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Anonymous (ID: 6xZOA/Vb 202 KB JPG 02/10/22(Thu)14:35:13 No.360556791 I havent showered in 10 months results: >zero blemishes, blackheads, pimples >bald spot on my scalp actually - regrowing- in >mosquitos and bugs dont bite me anymore first month was rough and smelled like a carcass and itched. after that, i felt like a beast of nature in equilibrium hence. skin just flakes off naturally, i think the thicker dermis contributes to bug invulnerabilty. humans are mostly hairless animals, not scrubbing the skin daily seems to allow it to work how its intended to. people say i just smell like nothing now, probably good for bears not picking up scent and whatnot. feels based. thats all i have to report for now. Is soap tax a must?

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext office supplies font

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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Anonymous 51 KB JPG 07/13/24(Sat) 19:01:05 No.78144878 >Try to shoot the former President >Miss >Trump supporters are p----- that you shot at him >Safe-edgy shitlibs are p----- that you missed him >Basically everyone regardless of political affiliation is clowning on you What a f------ retard

Anonymous The millitary has made me more(...) WOJAK US ARMY 9 KB JPG 05/12/25(Mon) 18:43:07 No.81148037 >Join army to pay for college and to get out of s----- circumstances >Most of the other guys there are also to get to college >Some of us out of desperation for better circumstances >See a bunch of f------ with silver spoons in their mouths treat us like we're a bunch of hardened killers >Said f------ think they're better than us because they have an education >These f------ also don't know, the vast majority of millitary members won't see combat as most jobs aren't combat related >To these idiots a cook is the same as an infantryman >I've been called a baby killer despite never deploying throughout my career or killing anyone >My job is literally a vehicle technician >Women avoid me thinking I'm a domestic abuser in the making >Retard civilians will say I'm more of a terrorist than the men I kill >They cannot comprehend that the military is not killing people for most of soldiers >I'm literally hated by half the country for just trying to have a better life >And these leftist f------ wonder why they can't win an election? >Not a Republican f--, but they've made me feel infinitely more welcomed than lefties >A Southern man saying "Good job son" and covering my lunch is one of the best things ever >Jesus Christ, joining the military really shows you how two faced most people are 58 Replies / 4 Images View Thread

: Anonymous 74 KB JPG 05/12/25(Mon)21:04:47 No.934436283 >be me a week ago >go to sleep >dream starts >I'm having a conversation with Yukio Mishima >I mention the fact that the japanese have trouble pronouncing certain english. words >he jumps from his seat and tries to kill me >wake up What does this mean?

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Anon has a PHD | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/02/22 (Fri)16:41:28 No.27227627 >phd student, 29 years old >know two junior undergrads in my program >one was in a club with me so I know her better, she gives me "ask me out" vibes when I'm around her but I'm lukewarm about her because I'm pretty sure we're politically complete opposites and she unironically used the term "incel" as an insult with regards to a famous author who had multiple marriages >second girl I met this summer, albeit briefly, but we had a lot of common taste in anime so we got off on a good start. She's also prettier but I have no idea of her relationship statu >they're both girls in a male-dominated major so they seem kinda close Seems like a situation where if I ask one out I'll have little to no chances with the other. What do you think I should do?

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anon should clean his anus | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous m 53 KB PNG >video gets spread around 09/02/22(Fri)09:57:45 No.884931472 >like attention so do more stupid s--- >beginning of school year >get stopped at front gates by a teacher >told to empty my bag and pockets >do as instructed >be me >in hs >decide to do a little trolling >make pipebomb >blow up pipebomb while recording everything >send video to friends >imsocool.png >goes fine but late to class >normal day 2 Replies >same thing next day >get searched >ask why >find out im the most unstable and dangerous person in the school >mfw im a terrorist : Anonymous poopy anus View Thread 09/02/22(Fri)10:00:29 No.884931538

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Anon learns something | /r/Greentext

YEAR 2021 VIEW Ukraine Most Searched for Terms of 2021 sex +13 русское домашнее (russian homemade) Ukroretard pov: 09/02/22(Fri)08:52:22 No.16058725 P--- hub B5A0EF40-B5A2-4403-BA01-E938DCEC1E0D.jpg 186 KB JPG >Go to the Pornhub >Search for "sex" >Search for "Russian p---"

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Do we even know who is this “4chan” person? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Dumb School Stories Thread We out here doin bad s--- n---- 103 KB JPG I'll start. 09/01/22(Thu)20:23:20 No.70050259 Our school had these digital whiteboards running Windows 7 on them. Had a little dumb thing that happened which I'll explain in a cringe greentext. >be me, absolute socially inept retard >13 at the time >No friends, no connections. >Breaktime >Wasn't allowed to stay inside the classroom during breaks, but me, and 5 other kids didn't give a s--- and snuck back inside cuz it was winter and we didn't want to freeze outside >While chilling in the classroom alone in a corner, I got the idea to fix up these stupid whiteboards because the internet connection was always slow and because I had quite a good knowledge about computers in general >Go to the front of the class room while the normies were watching me >Grab the wireless keyboard of the whiteboard and open up the command prompt >The normies were staring at me and one of them shouted "what the hell are you doing???" at me >Ignored them and proceeded to type in ipconfig/flushdns into the prompt >The same guy that shouted at me then said "woaaaahhh we have a hacker in our class" >Decided to f--- around a bit and typed in color 02 quickly followed after Systeminfo, which floods a wall of text about processor informations at the screen >The guy's eyes were wide open while the others stared in awe >After the break they sat down next to me and asked me what the f--- I was doing >I just told them I fixed up the connection but they didn't believe me and constantly said that I "hacked the school's system" >This was on the last day before the holidays kicked in, and I switched the school during that time and never saw them again I still cringe to this every now and then.

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Anon itches | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 28 KB JPG : Anonymous 09/02/22 (Fri)07:19:50 No.70052410 >have itch on the bottom of my foot >try to scratch it 13 Replies / 2 Images 598 KB PNG >can't, because I'm incredibly ticklish It's frustrating sometimes View Thread 09/02/22 (Fri)08:20:50 No.70052802 >>70052410 (OP) # >have itch on bottom of foot >it's under the thick calloused skin of the sole >can't scratch hard enough to reach it

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Anon pioneers the resistance | /r/Greentext

File: StupidFuckingRobot.jpg (335 KB, 1080x1090) I F------ Hate Robots Anonymous 12/16/21(Thu)10:57:01 No.84792429 ► >2047 >Sitting in my couch watching Terminator in 32K >Robomaid walks in >"Anon, I wish you wouldn't watch such bigoted media." >I respond: "If I wanted your lip, I would have wiggled my zipper, f--- off toaster" God I hate robots

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anon actually finds happiness | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 22 KB JPG >be me >just got out of psych ward for suicide attempt >life isnt going too well >suddenly the girl of my dreams comes up and says she missed me sm and starts crying >we talk every day and become friends >a few months later she lets out her emotions for me and i let out mine >im currently happy and with the girl ive always wanted >tfw your whole life turned around 1 Reply View Thread

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Anon's girlfriend got a roommate (omg they were roommates) | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Girlfriend just got a new male(...) 80 KB JPG 09/01/22(Thu)15:58:25 No.70047410 >girlfriend gets a new roommate >it's a guy who works customer service at a theater >tells me he gave her a ticket to a theater show and she asked him for another so she go to a show with me but he refused to >message her the next day at 8:30pm because strangely she hadn't messaged me all day even though it's her day off >she's responds and she's at the show >ask if she went alone >she went with the new roommate >stays in contact with me and lets me know she went to restaurant with him after the show >tell her she basically just went on a date with her new roommate >"Oh no, anon, it's not a date. It's more of an ice breaker." >he moves in today How long do I have before I get the "I think we should just be friends from now on" talk, bros? Two months? 09/01/22(Thu)15:59:40 No.70047426 Anonymous >>70047410 (OP). It's over leave her before she can cuck you Anonymous 09/01/22(Thu)16:00:10 No.70047437 Show up to her door and roundhouse kick him in the

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Anon has a healthy relationship | /r/Greentext

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anon was backstabbed | /r/Greentext

middle school Anonymous 09/01/22(Thu)13:43:03 No.884894647 >>884895148 >be me a couple of years back >known as "the weird kid" in middle school >a bunch of older kids start hanging out with me >start actually feeling good about myself >kid tells me they were making fun of me for being autistic behind my back why are people like this

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Anon is a ladies man | /r/Greentext

File: download (10).jpg (9 KB, 264x191) Anonymous 09/01/22(Thu)02:35:14 No.70041084 ► >>70041093 >>70041154 >>70041162 >>70041310 >>70041771 >>70043018 >ecuddling with girl >ask her if she gets hit on in public >she answers >finishes her answer with "you probably get hit on though, you definitely do" >she doesnt know im a fat n----- kek, im such a f------ catfish. Anonymous 09/01/22(Thu)02:36:46 No.70041093 ► >>70041107 >>70041771 >>70044608 >>70041084 (OP) If she hears the bed creak it's over

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Chad helps grandma | /r/Greentext

2h (3/3 15:52)-65776112 10 Re 1 Img JPG 57KB (1280x720) 6 Replies >Visit my grandma >She needs help opening a jar >l open it without any trouble >Thanks my little Hercules" >We eat together and spend the rest of the day watching her stories Never forget why you lift, bros Jodedwest?

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Greentext Stories - anon needs to be hosed down | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous (ID: 6xZOA/Vb 202 KB JPG 02/10/22(Thu)14:35:13 No.360556791 I havent showered in 10 months results: >zero blemishes, blackheads, pimples >bald spot on my scalp actually - regrowing- in >mosquitos and bugs dont bite me anymore first month was rough and smelled like a carcass and itched. after that, i felt like a beast of nature in equilibrium hence. skin just flakes off naturally, i think the thicker dermis contributes to bug invulnerabilty. humans are mostly hairless animals, not scrubbing the skin daily seems to allow it to work how its intended to. people say i just smell like nothing now, probably good for bears not picking up scent and whatnot. feels based. thats all i have to report for now. Is soap tax a must?

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