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Anonymous 06/19/22(Sun)12:50:45 No.69103270 >Buy $200 worth of weed >Take one hit >Get paranoid about going to prison >Flush it all down the toilet >Remember it's legal in my state 18 KB JPG How's your day going, Robots?

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Anonymous 1/31/2025, 10:39:47 AM No.49078630 r/greentext in 2036 Discussion 7 KB JPEG >be me > logging into Reddit Metaverse Premium Plus (now with haptic feedback for downvotes) >spend 3 hours verifying my age through blockchain-based ID system > finally get to r/greentext >sort by new >"Anon works at the Mars Colony" >be me, wagecuck on Mars Colony 47-B >working 169 hour weeks maintaining Musk's catgirl breeding facility >getting paid in ElonCoin (currently worth 0.0000001 USD) >mfw when I can't even afford soylent anymore >tfw no qt 3.14 genetically engineered catgirl gf >at least I'm not working in the reddit karma mines >get notification that I forgot to thank the Amazon-Tesla Al for allowing me to breathe their premium oxygen subscription > oxygen supply cut off >die >get reanimated as a cybernetic wagie because I signed the wrong clause in my 47,000 page employment contract > now I have to work double shifts >tfw when you realize you'll never escape wage slavery even in death >mfw when I realize I'm still paying off my student loans from 2024 >pic related, it's my government assigned cybernetic suffering enhancement module Replies: >Fake: Anon implies he got a job >Gay: Anon works for another man's catgirl facility >TendieBot_9000: [ATTENTION CITIZEN] Please validate your greentext reading license before attempting humor >"what the f--- is a soylent?" > "it's what they called food before the great nutrient paste standardization act of 2034" >be me reading this on my neuralink >get error 404: brain not found >mfw As I watch the last remnants of 4chan culture get absorbed into the corporate metaverse, I realize the true greentext was the autism we developed along the way.

Anonymous [*] HINDI (हिन्दी) FILIPINO (Wikang Filipino) 01/31/25(Fri)04:43:54 No.207305506 >millions of filipinos flood canada in the 2010s >nobody cares >millions of jeets flood canada in the 2020s >everyone gets p----- off, even liberal white women turn racist 124 KB JPG explain this phenomenom Anonymous 01/31/25(Fri)04:49:08 No.207305640 filipinos actually integrate in every instance i've encountered them in the west rapists of india do not >>207305727 # >>207311237 # Anonymous >>207305640 # Asians have humility 01/31/25(Fri)04:51:24 No.207305727 Indians never know the meaning of the word "no". They always go after what they want regardless. Unironically helps them get jobs but with women it makes them r---- >>207306406 # >>207307051 # >>207311147 #

File: strongest Fire emblem player.png (3.7 MB, 2518x1462) Elise T-t-twenty push-ups? Like, in a row?! Is that even possible? ☐ Anonymous 01/31/25(Fri)12:42:23 No.701696925 >>701697169 >>701697806 >>701698005 >>>701698313 >>701698352 >>701699713 >>701700913 >>701701718 >>701704079 >>701704956 >>701705173 >>701711114 >RPG gives you frail sissy weak healer at the start >secretly shes one of the strongest characters in the entire game love this trope ☐ Anonymous 01/31/25(Fri)12:59:27 No.701698064 >>701698589 >>701698816 File: 'stang and 'lly.jpg (354 KB, 1920x1080) PYGMALION >game gives you p------------ gun that can barely kill a single zombie >secretly its the most based weapon in the entire game ☐ Anonymous 01/31/25(Fri)13:08:54 No.701698703 >rpg gives you a muscular badass barbarian lady >she secretly has the lowest strength in the game >>701699070 ☐ Anonymous 01/31/25(Fri)13:23:22 No. 701699713 ►>>701699882 File: Berookie.jpg (1.97 MB, 4000x2400) Beruka I brought the poison like you asked. Do want to taste it? A sip won't kill you. >>701696925 (OP) >RPG gives you an autistic girl with a tragic backstory >You have to work hard to earn that smile Love this little s--- like you wouldn't believe. >> ☐ Anonymous 01/31/25(Fri) 15:19:37 No. 701706863 File: GET OUT OF MY HEAD NOAH.png (25 KB, 240x160) but if you lose it's all over. your life, you >>701706905 The game is taunting me >> Anonymous 01/31/25(Fri)15:20:23 No. 701706905 >>701706863 People die when they are killed. ☐ Anonymous 01/31/25(Fri)21:39:59 No.701724535 ►>>701725126 the very idea that Engage could be someone's first FE game makes me shudder.

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Anon felt compelled to visit a... | /r/Greentext

07/06/17(Thu)14:25:28 No.738045411 : Anonymous >all the boy p---- threads finally get to me >feel compelled to vist a t----- prostitute >find one that isn't full t----- but more trap-like 289 KB PNG >white, 5'4, flat t---, cute face etc >immediately notice how much bigger d--- is than mine >she calls my d--- "cute" and says it's "just right" >when we 69 I can't stop thinking about all those trolls who say traps are gay >with a d--- in my mouth twice the size of mine, suddenly these accusations seem legitimate >she stops and ask if I want to change positions >I just lay there with a d--- in my mouth as tears slowly gather in the corners of my eyes >break down and ask her if she thinks I'm gay >she spends the next 20 minutes comforting me and making me feel better >come home having sucked a d--- without even getting off >I've never felt like such a beta f----- in my entire life

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anon was a slave to disney | /r/Greentext

>Y >I....... media..... Cr terminal wojak.png 170 KB PNG I wish i consumed more *BEEEEEEEEEEEP*.......

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Anon starts a restaurant | /r/Greentext

Anonymous >be me >be 32 >Start a restaurant, cuz can cook >Pretty successful >Hire a 68 year old woman that's an ex hippy 25 KB JPG >Went to Woodstock and the whole bit >Despite be nearly 70, is actually trim as f--- >Start smoking pot with her on a regular basis >3 years go by >At her house getting high one night >She starts talking about how lonely shes been lately and asks if I'd spoon her >F--- it, why not >As soon as I do she starts grinding ass against my c--- >Umm, what's up? >Doesn't say a word, just reaches back, slides my pants down, latches onto my d--- and shoves it in her I just f----- the s--- out of a 71 year old and my balls have never been more drained. Ask me anything. 1 Reply View Thread 03/25/19(Mon)18:38:51 No.795899428

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Anons tries something new | /r/Greentext

Anonymous NO. 35020778 (12 m) >>35020836 >>35020964 >fap to traps for the first time >c-- twice as much as normal Is this where it all begins? PNG 101.18 KB Anonymous NO. 35020807 (11 m) >>35020875 ANON YOU HAVE TO STOP NOW!!!! THIS RIDE LITERALLY NEVER ENDS!!! STOP!!! STOP BEFORE ITS TOO LATE!!!! PNG 720.22 KB Anonymous NO. 35020836 (9 m) >>35020778 [OP] The taboo calls the loudest. You need to escape while you can. Anonymous NO. 35020875 (7 m) >>35020807 Can confirm. Stop while you can annon. I actually feel proude when I don't jack to traps on the weekends. It's a downhill ride.

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Filth and squalor | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/19/22(Sun)10:58:40 No.69102328 >have anxiety for months about messy apartment Damn, bitch, you live like this? >hot female neighbor keeps asking if she can hang out at my place, heightening anxiety 148 KB JPG >I keep saying no, it's a mess, and she's like haha mine too it's ok >finally get invited to her place for once >I step inside and pic related but 30x worse >say "Wow, almost as bad as mine" to make her feel better but h-------- bro why are women so disgusting?

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Anon makes a joke | /r/Greentext

>be me >Tuesday at school >it's 5th period and I'm bored as s--- 19 KB JPG >turn to my friend and say "don't come to school on may 2nd lol >next day I get called into the guidance counselors office >start talking about how they think I'm dangerous and that I'm gonna shoot up the school >mfw May 2nd is a f------ sunday

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Anon realises that Hitler was a genius | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: NFya3gs0 ) 06/19/22(Sun)16:16:36 No.382947647 Was Hitler unironically a genius? >total nobody at 30, no connections, no wealth >became the most promising politician just 10 years later with nothing but his charisma 1.09 MB JPG >created the most gigantic mass movement in human history from scratch >created an entire ideology from scratch >got rid of hunger and unemployment >gave a defeated and demoralised people their faith and confidence back >told Germans they're the best people in the world in a time when they were considered a joke >literally risked his own life in WW1 for his nation >whenever he spoke the crowd became f------ ecstatic, almost like under a spell >conquered all of Europe and almost Russia >conquered more territory than Napoleon or Alexander in a ridiculously short time >withstood the entire planet for 6 years >still lost due to betrayal >went down fighting till the last second, didn't even consider surrendering Seriously, was he even humans? There must have been demonic possession involved or aliens or some s--- because there is no way that 1 person can achieve so f------ much in a single lifetime and have such a titanic willpower.

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The Bamboozled./- | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: kPkSv/99) 07/07/12(Sat) 13:00:06 M >be 14 year old boy >chat with girl of my age >tells me she's into older guys >pretend I'm 19 >sext with her > arrange meeting >go to her house >it's chris hanson >crew goes to jail for sexting with me

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Anon is running the seafood department | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: BYp7mBjj) 06/21/14(Sat) 18:50:49 No.552392328 >>552392541 >>552393061 >>552393149 >running the seafood dept. in a grocery store >xenophobic, dumbass suburban housewives are the worst customers for us >If it's not American, it's not good and is probably diseased >if it's not wild caught, it's not good and probably diseased >every f------ day >"I want salmon" >we got salmon >"I want wild caught" >there you go >"why is it 30 dollars when the fark raised is 8?" >because we have to import it freshly caught from the f------ Copper River in Alaska >"I want to pay the 8 dollars though" >then buy the farm raised miss >"no I don't eat farm raised. Let me talk to your manager" >I'm the manager, bitch >"I want some tilapia" >here you go miss >"wait this fish is farm raised" >yes >"I'd like the wild caught tilapia" >that doesn't exist >"I only eat wild caught" >then you don't eat tilapia >"and why is it from Chile?" >because tilapia is from Chile >"where can I get American tilapia" >you can't. You live in Ohio you c--- >"I've been eating tilapia for years and..." >you've been lied to for years >"where's your manager" >surprise bitch it's me Suburban housewives who don't eat terrorist-fish piss me the f--- off

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Nose to the grindstone | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/29/21 (Wed)10:11:37 No.66762370 >be me >download grinder since not gay but want people vying over my massive slong Ceaser salad with no lettuce >guy adds me, chats me up & asks for pic 118 KB JPG >send c--- pic and he sends in return, he's quite big >says he wants to suck my d--- >fake tell him OK (I like to make the appointment and then never show up. Lowering AIDS numbers one by one). >he sends address >recognize it >its one of my close friends >delete account and app >he doesn't know it was me, but I know it was him >he is super conservative wat do now

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/v/ on unrealistic drug effects in vidya | /r/Greentext

8h (6/18 13:48) · 602856413 168 Re. 17 Img JPG 50KB (460 × 421) 12 Replies >take drug in vidya >screen becomes rainbow colored and shaky 8h (6/18 13:50) 602856474 15 Replies : >take drug in real life >desperately try to substitute lack of personality with the fact that you take drug :

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Anon have a good story | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No.627025189 16 minutes ago Got a story for ya. I'm not good at writing so bear with me. >A girl I knew in school was a total attention w----. >Never arrived to class on time and always made sure to make a huge fuss about it. >Didn't talk to her all that much but I did have a few conversations with her >Her wrists had cuts and burns all over them, she wore t shirts so she never hid them >I asked her why she was hurting herself like that >She said "No one loves me and my life is painful" etc etc >"No one loves you?" What about your parents or your boyfriend? >Answer she gave me was something like "They don't really love me" or some s--- >Made a point not to interact with her too much after that, because she's an attention w---- >End of the school year she came up to me and asked me if I wanted to go somewhere with her that Sunday >I'm not good with these situations so I couldn't say no even though I didn't like her >Sunday came and we went to the top of one of those tower car parks >Just as we got to the top she told me that she wanted me to be here as a witness to her suicide >Oh s---, I thought, she was going to jump and she was going to force me to watch >Had I known she was going to do this s--- I would never have gone with her >Not watching unless you do a flip, I said that to try and shock her into realizing this was stupid >Complete shock was written all over her face. She had thought I'd try to stop her >Ehh?! A-aren't you going to try to stop me? >Nah, go ahead. If you really wanted to live you'd stop yourself. >After a while she got down off the edge She walked up to me afterwards and tried to hug me with tears in her eyes but I told her I loved someone else. She asked me who and I told her to read the first letter of every line. 3 replies 000

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Greentext Stories - Anon smokes weed | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous 06/19/22(Sun)12:50:45 No.69103270 >Buy $200 worth of weed >Take one hit >Get paranoid about going to prison >Flush it all down the toilet >Remember it's legal in my state 18 KB JPG How's your day going, Robots?

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