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index.jpg.png 900 KB PNG >that one friend who got a gf and now tries to integrate her into your gaming group >keeps saying we don't talk to her enough

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: Anonymous 11/06/18(Tue)22:08:34 No.784190163 >>784189907 >be me >also from Cuba >decide to swim to America >jump into ocean >pringles in my pocket in case I get hungry >doinwell.jpg >get hungry after about a half hour >pull out pringles >cap flies off >pringles everywhere >f---.exe >see a shark fin >them n----- like pringles >shark n---- eats all my pringles >starts to come after me >swim the f--- away >shark catches up >bites my leg right the f--- off >about to go for my arm when I see a US coast guard boat >they carry me aboard >pass out >come to a couple hours later in back of grimy American boat >"hey, you're finally awake" >look at the officers nametag >"Todd Howard" not again >>784190258 #

Anonymous 182 KB JPG 02/11/25(Tue)21:45:58 No.702710239 >written to be empowered "anti- male gaze" lesbian protagonists by neil cuckmann >i still want to gaze at them

Anonymous HEY GARDI I KNOW YOU LIKE THE LIPSTICKS TO TEST YOU BUY. BUT COULD YOU PLEASE STOP? I CAN'T FEEL MY CHEEK ANYMORE Mwah JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE MASTER YOU TOLD ME THE SAME THING AN HOUR AGO. I REALLY NEED TO DO THE DINNER SHOPPING. DON'T WORRY, I'LL CALL FOR PIZZA. ♡♡ Mwah SIGH*... OK... 00 02/10/25(Mon)22:28:05 No.702688473 **Mwah ♡♡♡ Mwah 653 KB PNG >so why did you become a pokemon trainer? >oh you know, just my career path... much

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Anon Likes Poetry | /r/Greentext

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Making a good impression 101 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 48 KB JPG 06/25/22(Sat)02:29:00 No.69170114 >be me >at work >casual day >hear that we got a new colleague >she's a 9/10 shortstack >Im literally bricked up >time to exchange names >she arrives at my desk and starts to introduce herself >says her name is "Candice" >after hearing it, my mind goes in a fight or flight scenario >imagining the worst: she saying "candice these nuts fit in your mouth" >with lightning fast reflexes I don't let her finish and counter-attack >my name is Phil... THIS D--- IN YER MOUTH >she looks at me in disgust and leaves >she's currently in the boss' office Am I gonna get demoted?

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Anon has been tricked and backstabbed. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/27/21 (Mon)06:09:24 No.572380692 1612225502635.jpg 16 KB JPG >>572362878 # >f--- coworker >suddenly half the building knows I have a 4 inch penis and i'm a big f------ joke to everyone why the f--- did i do that >>572387069 # >>572394372 #

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Anon isn't taken seriously | /r/Greentext

02/05/22(Sat)10:38:44 No.872089694 I met a drunk girl at the bar and I went back to her apartment. She was on top and I told her to get off because I was going to c-- and she said "it's fine just do it, c-- inside me" I told her no and to get off but she just rode harder and kept saying "c-- for me" over and over. I tried to get her off me but I couldn't. What do I do now? Was I r----? : Anonymous 48 KB JPG : Anonymous >>872089694 (OP) # No 02/05/22(Sat)10:41:18 No.872089772 : Anonymous 02/05/22(Sat)10:42:28 No.872089809 You're gonna be r---- by Family Court if she pops out a little you.

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Anon commits a crime for a cause | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/24/22(Fri)15:41:14 No.880745570 >be me >absolutely abhor pedophiles >see a free spot on the darkweb market place >think real long and hard >grab jars >grab bleach, water, and food colouring >mix it all together 28 KB JPG >pour it into jars >market them as, "Real Loli Bath Water" >sell it for like 250$ a pop >advertise piss filled ones for about 450$ >kek im getting paid to poison pedophiles >f--- you pedophiles, go burn in hell from drinking my poison you stupid bastards wanted to post cause i really f------ hate pedophiles and they all should die

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Clashing narratives | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Benadryl ALLERGY Diphenhydramine HCI 25mg | Antihistamine Runny Nose Throat Seeing Oy ULTRATARS wat 24 TABLETS 98 KB JPG 11/05/21(Fri) 18:56:46 No.66040279 Anyone here ever abused allergy medicine? >700 mg benadryl >pick up phone to play clash of clans >spend 30 minutes on my village >phone vanishes >phone was upstairs the whole time >feel like utter shet for a week afterwards

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Anon Finds the Worst Place on the Internet | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 35 KB JPG 03/11/21(Thu)09:09:02 No.849327632 >get in argument with friend about worst places on the internet >I say this bored >he links me this https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDati ngStrategy/ and i thought you f------ where spiteful 23 Replies View Thread

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Anon is confused | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 85 KB JPG 08/12/19(Mon)23:13:42 No.53881727 >finally got my first boyfriend >ready to dust off the old hole and open up for business for the first time ever >he won't do it >am I ugly? >am I nasty? >what's wrong? >he's busy unpacking in his new apartment >decide to surprise him with lunch >sneak in, luckily the door was unlocked >hear groaning >hm >take a peek into his bedroom >he's face first into a pillow while a MASSIVE black guy is f------ the s--- out of him Brb, killing myself

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Anon wants to lose his virginity | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1 hour ago 11 REPLIES 48035334 >Be me >Hear about an o--- happening >Desperate to lose virginity so decide to go >Food, drink and sex what more can you want? >ffw 1 week >It's tonight >Go to the place knock on door >Greeted and asked to come inside >Halfway through the door and my heart stopped >They're wearing fur suits >IT'S A F------ FURRY O--- >Excuse myself and go to the bathroom >Lock the door and have a literal panic attack I'm typing this from inside the bathroom what the f--- do I do!?!

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Anon is a Linux user | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 88 KB JPG 10/05/16(Wed)22:53:29 No.56933906 >using linux in front of class mates >teacher says "Ok students, now open photoshop" >start furiously typing away at terminal to install Wine >Errors out the ass >Everyone else has already started their classwork >I start to sweat >Install GIMP >"Umm...what the f--- is THAT anon?" a girl next to me asks >I tell her its GIMP and can do everything that photoshop does and IT'S FREE! >"Ok class, now draw use the shape tool to draw a circle!" the teacher says >I f------ break down and cry and run out of the class >I get beat up in the parking lot after school >>56933921 # >>56933980 # >>56934022 # >>56934086 # >>56934109 # >>56934178 # >>56934188 # >>56934220 # >>56934403 # >>56935046 # >>56935239 # >>56935476 # >>56935492 # >>56935577 # >>56935904 # >>56936287 # >>56936810 # >>56937107 # >>56937142 # >>56942340 # >>56942658 # >>56949091 # >>56950097 # >>56959649 # >>56960132 #

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An interesting title | /r/Greentext

don't be to rude thanks- ^_^ Anonymous 02/18/15(Wed)03:14:02 No.598927926 >>598927615 Hey Kimmy. I like your new glasses. Hi, Tiffany. The curls are looking sweet. 'Sup, Dra'nakyuek, Destroyer of Worlds. Congrats on stomping that village yesterday. >>598929028598929097598929134

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Anon Goes on a Field Trip | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 91 KB JPG 10/10/21(Sun)08:18:32 No.65699292 >In 8th grade on Washington D.C. school trip >At some monument >If you go to the bathroom you have to bring a partner so you don't get lost >Go to the bathroom with some guy >I get done in 30 seconds and wait for him to finish s------- >Been more than 5 minutes so I leave without him >Everyone is starting to board the bus to leave the monument >Get on the bus and the teacher is taking attendance >Say here for him when his name is called >Leave What are your field trip stories?

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Greentext Stories - Anon isn't too happy about his friend's gf | /r/Greentext

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