I don't like them View Thread

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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the absolute state of the west.. | /r/Greentext

>in high school >some chick tells me gays deserve equal rights >my first ever time learning about gays and Igb rights >that's weird but whatever idc 295 KB PNG >in college, start to learn about other genders >"trannies are natural and chopping off genitalia is cool" >w-- that's really really weird but whatever idc >get a job >have to state my gender and take lgbtq+ trainings >every show I watch has gays and trannies >characters I used to love are big gay and t----- >starting to get absurd seeing all the pandering to gays >one days, 8 year old daughter comes home and says her teacher said anyone can become any gender when they grow up >not happy with this b-------. I didn't sign up for this propagation of gender dysphoria promotion >can't do anything about it >see post on internet about trans children >comment dissent >"f--- you bigor anon you suck why are you a bigot when this doesn't even affect you, you seem obsessed like you're a closet gay"

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Anon's bf takes her to Fartmart | /r/Greentext

File: smile2.png (1.22 MB, 871x867) Anonymous 06/04/22(Sat) 18:57:20 No.68914826 >>68914839 >>689 >bf driving me home >tell him we never go on dates anymore >he says "alright whatever let's go to walmart" >walmart dates aren't my favorite but i'll take it >we walk in >he stands there at the entrance and lets out a massive fart >stands there for 10 seconds while the sound is blasting from his butt >i feel super embarrassed but everyone pretends not to notice >"alright i'm done, lets go home" >we literally leave and drive home W-- JUST HAPPENED? □ Anonymous 06/04/22(Sat) 18:58:53 No.68914839 >>68914884 File: 1635901627779.jpg (17 KB, 447x330) >>68914826 (OP) >walmart dates ULES

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Femanon takes advice from 4chan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/21/21 (Wed)12:42:03 No.64657226 >have a crush on a handsome successful chad >use incel advice to make myself attractive (dont swear or drink, dont wear too much makeup, act cute and pure, be trad and modest, make my hobbies baking and knitting and s--- like that, make it known im a virgin to him, stay at home and want to be a wife and mommy) 9 KB JPG >he ends up choosing a slutty, binge drinking, bimbo cakeface girl who runs her own business and is extremely unfeminine and loud and hates kids Stupid s----- incel advice only works for attracting betas.

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do it for the keks and lulz | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/03/22(Fri)16:22:32 No.68895675 >be me >15 years old at the time >having my first time with a 19 year old girl (I made her believe that I was 17) 36 KB JPG >learns a month later that she has a boyfriend >4 years later I go on her insta and I learn that she is now married to her boyfriend >mfw I'm a time bomb and I can create a divorce at any time should I? View Thread 06/03/22(Fri)16:27:50 No.68895728 1 Reply : Anonymous it would be funny

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Anon works at GameStop | /r/Greentext

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Thanks Elon, very cool. | /r/Greentext

>be me >traveling to Earth to annihilate the human race >see earth >fire up the death ray >too late >get hit by a f------ tesla roadster 19 KB JPG traveling at f------ mach speed playing david bowie >completely destroys my ship and kills my entire crew >mfw

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Anon dislikes Jordan Peterson | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/05/22(Sun)15:23:37 No.879538671 >'So what's your opinion on toilet paper Mr Peterson Sir?' >Stares >Any and all warmth drain from face >Clench jaw muscles >Work up a good s-- 21 KB JPG >"Toilet paper. You're asking me about toilet paper?" >Deafening silence as Peterson crosses his hands and internally debates on the coolest looking pose he could strike while having a existential crisis again >Works up a good s--, like a nice strong whine and good ole fat tears >Interviewer nervously chuckles, Peterson's stare hardens >"Toilet paper is necessary", he whispers >"I'm sorry what was that?" >He looks down and then back up, and then back down again and back up, jaw muscles clenching and endulating with the experience of years of affecting a deep emotional turmoil >uncrosses his hand, crosses legs, briefly brings up hand to his face before crossing his hands again and leaning forward >"Toilet paper is the quintessential backbone of modern society," he cries out, his voice now higher than the female interviewer's >Rant about human history and the availability of toilet paper being so sure a sign of unfathomable luck that any who does not see it might as well rip out their eyes and down them with a bottle of vinegar >interviewer doodles on notepad while Peterson starts to work up a good steam, eventually crying and going red >intern posts the interview on YouTube with click bait title, hundreds of teens download it and make My little dark age edits over it What a time to be alive

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Anon is the chadman | /r/Greentext

06/05/22(Sun)10:13:01 No.879535187 : Anonymous I am the Chadman > be me > 20, tall and working out but shy af, wearing glasses, only shirts and having weird haircut 74 KB JPG > every friday I take black tight T-shirt so muscles are visible, change my haircut to a really hot stuff, blue lenses > go to club solo and get girls, new friends, then hook up with these girls, sometimes fight with someone > going only solo, without any real life friends > everyone thinks that I play only league every friday evening > mfw only I know the truth > mfw I am a real life superhero It isnt a larp anons

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anon browses r/antiwork | /r/Greentext

welchs 274169 Nood PR Carl Theor Carib arib COOK Carib C ALLERGIES >apply to jobs that are not transparent with their hourly pay and only imply that it's good >use fake name >lie out of my ass in the application in order to ensure they call me >get told their pay during the interview >they always aren't good >ghost them >post their hourly wage on Google reviews, and put a 1 star if it's particularly s--- f--- you, be transparent you stingy cucks pic related

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He shouLd start tHrOwInG tHeM bAcK | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 143 KB PNG what do i do 02/11/19(Mon) 20:26:32 No.792417785 >in my room >dad yelling at me because abusive >calls me a retard >autism kicks in > "takes one to know one" he's throwing bottles at me now

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Anon says “:)” | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 250 KB JPG >hyperventilate depressed f--- and actually considered it I was f------ retarded my god 1 Reply 05/31/22(Tue)02:12:42 No.879211754 >be me 5 or 6 years ago >total newfag >hear about 4chan in class or some s--- and check it out >type :) as a joke in /v/ >Get death threats and called a n----- in under 20 seconds for like 30 minutes because I was a View Thread

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Anon’s sister takes a trip | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 84NlfqPh ) = >be me 111 >sister goes to trip India >why.jpg >returns to say it was pathetic >"no s---" >"s--- was all over the place dude" 127 KB JPG kek, I wonder why would anyone think of going there Anonymous (ID: 001SjiQW ) 04/18/21(Sun)10:30:05 No.316589888 Larp all you want anon, let's see who's seething when we become a superpower in 2020 04/18/21(Sun)10:27:53 No.317388654

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Greentext Stories - Anon thinks scorpions aren't real | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous 11/15/20(Sun)21:41:27 No.840147015 Back in 2003 I used to think scorpions weren't real. Fast forward to about a week ago >be me walking outside for the first time in a year 40 KB JPG >see some kinda f------ alien c--- sucker thing on the ground >pick it up > it hits me with its tail thing >F-----.png >I throw that f----- like I was in the MLB I know now that scorpions are real & I don't like them View Thread

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